View Poll Results: Can YOU successfully drink in moderation?
Yes
44
9.28%
No
430
90.72%
Voters: 474. You may not vote on this poll
Can YOU successfully drink in moderation?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by hamandcheese 
There's no one answer.
For some, it's just the nature of how they drink. They don't like being drunk.
For others, they may experience negative consequences and are able to change their drinking habits/patterns.
And for others, the effort to moderate is both exhausting and typically ends in failure.
According to the poll ~90% of people on this board fall into the last group. To be expected. I'm just seeing a lot of sweeping generalizations being made. I mean surely we don't think that everyone that drinks to the point of drunkenness is an alcoholic do we? Or that everyone who's ever had a DUI is an alcoholic? I think it's important that we keep things in perspective lest we become the obnoxious, self righteous teetotaler. It may seem trivial but that kind of behavior turns many people off from recovery.
For some, it's just the nature of how they drink. They don't like being drunk.
For others, they may experience negative consequences and are able to change their drinking habits/patterns.
And for others, the effort to moderate is both exhausting and typically ends in failure.
According to the poll ~90% of people on this board fall into the last group. To be expected. I'm just seeing a lot of sweeping generalizations being made. I mean surely we don't think that everyone that drinks to the point of drunkenness is an alcoholic do we? Or that everyone who's ever had a DUI is an alcoholic? I think it's important that we keep things in perspective lest we become the obnoxious, self righteous teetotaler. It may seem trivial but that kind of behavior turns many people off from recovery.
IMO it is the repeated lack of control while drinking and the ensuing consequences that fines a problem drinker or alcohol dependent person.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 269
It really seems that we have a hard time imposing our views of drinking patterns on others.
To me, the point of this discussion is to offer our experiences and share our hope and celebrate our victories of living a better life without alcohol not to tell others how great we are, but to give hope others who are battling with the same questions we all have faced.
I now know that any drinking is not good for me. It is not because it leads to binge drinking, or illegal activity, but for me, moderation in drinking leads to the same feelings of depression and anxiety that binge drinking lead to. I had thought that reducing the quantity I drank and approaching drinking from a responsible perspective would have allowed me to be like everyone else. I was wrong.
From reading these forms I see that I am not alone. That give me hope that following a course of abstinence.
Is building a new life with new non drinking activities easy. No. Actually that is probably the most difficult part. But I have seen that many people successful at quitting drinking have done exactly that and now live much better lives.
To me, the point of this discussion is to offer our experiences and share our hope and celebrate our victories of living a better life without alcohol not to tell others how great we are, but to give hope others who are battling with the same questions we all have faced.
I now know that any drinking is not good for me. It is not because it leads to binge drinking, or illegal activity, but for me, moderation in drinking leads to the same feelings of depression and anxiety that binge drinking lead to. I had thought that reducing the quantity I drank and approaching drinking from a responsible perspective would have allowed me to be like everyone else. I was wrong.
From reading these forms I see that I am not alone. That give me hope that following a course of abstinence.
Is building a new life with new non drinking activities easy. No. Actually that is probably the most difficult part. But I have seen that many people successful at quitting drinking have done exactly that and now live much better lives.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
As I look at these results I see 8% of members saying that they can drink in moderation. I think it is safe to say that the 92% who say they can't are correct. I wonder how many of the 8% say they can but are fooling themselves? i would say the reality is more like 98%-2%.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Oh I tried!!! By god I tried. Can't even entertain the thought anymore. The thought itself is exhausting!
But hats off to those who can, just be careful not to let it slip away from you like it did to so many of us.
But hats off to those who can, just be careful not to let it slip away from you like it did to so many of us.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 852
I convinced myself during and after my first inpatient detox that my drinking wasn't "over" and I would be able to control my drinking. My logic was 1-2 days a week drunk, is better then 0 days. That's some alcoholic logic for you, hanging onto any bit of "the drunk" I could. I lasted 67 days sober with that mindset and relapsed on alcohol and ecstasy one night. That was November 17th, 2013 and I checked myself back into an inpatient detox on December 26th, 2013. I was drinking everyday again and had been for weeks...long story short I thought I could "moderate" how often I got drunk, but in the end it didn't take very long for me to end up right where I was...and back in detox. I promised myself only one attempt with "moderate" drinking. If it failed (like I thought) I'd simply move on with my life and so far I'm holding myself to that promise, one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 224
I've been moderating for a few months now. Tonight I decided I was going to have a few and "unwind". I drank 3 beers over 4 hours. I cracked the fourth one and took a sip and said "nah..it's not worth the pain tomorrow". I poured out the rest. I know I drink too much and it's not healthy, but I'm doing what I can.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm doing what I can.
I sense a real sadness in your posts CFD - like you'd like to be where most of us are. Maybe I'm projecting, but don't give up.
If I can give up completely after drinking all day everyday for 5 years (and binge drinking before that for 20) you can definitely get to be whereever it is you want to be - and be the person/husband/father you want to be as welll
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: MPLS, MN
Posts: 164
I voted no. But for those that voted yes what is the moderation life like? I know I seriously tried moderation for a year and half arsed for a couple years prior and it was such a stressful time in my life. For that year I would have to say I had a 5 to 10 success rate. Sure, I got that 40 oz of Mickey's or a two for one pint of Two Hearted at the bar and kept it at that. But the second that last drop went down I would debate having more. Sometimes it would just be a bomber of Hop Stoopid I would pick up on my way home for later when I couldn't stand it no longer. And then I would be down on myself for breaking my moderation rule. And then there were times when the gates could contain it no longer and I was sneaking as many drinks as I could. Lying to everyone around me and myself. Really getting down on myself. Waking up hungover, no matter what degree of agony it was, amped up the self loathing. Self loathing could go two ways, either have a drink and make it go away to only come back two fold later or workout and spend a couple days dry telling myself that next time will be better and thinking of news ways to moderate my drinking only to take that one first drink and begin the downward spiral all over again.
People without drinking problems don't think of moderation. They don't spend all day planning out their drinking. The extent of their planning is "Oh, looks like I'll be going to the bar tonight, but I'll only have a couple because I got a meeting in the morning." And that's that. People with drinking problems put thought into it. They think about what they will drink, when, how much. They'll think about drinking almost all the time. In my opinion there is such a thing as moderation. But what kind of life is that?
The day I finally ran out of options was such a freeing day. I was able to focus on moving forward with my life instead of trying to turn back the clock to a time when drinking was fun. Moderation just stalled my life and crushed my well being. What is the point of it besides trying to appease the side of you that doesn't want to change?
People without drinking problems don't think of moderation. They don't spend all day planning out their drinking. The extent of their planning is "Oh, looks like I'll be going to the bar tonight, but I'll only have a couple because I got a meeting in the morning." And that's that. People with drinking problems put thought into it. They think about what they will drink, when, how much. They'll think about drinking almost all the time. In my opinion there is such a thing as moderation. But what kind of life is that?
The day I finally ran out of options was such a freeing day. I was able to focus on moving forward with my life instead of trying to turn back the clock to a time when drinking was fun. Moderation just stalled my life and crushed my well being. What is the point of it besides trying to appease the side of you that doesn't want to change?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,450
I have managed to moderate for weeks at a time. However, the day always comes where I go too far and use it to erase the day's pain. The fact is I've always relied on some drug or alcohol to feel good. This is fundamentally flawed and we were not designed to live this way. Someday I would like to know why we are different from other people.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
Originally Posted by 0percentABV
The day I finally ran out of options was such a freeing day. I was able to focus on moving forward with my life instead of trying to turn back the clock to a time when drinking was fun.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Jackson MS
Posts: 54
I've had an interesting relationship with alcohol. On many many occasions I've been able to only drink a few and not get wasted and act foolish. On the other hand I've been blackout drunk many times and gone through binges where I'd get blackout multiple days in a row. I consider myself an alcoholic of the binge drinking type, I can typically take it or leave it but I've been known to get on a drinking spell and make decisions that have lead me to not really enjoy drinking anymore
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by Clay601
I've had an interesting relationship with alcohol. On many many occasions I've been able to only drink a few and not get wasted and act foolish. On the other hand I've been blackout drunk many times and gone through binges where I'd get blackout multiple days in a row. I consider myself an alcoholic of the binge drinking type, I can typically take it or leave it but I've been known to get on a drinking spell and make decisions that have lead me to not really enjoy drinking anymore
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Boston, Mass
Posts: 1,004
At this point I know I cannot. About 4 years ago I started working out and eating healthy, and I supplemented that with reduced alcohol consumption. Lost a lot of weight, put on some muscle (didn't get huge, I was never athletic so seeing ANY muscle was a gain for me). Hit the gym every day, hungover or not. But sure as ****, the balance slowly shifted until I was drinking more and working out less. Quit my gym because I'd stopped using it. The belly is back now.
During that time I thought I was doing well, but I was still drinking alone and in quantities that normies would find appalling. Maybe those people at the gym weren't sneaking glimpses of me because of how totally awesome I was, but because I made the whole gym reek of booze.
I am certain that I am way past the point of moderation. For the last few years the only reason for me to drink was to get drunk. I'm no longer interested in "a couple of beers", unless it's chased with a whole lot of vodka.
During that time I thought I was doing well, but I was still drinking alone and in quantities that normies would find appalling. Maybe those people at the gym weren't sneaking glimpses of me because of how totally awesome I was, but because I made the whole gym reek of booze.
I am certain that I am way past the point of moderation. For the last few years the only reason for me to drink was to get drunk. I'm no longer interested in "a couple of beers", unless it's chased with a whole lot of vodka.
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