ESD907

After reading loads of posts the last few months, I've noticed a bit of a trend. I didn't document it at all, it could be all in my head. But many of us women (mothers mostly I believe) simply drank alone. Sure we drank with others when socializing, but I mean the alcoholic part of us. We did it in secret. It was not like we were out at bars, having a blast. we were sitting home, getting sloshed while trying to do laundry, take care of the house, etc. What was the enjoyment in it for us? I understand the heartache for some, when their social lives revolved around pubs, clubs. But us? Well ME really. Why did I continue this for years? All I've truly given up is secrets, bloat, being a jerk, etc. My social life is actually better now. (it was never grand, still isn't). I now go to the gym, I eat better. Why OH why did I stay there so long? I'm sober now 2+ years, actually 25months tomorrow. But, I've really only started facing it recently since finding SR. Thanks again for listening. Always available, unlike therapists. 1st day on whole 30 challenge too, if I can quit drinking, I should be able to cut sugar/wheat out for 30 days, no?

Sulu1

It is a very vicious cycle to break out of once you're in it - I only ever drank alone or in secret, because all my mind wanted was that buzz I craved. It was my 'routine', how I handled any emotion.

Add in to the mix the depression, anxiety and crippling hangovers that I could miraculously 'heal' with more booze, and well, it's a perfect storm.

I am glad you are thinking clearly about it, I have some way to go yet but I'm on my way.

IOAA2

Hi ESD. A simple answer for complex thinking people like myself is said it’s because we are alcoholics and it our natural reaction to the way we cope.
The simple answer to conteract the reaction we have is just don’t drink even if our a$$ falls off.

BE WELL

Nocturnal

Yea man..
I hate being a alcoholic..
.it owns my life

least

I drank alone too. I drank to get numb. So glad I don't do that anymore.


Congrats on over two years sober.

oldsoul1122

I drank alone much more often than socially, which is rare. I liked to let lost in the pleasure, let my breath out and relax my overactive mind, a break from reality. An inner experience. That is until it turned on me and all I got was angry irritable and depressed. I really do need to try meditation.

Soberwolf

I used to drink alone

Im with least on this 1 im so glad I don't do that no more

Congrats on 2 years you inspire me you really do

Nocturnal

Im drinking alone right now
....DONT DO IT im weak.

pakman

Many men, including myself did the same. I drank alone for the most part. I almost never went to a bar. I suppose I would have if my work and family situations allowed me to. But, mostly, I drank in my car, in the garage, anywhere hidden from view.

matt4x4

....because you are most likely an alcoholic, through and through. What do alcoholics do? They drink to change the way they feel.

Sasha4

Me too. I irritated myself when sober.
I could put up with myself more when I had soothed my frazzled nerves with booze.
It took a while to understand that it was probably he fact I was hungover that made me irritated.
Other people irritated me too, so the same applied there.

I also was quite unpredictable when I drank in terms of how drunk I got. I could have less than 3 drinks and not remember a thing, or I could have 10 drinks and feel fine.
I hated the blacking out and the daft stuff I did.
Drinking whilst hidden at home made sure no-one saw.

I'm not sure if I am correct, but I think a lot more women drink like this than men. Maybe I am wrong.

I would love to know how your wheat and sugar 30 day challenge goes too. Is it weight loss or general better health you are aiming for? Will you let me know?

I wish you the best.

ESD907

Sasha, found it on the exercise/fit thread..I've been looking for a challenge, and this seems it. I know everyone is into this paleo thing, I've decided to try. It can only help. No way can it hurt not to have wheat, sugar, dairy etc..especially for only 30 days. Heck, I drank like a fish for 4 years and i'm okay after all that beating my body took. Most people lose tons of wt and get energy, health, etc. Go check it out. a few people just finished their 30 days, and read it. Its under heading, fitness/health/nutrition.

gaffo

I drank alone or when I was with other people. I drank all the time. What a waste of time!

mirage

I mostly drank alone, too. It was my "me" time after everyone was in bed, my reward. For what exactly, I'm not sure. lol Making it another day? I see now that I was really lonely. My wine at night was definitely an escape. I didn't like to drink socially as much. Had to watch what you said, make sure you didn't seem too drunk, get home safely, etc. I'm not a horribly social person anyway, so that's part of it. Don't get me wrong, I drank a lot with other people in college and stuff, but at the end there, I'd have much rather had a party for one. Glad your'e free.

matt4x4

Cant stand yourself sober, Cant stand yourself drunk.
Been there done that, got the T-Shirt!

Sasha4

Thanks mate, I will have a look.
I try to eat 'clean' anyway as I have problems similar to coeliac disease.
I have a huge duodenal ulcer too.

AlexThedude

I usually drank, and did drugs alone, too... but i also did them socially, of course. Yes, I've found that since I quit drinking and (hard) drugs, my dieting willpower is much stronger, too. I quit alchohol, meth, heroin, and cigarettes, for God's sake I can abstain from some freaking candy haha.

ScooterBoo

When I drank socially it was at a function or out with a committee or group of friends, and I always limited myself to one or two, occasionally three. I thik part of the reason is I never found it socially acceptable for a woman alone to drink in a bar; part of it the cost of drinking outside the home.

At home, where I live alone with just my dog, I drank, drank and drank more most nights. On weekends if I had no plans I would sometimes start at noon; after taking early retirement, I tried to start at 4:00; sometimes toward the end, only if I knew I would not be seeing anyone, I would sometimes start at 10:00am. Then I would need a nap by 4:00, and would have the crazy dreams, heart-pounding, same song going through my head, panic over wondering if I had phoned, texted or emailed something inappropriate.....If I was totally hung over, I might start early the next day, might not drink at all. I might go 3, 4, 5 days without a drink, I might drink for days at a time. I hope and pray this is behind me.

iam2antsy

i've drunk alone for 5 yrs. do it to feel comfortably numb. don't feel so bored and alone when drinking.

Roy7

I did the vast majority of my drinking alone. For me it was to escape for a time from my feeling of anxiety, mostly. But once the initial buzz wore off, I felt worse than when I started. I'm amazed it took me so long to wise up, but the AV is a strong and persistent beast. When you decide to quit, you lock him up. When you decide to quit for good, you throw away the key.