TheRestorative

No one at work knows I'm an alcoholic, so of course I'm asked to go out for drinks all the time. And when I'm appearing stressed or over-worked, a "tall glass" is suggested.

Tonight, I noticed a male co-worker, who I have always talked friendly with and felt I could confide in, was acting different around me. At one point, he appeared frustrated with me and I asked him, in front of two other co-workers, why the sudden change in mood? He very quickly became angry with me and came at me for creating tension between us and acting differently lately at work with him. I was shocked, to be honest with you! I hadn't even realized.

Could I be acting differently at work? Could the stress of early sobriety be changing how I am at work? I think it could be. I used to love going to my job, and now I don't like going. I used to be very friendly to everyone there, and now I'm on edge and acting strange and maybe even rude. I'm not meaning to. I cried all the way home from work tonight. I didn't mean to offend anyone. I certainly didn't intend to create tension at work, either. I'm just under a lot of pressure and stress and no one understands. And instead of calmly addressing the issue, my co-worker just blew up at me.

No one understands! It makes all of this THAT much harder. I feel like a monster, but I don't mean to be so difficult. I'm a mess. I want to be held, but I'm pushing people away at the same time. I want to let people in, but I'm keeping everyone at a distance. I'm sensitive to things that normally wouldn't bother me. I feel different.

I need to sleep now. 4 nights sober. Tomorrow is another day.

Dee74

Day 4 is such an emotional minefield/rollercoaster.

I know we want to be 'fixed' and all cylinders firing, but the truth is early recovery is rough - everything and anything can wound us, and make us think it's much bigger than it is.

All I focused on for the first 30 days was staying sober. Frankly that was more than enough for me to deal with.

If people felt I was being cold or distant or stand-offish, I figured my true friends would get me and forgive me...and they did - even if they couldn't really understand what was going on.

This is not the way it will always be - it gets better, and you'll find a constant emotional level again, trust me

D

aborkie

The important thing is the four nights sober. You're at a tough stage right now. Stay committed because all of the small stuff will work itself out. If you're like me you will go through a transformation and soon not even be thinking about alcohol and you can start living your life.

Tonymblue

It will pass. This last go around i was still dry heaving on day four. Youre doing great.

Nocturnal

Ya I just slipped and. Fell. I think you are doing

zjw

i had to push forward regardless of these types of things and i excused some collaterol damage as a result and figured i'd circle back around and try to clean up some of those messes as I progressed in sobriety. I really didnt need to circle back much in my case I found a lot of it kinda just had to be in my case. The friction created in some relations kinda needed to be there to sorta right the ship in the past rather then coping with things that stressed me and expressing this stress to others I washed it away with booze.

I realize it makes it harder tho. it seems like no one gets it. and you know no one does you cant fault them for it. even if they new what was going on unless they are alcoholics themselves they will likely still not get it.

You have to push forward come hell or high water and stay sober. Even if it means loosing it all and gaining only sobriety. I say this because its unlikely you will loose it all and some of the things you loose along the way in your sober journey are things you kinda needed to loose anyhow if they meshed so well with the sober you it woudlnt be a big deal.

Just be careful not to use situations like this as excuses as why sobriety isnt working or an excuse to drink. generally being sober is never the issue. The issue is how we cope and mingle and we also learn perhaps we dont like certain things as much as we thought we did or perhaps he cant tackle so much without the aid of booze etc.. everyones different.

hang in there.

Music

There will always be people around you that don't understand. That's why it was so important for me to go where people do understand. I started going to AA meetings. I'm not saying you shouldn't investigate other outlets like here at SR but face to face with someone who does understand can be of much more help. Go to meetings as often as you can, get a sponsor and start taking positive action to change so you don't have to drink any more. In time, you'll see the changes taking place and your confidence will grow, you'll have some new friends and like Dee mentioned, the people who really are your friends will support you. Just don't drink for today. And by the way, the need to be held and feel wanted and needed will happen in time. Maybe not in your time, but those things will happen.

Soberwolf

Completely agree with this

trachemys

One member here has this as their signature:

" People who can control their drinking don't have a voice in their head telling them they can."

That's the difference between us and them. They will never understand.

Tamerua

Aw restorative, it's ok. It's early, you're changing. You probably are acting a little differently, it's stressful for the first who knows how long. I was tense and serious my first month and I'm a total goofball.

Just say you're my feeling all that hot and take good care of yourself.

TSDD

LOL. I was hearing voices for the first half a year. I'd say whatever emotional chaos is going on in your head is pretty well par for the course.

The sure fire cure for the way you're feeling now is to throw some sober-time at it.

The important thing to know is that you can stay sober in the condition you are in right now, and that if you don't drink, you're OK even when you don't feel OK, and it'll get better with time.

matt4x4

They dont got no "drinking buddy" no more. Funny how people you have drank with for years, decades even wont even call you up when you sober up.

Choobie

I cried in my cube because the printer was broken on day 6 and got caught doing it! When I returned to myself everyone forgot about it. It's tough when there isn't an easy excuse to hand them, but it gets better. I don't even have a month under my belt, but I look better, my head is clearer and I'm calmer. I'm pretty sure my coworker appreciate sober me, even though I had a bad day a couple of weeks back. You're doing great!

bunnezjp

In a perfect world, people you see everyday would understand. But, we don't live in a perfect world. Could be you need to stay away from Happy Hour for awhile. Take care of YOU.

Bunnez

resolute50

I know I acted differently at work.
I didn't feel like throwing up all day, every day. And actually started to enjoy my job.
Still thought my coworkers were dicks, but, that's just me.

You're probably acting more responsible now and the coworkers miss the "party girl".
Just remember that we understand. You're a valued member of our exclusive club.