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How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?



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How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?

Old 02-24-2015, 10:21 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I'm not sure, I drank a lot when I was alone and was never a high profile drinker.
In other words, I hid it.
I believe my wife knows I'm committed to sobriety now but some other friends are confused as why I don't drink anymore. I was a on the move drinker, never stuck around for more than a few with friends or in a certain place so it gave the illusion that I didn't drink much.
I only care that my wife believes in me anyway.
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Old 02-25-2015, 04:15 AM
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In my case about a year xx
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Old 02-27-2015, 12:11 PM
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Probably never. My XAH has made so many attempts, so many promises, so many lies. I always have hope for him, but even as we "speak" he's probably drinking.
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Old 02-27-2015, 12:30 PM
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Took my family about three years to believe it was over.

now they only worry when we are togethr like at a party and someone asks if I want a drink. if I hesitate even a second before saying no I see something like a shadow of fear go over their faces.

mostly I'm just deciding if I want soda or juice.
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Old 02-27-2015, 12:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Archelon View Post

now they only worry when we are togethr like at a party and someone asks if I want a drink. if I hesitate even a second before saying no I see something like a shadow of fear go over their faces.
I have seen that same look with deep concern from some of my family members from time to time.

It lessens more each any every added sober year.

Mountainman
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Old 02-27-2015, 01:10 PM
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I'm lucky no one ever gave me any indication that they doubted my resolve. maybe they did? I dunno but they never made me feel as if I had to measure up. the old Oh i'll believe it if he can go X amt of time etc.. Never had to deal with any of htat.

now other folks that I had not seen a while where downright floored i no longer drink. How is it possible I never thought i'd see the day etc...
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Old 02-27-2015, 01:12 PM
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I didn't really pay attention personally, I couldn't let what others think dictate my emotions. I sobered up for me, and if someone else thought I was going to relapse any day, well I couldn't control that. That said, my wife's concern level dropped noticeably by a year or so in, and for co-workers who don't know the story and don't see me outside of work, it was a few years.
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Old 02-27-2015, 01:26 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Flynbuy View Post
Great question, for me with less than three months I don't have the answer. But, at my age - (not revealing, but I did vote for Reagan) I think they already see the commitment in my heart and most importantly daily actions = 90+ meetings in 79 days......

Today, I must be content with their look of HOPE. But, alas only time will answer this question for me. Can't buy time......

Great question Bob, very helpful
Thanks
Still sober at 8 1/2months and others believe as I do now that my intention is to never drink again!

HOPE nurtured by faith.......
Still a great question Bob!

(never quoted myself )
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Old 02-27-2015, 01:59 PM
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Thought I could give a perspective from the other side of the street. I don't think I will ever quite believe it's forever because believing that strips away the defences should a relapse occur. That said, I would trust the longevity enough to have a child with my partner only after two or three years sober. That's not to say I wouldn't believe his good intentions or seriousness, but to stop worrying... Well that would take a few years for me.
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Old 02-27-2015, 02:10 PM
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At 14 months today I can honestly say my family has regained some faith in me. Meaning they believe I will stay sober moving forward and continue to improve my life. Talk is cheap and actions mean everything. They didn't want to hear me talk about not drinking, but actually do it. They didn't want to be convinced with more of my classic "I'll stay sober speeches", but to actually see it happen. Still a long way to go, but I'm happy to be here today at 14 months.
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Old 10-31-2015, 08:32 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?

Well after what some of us put them through.

I would say that it may take some years.

One day at a time they do add up.

MM
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Old 02-06-2016, 07:49 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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convinced ??????????????????

How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?

As I'm setting here today I'm thinking that
the true answer to this question may be 5 to 10 years ?
Convinced is a big word.
M-Bob
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Old 02-06-2016, 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob View Post
How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?
Never mind the family. I wasn`t convinced myself I would stop drinking. Outside of my wife, sister and a close friend never talked about getting sober and almost 24 years later I still don`t talk about it.

By not shooting my mouth off I never felt pressure regarding my sobriety. I`m not saying what I will do tomorrow. I`m just not having a drink today.

I find a lot of comfort looking at sobriety this way.
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Old 02-06-2016, 07:00 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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It was never suggested I wouldn't but they all probably thought I was going to drink again. I was 2 weeks into it before I even said anything to my husband about quitting. He noticed I was not drinking but didn't bring it up. When I used the A word he tried saying I wasn't. I imagine he thought I would drink again and told me to cut back. My friends all thought I was on some kick and every once in a while would forget I quit. Now I am just one of the non drinking friends in the group. My kid was the only one who has ever called me out for my drinking.

It took about 6 months before I felt that shift and I knew I was probably going to make it. Before that it was day by day at times. I was accused of drinking during one of my PAWS episodes by my husband and one other time when I brought home a 2liter of Coke. I got really upset both times and he couldn't figure out why. He still doesn't get he was really close to having a full blown A word for a wife.
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Old 02-09-2016, 07:56 AM
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I love this thread.

My eldest is the one that was hurt most by my drinking and the one who is the least trusting. Perhaps there is a correlation -- ya think??

And yet at moments I still don't see on some emotional level why she doesn't just trust me.

Then I take a reality pill and put my grownup pants on and thank God nothing worse happened.
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by Dropsie View Post
I love this thread.

My eldest is the one that was hurt most by my drinking and the one who is the least trusting. Perhaps there is a correlation -- ya think??

And yet at moments I still don't see on some emotional level why she doesn't just trust me.

Then I take a reality pill and put my grownup pants on and thank God nothing worse happened.
We have some pretty awesome kids! The very worst consequence of my drinking would be if she thought drinking a pint a night gooned out on the couch was normal and try to emulate me. From 6 to 16 I set the example that heavy drinking was cool. I am so glad she saw through that BS.
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Old 02-09-2016, 08:56 AM
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I think around 6 months my family knew I was committed !
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Old 02-09-2016, 02:20 PM
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Convinced is a word that carries a lot of weight.
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Old 02-09-2016, 04:30 PM
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SR, gooned? What's gooned?

I don't know how long it will take to convince my family. Like Ken, I'm not convinced myself. It's somewhat comforting that I could say this two decades from now and still be sober.
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Old 06-19-2016, 06:51 AM
  # 40 (permalink)  
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8 years sober

Originally Posted by Obladi View Post

I don't know how long it will take to convince my family. Like Ken, I'm not convinced myself.
Today I truly think that I will never drink again.
I believe that my wife thinks the same.
Reason
I know what God has saved me from and it wasn't pretty.
MB
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