How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Indiana
Posts: 174
I'm not sure, I drank a lot when I was alone and was never a high profile drinker.
In other words, I hid it.
I believe my wife knows I'm committed to sobriety now but some other friends are confused as why I don't drink anymore. I was a on the move drinker, never stuck around for more than a few with friends or in a certain place so it gave the illusion that I didn't drink much.
I only care that my wife believes in me anyway.
In other words, I hid it.
I believe my wife knows I'm committed to sobriety now but some other friends are confused as why I don't drink anymore. I was a on the move drinker, never stuck around for more than a few with friends or in a certain place so it gave the illusion that I didn't drink much.
I only care that my wife believes in me anyway.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 132
Took my family about three years to believe it was over.
now they only worry when we are togethr like at a party and someone asks if I want a drink. if I hesitate even a second before saying no I see something like a shadow of fear go over their faces.
mostly I'm just deciding if I want soda or juice.
now they only worry when we are togethr like at a party and someone asks if I want a drink. if I hesitate even a second before saying no I see something like a shadow of fear go over their faces.
mostly I'm just deciding if I want soda or juice.
It lessens more each any every added sober year.
Mountainman
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I'm lucky no one ever gave me any indication that they doubted my resolve. maybe they did? I dunno but they never made me feel as if I had to measure up. the old Oh i'll believe it if he can go X amt of time etc.. Never had to deal with any of htat.
now other folks that I had not seen a while where downright floored i no longer drink. How is it possible I never thought i'd see the day etc...
now other folks that I had not seen a while where downright floored i no longer drink. How is it possible I never thought i'd see the day etc...
I didn't really pay attention personally, I couldn't let what others think dictate my emotions. I sobered up for me, and if someone else thought I was going to relapse any day, well I couldn't control that. That said, my wife's concern level dropped noticeably by a year or so in, and for co-workers who don't know the story and don't see me outside of work, it was a few years.
Great question, for me with less than three months I don't have the answer. But, at my age - (not revealing, but I did vote for Reagan) I think they already see the commitment in my heart and most importantly daily actions = 90+ meetings in 79 days......
Today, I must be content with their look of HOPE. But, alas only time will answer this question for me. Can't buy time......
Great question Bob, very helpful
Thanks
Today, I must be content with their look of HOPE. But, alas only time will answer this question for me. Can't buy time......
Great question Bob, very helpful
Thanks
HOPE nurtured by faith.......
Still a great question Bob!
(never quoted myself )
Thought I could give a perspective from the other side of the street. I don't think I will ever quite believe it's forever because believing that strips away the defences should a relapse occur. That said, I would trust the longevity enough to have a child with my partner only after two or three years sober. That's not to say I wouldn't believe his good intentions or seriousness, but to stop worrying... Well that would take a few years for me.
At 14 months today I can honestly say my family has regained some faith in me. Meaning they believe I will stay sober moving forward and continue to improve my life. Talk is cheap and actions mean everything. They didn't want to hear me talk about not drinking, but actually do it. They didn't want to be convinced with more of my classic "I'll stay sober speeches", but to actually see it happen. Still a long way to go, but I'm happy to be here today at 14 months.
How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?
Well after what some of us put them through.
I would say that it may take some years.
One day at a time they do add up.
MM
I would say that it may take some years.
One day at a time they do add up.
MM
convinced ??????????????????
How long until the family was convinced that we would stay sober ?
As I'm setting here today I'm thinking that
the true answer to this question may be 5 to 10 years ?
Convinced is a big word.
M-Bob
As I'm setting here today I'm thinking that
the true answer to this question may be 5 to 10 years ?
Convinced is a big word.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
By not shooting my mouth off I never felt pressure regarding my sobriety. I`m not saying what I will do tomorrow. I`m just not having a drink today.
I find a lot of comfort looking at sobriety this way.
It was never suggested I wouldn't but they all probably thought I was going to drink again. I was 2 weeks into it before I even said anything to my husband about quitting. He noticed I was not drinking but didn't bring it up. When I used the A word he tried saying I wasn't. I imagine he thought I would drink again and told me to cut back. My friends all thought I was on some kick and every once in a while would forget I quit. Now I am just one of the non drinking friends in the group. My kid was the only one who has ever called me out for my drinking.
It took about 6 months before I felt that shift and I knew I was probably going to make it. Before that it was day by day at times. I was accused of drinking during one of my PAWS episodes by my husband and one other time when I brought home a 2liter of Coke. I got really upset both times and he couldn't figure out why. He still doesn't get he was really close to having a full blown A word for a wife.
It took about 6 months before I felt that shift and I knew I was probably going to make it. Before that it was day by day at times. I was accused of drinking during one of my PAWS episodes by my husband and one other time when I brought home a 2liter of Coke. I got really upset both times and he couldn't figure out why. He still doesn't get he was really close to having a full blown A word for a wife.
I love this thread.
My eldest is the one that was hurt most by my drinking and the one who is the least trusting. Perhaps there is a correlation -- ya think??
And yet at moments I still don't see on some emotional level why she doesn't just trust me.
Then I take a reality pill and put my grownup pants on and thank God nothing worse happened.
My eldest is the one that was hurt most by my drinking and the one who is the least trusting. Perhaps there is a correlation -- ya think??
And yet at moments I still don't see on some emotional level why she doesn't just trust me.
Then I take a reality pill and put my grownup pants on and thank God nothing worse happened.
I love this thread.
My eldest is the one that was hurt most by my drinking and the one who is the least trusting. Perhaps there is a correlation -- ya think??
And yet at moments I still don't see on some emotional level why she doesn't just trust me.
Then I take a reality pill and put my grownup pants on and thank God nothing worse happened.
My eldest is the one that was hurt most by my drinking and the one who is the least trusting. Perhaps there is a correlation -- ya think??
And yet at moments I still don't see on some emotional level why she doesn't just trust me.
Then I take a reality pill and put my grownup pants on and thank God nothing worse happened.
SR, gooned? What's gooned?
I don't know how long it will take to convince my family. Like Ken, I'm not convinced myself. It's somewhat comforting that I could say this two decades from now and still be sober.
I don't know how long it will take to convince my family. Like Ken, I'm not convinced myself. It's somewhat comforting that I could say this two decades from now and still be sober.
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