6 days and on the fence
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 8
6 days and on the fence
To be quite honest, I wish I.could blame every problem I have on alcohol. Alcohol quit my job, alcohol ruined my friendship, alcohol cheated on you last night and it was definitely alcohol who made you see me different. I know the truth though and it's somethinb I have denied for.years. The problem is me deciding to drink. I know how it will be every time, but I still chose to do it. I had excuses and reasons for everything for years and it wasn't until last week that I really confronted my issues wholeheartedly. I have attempted sobriety in the past, but my efforts have mainly been to appease other people or to suffice a stipulation in my relationships. Anyway, this time is different because I am actually looking at the big picture and doing this for myself. I want to live a more honest and carefree life without all the stresses alcohol has consumed me with since I was 16. My problem with facing this.obstacle is that I feel nervous around people or that I can not get to a certain level of configurability without drinking. I don't know what to do about that.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Congratulations on 6 days of sobriety. An important thing your into is being honest with yourself about your drinking. The next important thing for continued success is accepting the fact that we cannot drink alcohol in safety one day at a time if we are alcoholic and for that info we look at our track record and remember when, all the things we don’t want to remember.
It’s not easy especially in the beginning but we defiantly get better and better……
BE WELL
It’s not easy especially in the beginning but we defiantly get better and better……
BE WELL
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I feel nervous around people or that I can not get to a certain level of configurability without drinking. I don't know what to do about that.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I had the same problem - major social anxiety without a drink. I struggled mightily with this for the first year of sobriety, not just the first week!
You have to give yourself time to get "comfortable being sober". This takes a while. It's a marathon, not a sprint. During early sobriety and even in the first year or two, it's totally okay to stay home instead of joining the gang. You'll need some time by yourself to just kind of sort things out. It's not easy, but when you come out the other side, it's totally worth it. I am 2+ years sober and now I'm socializing with people every day. I saw a medical professional about my anxiety and that really helped. Plus, since I don't drink, I look great and feel strong: something that adds a lot of confidence to my daily life.
You can get to this point, but you've got to have realistic expectations and patience. Have you ever seen a new stadium or skyscraper after 6 days of construction? It looks like nothing, just a hole in the ground. Can you imagine if they just "gave up" because it didn't look good? I encourage you to stick with this, and remember that sobriety is a huge lifestyle change and it takes a while for things to shake into place. Don't pick up a drink - that's all you should worry about for now. You'll start seeing results but remember, you do need to give it time.
You have to give yourself time to get "comfortable being sober". This takes a while. It's a marathon, not a sprint. During early sobriety and even in the first year or two, it's totally okay to stay home instead of joining the gang. You'll need some time by yourself to just kind of sort things out. It's not easy, but when you come out the other side, it's totally worth it. I am 2+ years sober and now I'm socializing with people every day. I saw a medical professional about my anxiety and that really helped. Plus, since I don't drink, I look great and feel strong: something that adds a lot of confidence to my daily life.
You can get to this point, but you've got to have realistic expectations and patience. Have you ever seen a new stadium or skyscraper after 6 days of construction? It looks like nothing, just a hole in the ground. Can you imagine if they just "gave up" because it didn't look good? I encourage you to stick with this, and remember that sobriety is a huge lifestyle change and it takes a while for things to shake into place. Don't pick up a drink - that's all you should worry about for now. You'll start seeing results but remember, you do need to give it time.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
obstacle is that I feel nervous around people or that I can not get to a certain level of configurability without drinking. I don't know what to do about that.
sundaysmiles,
there are people around who encourage a re-framing of "obstacle" into "challenge".
sometimes i'm one of them
the configurability will come as time goes on. it's a gradual thing, one of practice and a bit trial and error. and even though there might be a sense of urgency about it, it's unlikely you need to figure it out right NOW, no?
congratulations on six days and welcome to the forum.
sundaysmiles,
there are people around who encourage a re-framing of "obstacle" into "challenge".
sometimes i'm one of them
the configurability will come as time goes on. it's a gradual thing, one of practice and a bit trial and error. and even though there might be a sense of urgency about it, it's unlikely you need to figure it out right NOW, no?
congratulations on six days and welcome to the forum.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Alcohol and drugs never made me do anything. Both limited my ability to get well though. My problems existed before both and for a while I could escape by using them. Like using a cortisone shot to cure a broken bone. Eventually I would need more and the bone would still be broken. Giving up both has allowed me to face life and deal on an honest level.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
The longer I am Sober the more I realise alcohol relating activities are not the centre of the universe, there is much more out there to get involved in, think about what you like to do, sometimes that is a tough question, because all I liked to do was drink and when that was gone I really needed to think about who I was and what I was interested in!!
You can do this!!
The longer I am Sober the more I realise alcohol relating activities are not the centre of the universe, there is much more out there to get involved in, think about what you like to do, sometimes that is a tough question, because all I liked to do was drink and when that was gone I really needed to think about who I was and what I was interested in!!
You can do this!!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Some fences are easy to sit on. Some fences are made of barbed wire. Some fences are too high to climb.consider this one of those high fences. Get off the fence, but make sure you come down on the right side. You may not be able to climb this fence again.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome sundaysmiles
I think a lot of us feel nervous around people...I think you'll get used to it and either get better with the anxiety or simply accept that you're the shy type.
I settled for the latter. It was a lot better than wasting my life and nearly killing myself with booze.
D
I think a lot of us feel nervous around people...I think you'll get used to it and either get better with the anxiety or simply accept that you're the shy type.
I settled for the latter. It was a lot better than wasting my life and nearly killing myself with booze.
D
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