LBrain

Went to a meeting last night. Filled my water bottle and sat. After the meeting there were some chocolate chip cookies still in the box. I had 2. Then I took a handful of chocolates from the dish and ate them on the way home. Cooked fresh sockeye salmon and steamed veggies for dinner. Went to a neighbor's to watch some of the Johnny Football show. And when I left I took a handful of chocolate truffles and proceeded to eat them all within a half hour.
I am so ashamed of myself. I was doing great until then. But after the first chocolate I wanted more! I saw how easy it was to fall. Back on track today and being careful to avoid chocolate in the future. I weighed myself at the gym this morning after my workout. I'm down a pound since yesterday so the chocolate attack didn't hurt me too much.

But I must say this. After about a half hour through the meeting, I started feeling bad about myself - and others. It was so gloom and doom. Why, after so many years sober does it have to be this way for people? The meetings are the same as always around here. It is a whole other affliction.

doggonecarl

Did you not feel like sharing something positive or uplifting? Or even mention the negative vibes as part of your share?

I used to go to the Unitarian church. There was part of the service called Joys and Sorrows, where you could go up, light a candle, and state the particular joy in your life, or the sorrow that was plaguing you.

Most people when up to light candles for sorrow. Most of the people where the same people who shared a sorrow the week before and the weeks before that.

Sometimes it took a brave soul to go up and light a candle for joy, just to break the gloom.

Maybe your meeting needs the same kind of action.

LBrain

Unfortunately it was a round robin, topic was character defects. I don't have any.

I wasn't picked, a decent crowd for a summer Monday. But even so, much of the talk centered on woe is me. After one person shared it seemed to drag everyone else down that same path. The herd mentality took over and it got more depressing with each share. These are people that know each other pretty well - 95%. And it's the same stories again and again. One of the reasons I stopped going.

Soberwolf

Unfortunately there is sorrow in alcoholism

Someone once said to me the good thing about being sober is you get your feelings back

The bad thing about being sober is you get your feelings back

Share your positivity but if it is starting to affect you in terms of sobriety I would suggest an action plan on what could you do to change the situation

Helping me grow all the time

When you say slip what do you mean ?

trachemys

Brain, being an eternal optimist could have been a character defect.

biminiblue

I have a love/hate with all things sugary. I feel your pain, LBrain. I have to be pretty diligent about having none of that stuff around.

Hi, I'm Bim. I'm an addict. (through and through)


Meetings are way too doom and gloom for me, too. PLUS THEY ALWAYS HAZ DA GOODIES!!!

LBrain

Soberwolf - sorry --- my SLIP was chocolate. I haven't had any candy for a long time. It reminded me of sitting on the couch eating chocolate to get through my early days. I eventually weened myself off junk and started eating healthy again. Until I saw all the junk at the meeting. I'm better now.

My sobriety is not at risk. I am doing fine in that department. I just thought it would be nice to see some of the faces I came to know from the meetings.

ScottFromWI

Doom and gloom is everywhere, not just AA meetings. I'd agree with Carl that sometimes it takes someone to simply stand up and add something positive. Even if you are discussing something inherently negative like character defects as you say, there's no reason you couldn't share a positive way you overcame a particular defect, etc. People are much more likely to complain than praise, that is simply a fact of life. How often do you hear someone praise a clerk at a grocery store for how good of a job they are doing? ;-)

aasharon90

Just like when I go shopping for groceries, I
try to remember to eat something good and
filling and when I shop, nothing looks appealing.

That's what happened this morning. I had a
2 pack of sugar free plain oatmeal in a cup
and woofed it down.

We went to get a few things for the week
and I stuck to my list because I wasn't hungry
and nothing looked appealing.

I remembered long long time ago, lol
when I watched Dr. Phil, I remember
hearing in the show that if the junk
food isn't in the home, we cant eat it.
or was it Oprah...lol I forgot.

Same thing goes for alcohol.

With a recovery program of steps and
principle to follow and incorporate in my
everyday life, I don't think, no, I know
I wont slip, today.

That's just following them a day at a
time and before you know it, you will
have acquired a many healthy, quality
sober, clean days at a time.

I also found that praying to be funny
does come true. It's amazing what we
wish for can come true. So be careful
what you pray for cause it will come
true.

I've opened my mouth to say something
and low and behold, I have people laughing
and couldn't believe that came out of my
own mouth. lol

They did insist that we have fun in recovery
and we all should try that because it takes
less muscles to smile then frown.

Whatcha think?

afloatsober

Going to meetings and moaning about how lousy they were was my way to.
Until a couple of things changed.
Somebody suggested that instead of moaning I inject some positivity, and my message of hope, if that's how i felt.
And i had reached such a low in my active addiction to alcohol that i really lost the will sit in judgement upon others.
I found that i empathized more with those that were struggling and trying hard to move on.
Or i could just not go.......
I still do.
G

Soberwolf

Hello brain I wouldn't feel bad for a chocolate binge every now and then my eating is varied but I'm dieting and can give you some proper tasty recipes I was up to UK size 46 but am now 42 I think and I continue to lose weight

I don't eat choc hardly at all except Ben n jerry all or nutting so good !

jdooner

I see the tongue and cheek here. Chocolate can be quite healthy. Try to buy and stick to 85% plus cocoa. If you are dopamine deficient its actually quite healthy. I try to have a few squares a day. I really like the sea salt and almond 85% dark chocolate from Lindt try to get them without soy or without milk too. Raw cocoa is a superfood actually.

Weight gain will usually occur a few days afterwards I have found. The issue has not to do with the fat from the food but what it does to you digestion or water gain from inflammation (processed sugars).

jdooner

There is a defect right there

gardendiva

This, yes.

I too relied on junk food in the early weeks. I don't think choco is a slip on an alcoholic forum .

silentrun

I get that. Sugar really helped me getting passed the first few months. I could snort salt water taffy. It got to that the more I get the more I want point just like with the alcohol. I went cold turkey last summer and after the first couple days it was awesome. Then I thought I could moderate and well here I am struggling to get my kite in the air again.

Soberpotamus

Mmmm chocolate I make a four ingredient chocolate using cocoa powder, coconut oil, honey, and vanilla. Good stuff.

soberjuly

I second the dark chocolate idea. When you said you slipped I assumed alcohol. I don't really consider a chocolate binge a slip or I slipped every day last week on holiday! They had such amazing desserts! Or course, my downfall is cheesecake which they served the last 3 days of my stay.

desypete

its all doom and gloom living life daily for many people as they get hung about about anything even eating a bit to much chocolate : ) although i haven't met anyone in the meetings YET who has had a slip on a bit of chocolate,
your the first lbrain although this isnt really a meeting as such : )

ps
i have heard people complain about eating to much chocolate but never in a state that they think its a slip lol it did make me chuckle reading your post so thanks for that

leviathan

S.Jennie, not to throw LBrain off his program, but whats that recipe, man?

-great. now I'm feinding...

gardendiva

I need that 4 ingredient recipe too.