Serotonin

Alone time. Sometimes, ok, most of the time I find myself wanting to be by myself. I get overwhelmed by too many sounds. I'm extremely particular. I startle easily.

I was thinking about why I am this way. Why I need so much space even from those I love. So I hit google and did some research. Found some stuff about highly sensitive people and I related to it. I'm wondering now how this relates to my alcoholism.

Some links: http://www.susanbiali.com/your-best-...introvert.html

I scored 20 on this test: http://www.hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

Dee74

I think a lot of us would self identify as highly sensitive and/or introverted, shy and intimidated socially.

the thing is to not let those things dictate a return to drinking

I'm still pretty sensitive, intoverted and shy. I still need my own space.

Instead of fighting that and drinking to become some kind of gregarious party monster, I simply accept myself for who I am now.

I just don't drink to deal with any of that anymore

Croissant

Are you still on meds for your OCD? Maybe a doctor is best to diagnose.

I scored highly on the test, but I already know why.

Serotonin

Yup. Still on my meds. Still waiting to see if I qualified for Medicaid so I can see a therapist.

Aellyce

23 on your test I did many tests like this before, even as a child, my teachers wanted me to be evaluated for similar things back then and I always scored highly. I agree with Dee completely. Being very sensitive will always be both a bane and a blessing... the positive challenge is to bring good things out of it and not let ourselves get in our way too much.

zjw

I think its important to realize you are what you are and dont beat yourself up over it. But dont drink over it either. I always felt like there was something wrong with me then i'd beat myself up over it and struggle to meet everyone elses different set of expectations for me then i'd go nuts doing so. Now I dont care I am what i am and if they dont like it too bad assuming i'm not doing something wrong or something.

Serotonin

Thanks for the reply. I'm not beating myself over this much. Admittedly I do have guilt that I find myself drained after spending time with people I love, particularly my son and his mother. I have no guilt about not waiting to be around my own mother however as she is in denial of her own codependent and passive aggressive manipulation tactics from what I can tell. She is toxic to me. It's embarrassing to admit, but I've started to wonder if I dislike women in general. I believe it's just an over reaction to the relationship with my mother. Actually just trying to find out more about myself so I can understand who I am.

Also, I don't believe I'm a true introvert. I like being social and even the life of the party sometimes, but in small doses.

Alcoholism is on hell of an illnesses.

Admittedly, part of me feels the need to be prepared to have answers for those in my life that just believe I don't care or that I'm distant and cold. Maybe that is codependency at work, the explaining, but I don't know. I have little guilt over this. Its who I am. If I can explain it to people to the best of my abilities and they can't accept me it's their decision to receive it how they do.

Also, I would like to be more social and able to cope with what I perceive as over stimulation. I haven't always been so sensitive that I'm aware of. Who knows, maybe as my alcoholism got worse my sensitivity to things got exacerbated.

A therapist would probably be best at helping me understand all this. But therapists are humans with flaws like everyone else.

KAD

I scored 21 on the test. On a personality test I took once I scored ninety-nine% introverted. I can definitely relate. It can be used as an excuse to drink but it definitely doesn't have to be, and it will only make things many times worse if you do drink. I became more isolated than ever when I was drinking.

WhiskyTengo

Die hard introvert here. Its both a blessing and a curse.

breath

I Embrace, Love, and Celebrate who I am! I realize I am perfect just the way I am. Acceptance is a beautiful thing; and a daily Spiritual practice keeps this all in balance for the most part for me.

Soberpotamus

Just a note about my own experience with overstimulation (btw, I'm probably a highly sensitive introvert as well)... the startle response lessened in the past year as I recovered. I seem to be able to handle repetitive noises better as well. I can handle being around people more, and seem to require less recoup time. Some of these traits or symptoms are there during PAWS for many of us. Hang in there. Not sure how long you are sober, but I can say that it truly does get better... for me, anyway. Hopefully some of it will work itself out for you.

ScottFromWI

That's not a good reason to not see one if you think it would help. Everyone has flaws to be certain, but therapists are trained to help people with psychological issues. Just as doctors are trained to help with medical issues and lawyers are trained to help with legal issues.

Serotonin

No, I would like to see one very much. Having no insurance means I need state aid Medicaid. I'm still waiting on my application.

Just pointing out that although a person is a therapist doesn't mean the inherently correct all of the time. Probably much better at giving me insights than the average bear though.

trachemys

I scored 7.

Insensitive icehole.

oldsoul1122

I found that site about 2 months ago. Both my son and I are HSP. I'm also an INFJ on the Meyers Briggs temperament test. INFJ's are in less than 2% of the population. It's no picnic. Lights and sounds are the worst. Malicious gossip that happened 3 months ago STILL hurts me. I spend a LOT of time alone. Being around people makes me feel worse.

Serotonin

INFJ myself.

Soberpotamus

INTJ here.

zjw

neat I took that test in highschool fast forward I dunno 20 years I just took it again. I got ISTP in high school and ISTJ just now. I guess not much as changed and honestly I think i'm more ISTP then ISTJ. I guess over all those years i'm the same person i was before.

back in highschool i was the only kid in the class with ISTP.

interesting.