jmnyc

I have a tendency to way overthink things now that I'm seriously focusing on not drinking. (OK well I always overthink things haha.) I've had months at a time of sobriety, practiced some moderation here and there, but I can honestly say the cravings are gone and I'm slowly but surely marching toward not drinking at all. I have not been drinking at all in the past three weeks or so.

Today I woke up feeling kind of panicky (I have panic attacks), tired (insomnia), stomache ache (gastritis) and just CRANKY as hell. I'm a freelancer/contractor working on a pretty slow contract right now. I also have permission to work from home. But still - I agonized for TWO HOURS over whether or not to go into the office.

I elected to stay home, so why can't I just give myself a break? I feel so guilty not going into the office (even though it really doesn't matter at all) and like I did something bad and reminds me of the guilty days of not going to work because I was drinking. This situation is nothing like that but I still can't get over it.

And because of that, I can't get anything done! Just give myself a break, get some work done and enjoy my day. I'm also supposed to meet with a new therapist tomorrow morning, but I already suspect it won't be a good match, and I feel like I should cancel and save the $$ and focus on having a productive day in the office, rather than missing another two hours of "face time" with my client.

Ugh make this brain stop going round and round. I'm paralyzed by this overthinking of everything.

Clutch B

Congrats on your sober time! I work from home 100% of the time, and it took some adjusting to get used to it. I've learned that overthinking is just another form of procrastination But it's also a character defect of mine, that tends to get me into trouble -- both at work and in relationships.

For work, it helps me to make a "To Do" list for the workday. After accomplishing a few things, I'll reward myself with a break. (Granted, those "few things" might take 9 hours to complete! But still, that's the idea.)

And as I go through my "To Do" list, sometimes more urgent issues come up. So I'll pencil those in on the list and mark them "Done". Usually additional tasks need to be added throughout the day, so I'll pencil those in for tomorrow or the next day, depending on urgency and the timing of the remaining tasks.

At the end of the day, I can see a big long list of the things I finished, and I have a draft list for tomorrow and the next day. And that helps me to feel like my contributions are important -- even though I'm not driving out to an office to complete them.

So, good luck to you! If going into the office is better for you, then go into the office. People think that working from home is easier, but it really takes more effort.

jmnyc

Thanks! And you're totally right, overthinking is a form of procrastination!! Never thought about it that way, but it's likely true.

zjw

I'm guilty of creating things to worry about in my head.

Yeah round and round it goes. you should read my recent thread about work having me in a tizzy.

The bright side is it gets better. After i sobered up all that probably peeked at 4 months of sobriety or so. Yes it got a little worse becuase as the fog lifted there was a period of time that my brain was able to sort stuff out way quicker so I guess I decided to really go for it in the merry go round of thought.

I exercise now this helps I try to read and do activities to keep me busy and occupied so that i wont think so stinken much.

but here i am 3 years sober and i still have my moments.

Oh and I work from home too so I can relate to some of what your saying.

Angel1555

jmnyc, why don't you just go into the office if you are having trouble getting motivated at home?

jmnyc

I actually did wind up getting work done from home. Sometimes it doesn't make sense for me to go into the office if there aren't a lot of billable hours, and I know I *should* enjoy the fact that I can work from home and plan my own time. But sometimes planning that time is just really tough, on days with crippling anxiety. But...those days are certainly less often now that I'm not drinking (as much). Just have to keep focusing on more sober days and that helps.

zjw

i had to try and be thankful i could work from home and gain m sobriety quietly under the radar on the rough days. A lot of people dont get that luxery.