Thinking about drinking again
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi angelwithoutgod 
One of the great things about recovery for me is I finally stopped trying to be what other people wanted me to be.
I used to go along with what ever people wanted - even when I knew it was bad for me...
I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will tell you I believe that everyone deserves to be loved by someone who accepts them...exactly as they are
D
One of the great things about recovery for me is I finally stopped trying to be what other people wanted me to be.
I used to go along with what ever people wanted - even when I knew it was bad for me...
I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will tell you I believe that everyone deserves to be loved by someone who accepts them...exactly as they are
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 188
Angel, this isn't about your boyfriend, this is about you and your own sobriety and recovery.
I would strongly suggest that you get to as many AA meetings as you can, join an AA group nearest your home and ask a women to sponsor you. Sit up front at the AA meeting and listen. You will make many new friends in AA who will be there for you and help you to stay sober.....one moment at a time.
Angel, until you can learn to change the person who put down the booze and respect yourself through working a program of recovery.....you will continue to choose the same disrespectful man, with a different face is all.
Please put you, your sobriety and recovery above all else, because until you can do that, you will always be in danger of taking that first drink.
Untreated alcoholism KILLS, whether we drink or not!
I would strongly suggest that you get to as many AA meetings as you can, join an AA group nearest your home and ask a women to sponsor you. Sit up front at the AA meeting and listen. You will make many new friends in AA who will be there for you and help you to stay sober.....one moment at a time.
Angel, until you can learn to change the person who put down the booze and respect yourself through working a program of recovery.....you will continue to choose the same disrespectful man, with a different face is all.
Please put you, your sobriety and recovery above all else, because until you can do that, you will always be in danger of taking that first drink.
Untreated alcoholism KILLS, whether we drink or not!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by angelwithoutgod 
Well, last time I posted, I went to a party with my boyfriend and I didn't drink and I was shy and quiet the whole time. I had a bad time and didn't want to be there. Well, now my boyfriend is mad at me for being shy. He thinks I was being rude and anti-social. He's loud and outgoing and I'm the opposite. One of the reason's I drink is to come out of my shell so I can be sociable. But without that, I am just a quiet person in the corner. I just like to sit and observe and watch people. Its hard for me to keep up with a group conversation, let alone have the courage to interject.
Anyways, my boyfriend doesn't understand that this is the way I am and that I can't just snap my fingers and start being social. I don't know what to do. He can't sympathize with me at all. I feel like he's going to dump me or like he shouldn't be with me anymore. It sucks because he's younger than me and I'm 30 and I feel like my not drinking is causing a rift. He's not going to stop anytime soon and doesn't understand why I stopped drinking. I feel like maybe I should try to start drinking moderately just to be more socialable and likeable. I feel like without alcohol, everyone hates me because I'm the shy weirdo outcast. I'm just scared we are going to break up and this really sucks because he's all I have. I already pretty much lost all of my friends.
Anyways, my boyfriend doesn't understand that this is the way I am and that I can't just snap my fingers and start being social. I don't know what to do. He can't sympathize with me at all. I feel like he's going to dump me or like he shouldn't be with me anymore. It sucks because he's younger than me and I'm 30 and I feel like my not drinking is causing a rift. He's not going to stop anytime soon and doesn't understand why I stopped drinking. I feel like maybe I should try to start drinking moderately just to be more socialable and likeable. I feel like without alcohol, everyone hates me because I'm the shy weirdo outcast. I'm just scared we are going to break up and this really sucks because he's all I have. I already pretty much lost all of my friends.
is that your problem or his? im not a relationship expert, but for me love includes accepting people the way they are. if someone doesn't like one of my character defects and don't accept it, they have a problemand its only a character defect if i say so.
" I feel like my not drinking is causing a rift. "
that's how you feel, but its not true. i think its every one hangin with thats drinking that is causing it.
angel, by what you type, im reading low self esteem, which is what i suffered from for a long time. bending myself into a pretzel and sacrificing myself to get others to like me. i learned that by doing that i wasn't loving myself.it wasn't until i learned to love myself that i stopped doing that.
you can learn to love yourself,too and you should!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by angelwithoutgod
Well, last time I posted, I went to a party with my boyfriend and I didn't drink and I was shy and quiet the whole time. I had a bad time and didn't want to be there. Well, now my boyfriend is mad at me for being shy. He thinks I was being rude and anti-social. He's loud and outgoing and I'm the opposite. One of the reason's I drink is to come out of my shell so I can be sociable. But without that, I am just a quiet person in the corner. I just like to sit and observe and watch people. Its hard for me to keep up with a group conversation, let alone have the courage to interject.
Anyways, my boyfriend doesn't understand that this is the way I am and that I can't just snap my fingers and start being social. I don't know what to do. He can't sympathize with me at all. I feel like he's going to dump me or like he shouldn't be with me anymore. It sucks because he's younger than me and I'm 30 and I feel like my not drinking is causing a rift. He's not going to stop anytime soon and doesn't understand why I stopped drinking. I feel like maybe I should try to start drinking moderately just to be more socialable and likeable. I feel like without alcohol, everyone hates me because I'm the shy weirdo outcast. I'm just scared we are going to break up and this really sucks because he's all I have. I already pretty much lost all of my friends.
Anyways, my boyfriend doesn't understand that this is the way I am and that I can't just snap my fingers and start being social. I don't know what to do. He can't sympathize with me at all. I feel like he's going to dump me or like he shouldn't be with me anymore. It sucks because he's younger than me and I'm 30 and I feel like my not drinking is causing a rift. He's not going to stop anytime soon and doesn't understand why I stopped drinking. I feel like maybe I should try to start drinking moderately just to be more socialable and likeable. I feel like without alcohol, everyone hates me because I'm the shy weirdo outcast. I'm just scared we are going to break up and this really sucks because he's all I have. I already pretty much lost all of my friends.
I know a lot of people who are like your boyfriend,social butterflies and really out going. Two of these people just can't stand me because I'm introverted or give me a hard time when I'm quiet sometimes. It sucks if overall the bf is a good person but if isn't willing to accept you and understand your personality it might be best to leave him.
If you search introvert in google,their a really good description of how introverts can be. Maybe you heard of this before.
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