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Sigh. Liver cirrhosis anxiety...

Old 07-23-2014, 01:41 AM
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Originally Posted by EndGameNYC View Post
Is worrying over physical symptoms a new development for you, or have you been down this road before?

Both alcoholism and abstinence can either provoke or aggravate symptoms of hypochondriasis, a simple but painful and costly anxiety disorder.
Been down this road my entire life, actually - anxiety has always been my main reason for both overeating as a kid and overdrinking as a young adult. The further you dig down the internet, the more **** you can find to support whatever paranoia you have - it sucks. For example, I read the other day about an ultrasound missing one lady's cirrhosis - one. Not two and a boatload of bloodwork as well, just one. And so now, floating around my head is 'maybe they missed something' over and over and over again.

There is a part of me who definitely knows I am overworrying - but I just cannot help it.

Early sobriety has been a pain in the ass. But I will remember all of this fear and realize that it stems from drinking poison.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:31 AM
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Originally Posted by TheThrowaway View Post
Been down this road my entire life, actually - anxiety has always been my main reason for both overeating as a kid and overdrinking as a young adult. The further you dig down the internet, the more **** you can find to support whatever paranoia you have - it sucks. For example, I read the other day about an ultrasound missing one lady's cirrhosis - one. Not two and a boatload of bloodwork as well, just one. And so now, floating around my head is 'maybe they missed something' over and over and over again.

There is a part of me who definitely knows I am overworrying - but I just cannot help it.

Early sobriety has been a pain in the ass. But I will remember all of this fear and realize that it stems from drinking poison.
Yeah, that's what I thought.

If you're not already doing so, then you might consider getting professional help. Worrying yourself into a coffin is no way to live. Or die.

I imagine, also, that worrying has played a major part in your drinking. Unless you'd rather continue doing this for the rest of your life, it's time to get help.
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Old 07-23-2014, 06:28 PM
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I can relate to you in some sense. I'm only 29 and convinced I have cirrhosis. I'm having weird symptoms and anxiety. I had to go to A&E because I though I was dying but it was indigestion/heart burn that brought on a panic attack. I've been too scared to get blood work done but my therapist has convinced me to do so. I am so scared and expecting the worst.
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Old 07-25-2014, 01:55 AM
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My friend had similar symptoms as I and he ended up having fatty liver - but he quit drinking and went on the paleo diet and six months later it was clean.

I think for now I will just stay off the bottle and pray that my liver will forgive my transgressions. CaptainWhip, you should do the same
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Old 07-25-2014, 02:38 AM
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Sounding like you have an extreme case of Health Anxiety .... I totally see where you're coming from. I've had very bad health anxiety for many years. My last episode over Christmas had me hospitalized - very very humiliating now when I think of it .... i'd taken myself off to A&E, was on my hands & knees in the middle of A&E, screaming & begging for someone to help .... as I remember shouting "I'm dying - and no-one else can see this" (I was sober at the time ..... can't blame being drunk on that one) .....
I had test after test after test. Nothing would pacify me ....
This was all caused by alcohol & anxiety .....
I ended up on Sertraline (50mgs) .... and within a couple of weeks the anxiety started to subside - and I felt better .... (and of course - went back on the bottle !!!!) ....
So then I ended up on Sertraline & Booze (bad combination) .....
Trust me, taken from one who's spent the past 15 years suffering from Health Anxiety in it's most extreme form - if your tests are clear - you & your are fine ....

Big Hugs & take care
xx
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:36 AM
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Get yourself in the gym....do 40 minutes of cardio and 30 minutes of light weights.....do that several times per week. Your mind will be so pre-occupied on your sore feet, knees, arms, abs, etc that you will totally forget about the other thing!

go go go
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Old 07-25-2014, 10:58 AM
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I have been working out and it feels good!
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:03 AM
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The exercise is an amazing thing. Certain chemicals are released during/after workout that are similar to those that I used to abuse.

My therapist makes sure that I am keenly aware of the difference between normal training and training obsessively. Either way, as long as I am on a treadmill, lifting, watersporting, etc...my mind does not wander towards the darkside.
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Old 07-25-2014, 04:53 PM
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Oh yeah exercise is great. I have a nice road bike and cycle quite often and when I do I go as fast as I can (it's almost like I'm trying to get away from my problems). When I'm finished I feel high. It's a great feeling.
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Old 07-27-2014, 01:38 PM
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I in part disagree with how much faith this board puts in a Dr's opinion. I remind you, upon a physical exam 3 months ago, Dr. said I had cirhosis. Then I had 2 rounds of blood work and an MRI. Everything was fine and checked out as normal. All I had was elevated bilirubin and was even told it was OK to drink, just take this as a warning sign.

Well, I did drink a little and my liver would feel inflamed as if it were pushing on other organs and had slight discomfort. I also started to develop mild symptoms of neuropathy such as numbness and tingling. Haven't gotten the pins and needles feeling and it has been manageable. I am trying to replenish my body with B vitamins now.
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:16 PM
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I have had six rounds of bloodwork and two ultrasounds, now. Absolutely zero clinical evidence whatsoever except for elevated bilirubin that one time.

HOWEVER, interestingly enough, while no evidence of liver cirrhosis, I did happen to test positive for Celiac disease. Which, as it turns out, can elevate bilirubin and cause everything from neuropathy to balance issues to inner ear problems.

The quest continues...
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:21 PM
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Well what you can be certain of, is that you won't be dropping dead anytime soon of liver failure, the thing is something would have flagged up somewhere if that was the case, even to the point of you not feeling too well and seeing noticeable physical changes!!

After some time Sobriety will cause the liver, had there been any inflammation etc to heal and regenerate, so you'll not be able to find what your looking for in the end as the body will have potentially beaten you too it, by repairing itself.
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Purpleknight View Post
Well what you can be certain of, is that you won't be dropping dead anytime soon of liver failure, the thing is something would have flagged up somewhere if that was the case, even to the point of you not feeling too well and seeing noticeable physical changes!!

After some time Sobriety will cause the liver, had there been any inflammation etc to heal and regenerate, so you'll not be able to find what your looking for in the end as the body will have potentially beaten you too it, by repairing itself.
Yeah, my internist sat me down and explained how ultrasounds worked, put my mind at ease a bit. One can possibly miss something - but two?! Apparently it would present with 'coarse' texture and there are about 5 or 6 other things that usually show up - both of mine had nothing abnormal whatsoever.

On another note - today is the first day that I absolutely, 100%, do not miss any aspect of alcohol
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Old 07-27-2014, 04:10 PM
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I've also been a hypochondriac at certain times of my life. The worst was when I was heavily drinking, of course. But I did the classic running to the doctors / ER with a panic attack several times, first in my teens. That's how I learned about anxiety in the first place. It can only make it worse that I'm a biologist, so know a bit about physiology and all that. So I can come up with real "creative" ways to identify problems with me. My anxiety is the classic kind, when I mainly tend to worry about imagined problems and projected future "threats", the real problems and even many crisis situations don't tend to cause me troubles much. I also don't have much anxiety about trying new things (more the opposite!) or social situations. But my own imagination can drive me nuts at times. I'm also a very observant and introspective person, and the same skills that make me good at these are the ones that also make me crazy when on overdrive.

The best thing about the hypochondria that I've found in the past was to go and investigate the source of my worries with the appropriate professional, instead of getting stuck in my head. Address it head-on, like you have done also. But NOT in an impulsive way, every time I feel a little something. Scheduling regular normal medical checkups is the best way probably, no need for overdoing it. And I just put my faith in their expertise because I know that my own judgment can get delusional at times when it comes to myself. And shift my thinking and focus intentionally, and do something constructive and worthwhile. Have you ever tried any form of CBT? I took classes in the past and learned some tricks from one of my psychologist friends, but basically kinda trained myself.

Like it was mentioned before, exercise is probably the most effective physical "treatment" for anxiety. Eating a balanced and regular diet, and other healthy routines as well. I also found biofeedback helpful, and interesting.

I suggest that you develop some form of anxiety management for these worries. There is a huge amount of information and programs you can perfectly well learn from online sources. For me, currently a lot of my therapy work is addressing the different manifestations of anxiety that I am prone to, but I had also gone quite far working on it by myself before.
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Old 07-27-2014, 04:51 PM
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Maybe it help if we play "what if?" What if, despite all medical test and opinion, you does has mild liver damage from drinking. You know what prescribe medical treatment is for that: Quit drinking and proper nutrition. Is really nothing else doctor can do. You can asks them. So, while you working on anxiety issues, just stay sober, eat well, maybe throw in some Himalaya LiverCare which is gold standard herbal pill for liver health or drink some dandelion tea, and you can be assure you giving liver best care you can.
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Old 07-27-2014, 06:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Kllme View Post
Well, I did drink a little and my liver would feel inflamed as if it were pushing on other organs and had slight discomfort. I also started to develop mild symptoms of neuropathy such as numbness and tingling. Haven't gotten the pins and needles feeling and it has been manageable. I am trying to replenish my body with B vitamins now.
I have the same symptoms. So you don't have cirrhosis?
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Old 07-27-2014, 07:48 PM
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You're definitely going to have to talk to your doc about the anxiety this worry is giving you. Please do that when you can, and absolutely do not "let Dr. Google diagnose you," or you will also start to suffer from greying hair.
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Old 07-28-2014, 06:50 PM
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Originally Posted by Faceless View Post
You're definitely going to have to talk to your doc about the anxiety this worry is giving you. Please do that when you can, and absolutely do not "let Dr. Google diagnose you," or you will also start to suffer from greying hair.
Thanks,
I'm trying to keep it together. I had some blood out and my Dr. did another full liver panel just to assess how I am doing for my own sanity. I am trying not to look at all the stories of ultrasounds missing cirrhosis and hope that 2 different ultras rules it out :/
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Old 07-28-2014, 07:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Cow View Post
Maybe it help if we play "what if?" What if, despite all medical test and opinion, you does has mild liver damage from drinking. You know what prescribe medical treatment is for that: Quit drinking and proper nutrition. Is really nothing else doctor can do. You can asks them. So, while you working on anxiety issues, just stay sober, eat well, maybe throw in some Himalaya LiverCare which is gold standard herbal pill for liver health or drink some dandelion tea, and you can be assure you giving liver best care you can.
This is a great idea.

If you've been diagnosed with Celaic, check into a Paleo diet.
Many people have had fantastic results reversing it.
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Old 07-29-2014, 10:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Kllme View Post
I in part disagree with how much faith this board puts in a Dr's opinion. I remind you, upon a physical exam 3 months ago, Dr. said I had cirhosis. Then I had 2 rounds of blood work and an MRI. Everything was fine and checked out as normal. All I had was elevated bilirubin and was even told it was OK to drink, just take this as a warning sign.

Well, I did drink a little and my liver would feel inflamed as if it were pushing on other organs and had slight discomfort. I also started to develop mild symptoms of neuropathy such as numbness and tingling. Haven't gotten the pins and needles feeling and it has been manageable. I am trying to replenish my body with B vitamins now.
If you don't mind my asking, what kind of 'physical examination' did your doc do to conclude you have cirrhosis?
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