Mirage74

Maybe it's easier just to drink. I just have some unresolved issues, with a lot of people. And some other stuff too. I'm thinking these are my real problems, alcohol just covered it up. My mind is wondering if I can resolve these issues, whether I can drink like a normal person. Probably not. Then again I wonder if I'll ever resolve them. I just needed to post this, my mind is racing.

PurpleKnight

I'll not lie, it is easier to drink, if Sobriety was easy there would be no need for recovery websites!! But nothing that is worth it is easy in life, those are always the difficult things, but well worth the effort and hard work to achieve them!!

I tried to bargain with moderation for a long time, only to come back a failure, I had to accept that I could no longer have that first drink, I could no longer control alcohol, and so had to part ways!!

There will always be issues in life, even when Sober, ups and downs, Sobriety is possible throughout it all, there are people today dealing with grief, stress or problems, who don't drink or who have never drank, it therefore can be done!!

Dee74

I don;t think 31 days is enough to evaluate not drinking Mirage74.

What we both know is drinking doesn't help. And the drinking like a normal person bus has long since left the station, my friend....

And as much as I hold my mate PK in esteem I'm not sure I agree it's easier to drink.

When drinking solves nothing, when it doesn't make us feel better and makes our relationships with others even worse...it's not an easy option IMO

I think you also need to accept that stopping drinking, by itself, may not change very many of your problems, or affect too much of the trouble or strife in your life, particularly that caused by others...

What it will do is leave you more capable to sort out solutions for those problems.

It will help you make better decisions and lead you to more positive reactions to negative things.

All these things will happen...in time. Recovery is a process not an event.

Stick with it
D

Windancer

I second Dee! Stay strong....drinking will only worsen things, and you have already gone a month! That's great.

Faceless

Hi, Mirage. If you are correct in that alcohol isn't the problem and then choose to start back up, it will become the problem.

tomsteve

will it really be easier to drink? them unresolved issues will still be unresolved

are you still goin to AA?
working the steps?
heres alil what the BB sys on step 4:
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning,which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us.Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.

everything right there was very true for me. until I stopped pushing all the crap back inside, which never worked, and faced it, it was still going to be there.

newwestdork

Alcohol will likely prevent you from resolving whatever these issues are. Like you say, it just covers stuff up, it doesn't actually help. Don't give up on sobriety yet.

biminiblue

If you let your mind grab onto every thought that comes in, you are going to have a lot of stress.

Just let it go. It's done. Deal with the right now. Detach from the people who continue to bring you stress and/or pain.

You've stopped and started how many times? Make this the last, and find a way to cope like all of us have to do. We all have stuff we have to deal with - some more than yours and some less.

ScottFromWI

It's your addiction wondering this, not your rational mind. You know you can't drink like a normal person...you've proven that to yourself many times over.

Drinking now would be a mistake, plain and simple.

jdooner

Took me 5 months to start doing some real work and 9 months for the deep surgery to begin. I could not imagine accomplishing what you intend to in 31 days. Be like running a marathon in and hour, just not possible.

How about reevaluating the expectations?

Your doing great and would only be shortchanging yourself.

Hawkeye13

This was my experience as well.

Give it more time and I think you will be glad you did

NightsWatch

I think continuing to drink is the easier way, easier in the sense that it doesn't require you to change. For most of us, developing a dependency didn't require much effort. No one had to work at being an alcoholic.

There were times in the past when I despaired being able to stop and in those moments, I had similar thoughts to those in the OP, but then almost immediately, I felt like doing so would be like giving up; I felt that I would be taking the coward's way. As I progressed in my journey, I learned to remind myself during those dark moments, of all the accomplishments in my life, all of which I earned through hard work. None of them came easily. Then I would tell myself that if I was able to do all those things, then I can do this. I am stronger than I gave myself credit for. You are too.

Sudz No More

Yep, sometimes sobriety appears to suck but not as much as stinking drunk ever. You will be reminded of this the morning after you decide to drink again. Don't set yourself up to regret, give yourself a reason to feel proud of how strong you were and stayed sober. You'll be happy you did, being drunk and it's after effects suck the most of all.

fini

and the point of again covering up what you think are your real problems would be to....to what?

i understand the thinking, Mirage.
what i mean by that is that i used to have thoughts down the same line, eventually ending up in the idea that i couldn't quit until i understood exactly all the underlying reasons i drank.
all BS.
all cleverly designed by alcoholic mind to allow for continued drinking.

a person who's got some unresolved issues, with a lot of people. And some other stuff too. (which is just life for most of us, alcoholic or not) and can and does drink normally isn't on a recovery site wondering if resolving some issues will allow them to drink normally.

what do you think it gives you that you want to hang on so tightly?

congratulations on your sober month, Mirage.
your mind's leading you in circles right now. don't pay it any heed. go do something positive, some physical action-type thing and give that brain a rest. a chance to reset.

aborkie

You will better resolve your issues with a clear head. If you're trying to take your mind off things, don't do it with alcohol.

polaris

No matter how many issues you may have, alcohol will not bring you any closer to solving them - you know that as well as the rest of us.

blackjay

Here's another thing to consider, even if a certain issue isn't about your drinking, I have found that as long as I am still drinking the people around me will throw the fact that I drink in my face, whether I am right or not. I felt like as long as I was drinking, any point I tried to make was undermined and I was easily allowed myself to feel guilty or in the wrong, even when it started out about something else. For example, I found out something very upsetting that my husband had done. Instead of dealing with it calmly, I got drunk. I was right to be angry, but destroyed my credibility when I got drunk and the fight became about my drinking instead of what he did wrong. There are countless examples I've seen here and on other forums where alcoholics have tried to do the right thing or were in the right about a problem unrelated to drinking, only to be shot down because they aren't trusted or respected due to their drinking.

EndGameNYC

This is, at bottom, an existential issue, and not a choice about a single event, situation or lifestyle that appears easier than otherwise.

You're staring into the abyss, and deciding that it's easier to be swallowed up by it than to confront the struggles that come with living an authentic and meaningful life. When all others give up on us, the only one left is me. Life is hard.

The consequences of throwing away my life are not the stuff of mere philosophical whimsy, but the reality of the choices I make. And there are always consequences. The horror stories that describe my active alcoholism are not written on the pages of a work of fiction; they are what my life once was and would continue to be, but only until the stories described a life empty even of emptiness.

When in doubt, always do what's hardest. The more difficult path is invariably the best.

silentrun

Ahh the brain spins. It seems to get worse right at those milestones. You have made the right decision in quitting. Don't ever doubt that. It can suck sometimes. Some physical exertion seemed to help and talking it out. Maybe you decide to go see a doctor if it gets bad enough but one thing you will not do is turn back by using again right? Keep moving forward Mirage.

Ken33xx

Only you can answer that.

But my guess is the problem wont go away.