CaptainWhip

Well today was better. I was able to open up to a friend and he was really understanding. I was a bit apprehensive at first but once I got talking it felt good to share my feelings. He also was able to relate about an issue he had in the past. Overall a really helpful experience.

Now I just have to get past Friday night...

Thepatman

Well done! Stay close to SR if this get difficult tonight, we will be here.

Proud of you, really am

RecklessEric

Stop the drinking.
Take the benzos for 5 days and you should be in the clear, withdrawal wise.
Then it's time to make a plan to help you stay sober.

CaptainWhip

I'm sorry. I gave in. Was going round in circles. Should I / shouldn't I? Wanted to distract myself on here but didn't know what to do or say. It was like I was on auto pilot. Just went and got my stuff.

Feeling good drinking now but tomorrow I will hate myself.

Dee74

It's a truism that nothing changes of nothing changes.

There's no pain free way to approach detox - you just have to be prepared to not feel very well for a while.

If that's difficult for you, then I really suggest you see a Dr for help and honesty explain the difficulty you're having right now?

Detox is really not beyond you Captain Whip

D

Cow

"Distraction" probable not enough to keep you from drink at this stage. I can relate. I Queen of the easy auto-pilot cave in. What you think it gonna take for you to find will or fortitude or whatever it is you need to say no during these time of Should I/Shouldn't I?

CaptainWhip

I wish i could get into the chat room and talk about my situation real time. But I've blown that, so here I am. All alone with nothing but a bottle to keep me company.

Cow

Boo Moo Moo.

You not answer my question.

PS. I never chat before, how you get kick out of chat?

Thepatman

Listen captainWhip I will try to put this another way.

Compare your life right now as a house. It's the house you lived in since your addiction started. You feel comfortable and used to the way the rooms are displayed etc.
However it was built on foundation with concrete that is contaminated, you have terminates infestation.

Can you just repaint the walls quickly? Change the curtains to a different colour? Replace the shingles?

No my friend. You need a bulldozer to put the hole thing down and rebuild a new house completely. Can you build the exact same house.? Nope my friend. Since your rebuilding why not change the house completely? Why not make the living room bigger, brighter, a place where you can relax, invite sober friends, meditate, read recovery books...

The house is your life, how willing are you to make the move and drive that bulldozer over it? Why not make you design plan ahead?

Rebuild you life house my friend. It's scary to let go of something we are so comfortable in, but everyone on SR that are succeeding will tell you that they had to make some pretty major changes in their lifestyle and way of thinking.

I took the time, I hope you take some as well to introspect on what I wrote and preferably write something plan oriented. You don't owe this to me, you do for yourself.

Put the bottle down, see your doctor, make a plan, and recovery won't seem so difficult once you have built your life house and sitting in your living room sipping your non-alcoholic drink of choice surrounded by sober loved ones that are proud of you.

Find the emotion that will get you moving. Mine was anger at the bottle that was killing me.

And so it is

CaptainWhip

Thanks for the analogy and advice Thepatman. I'm going to make a plan today and see a doctor this week. I can't carry on living like this.

Thepatman

You are welcome my friend. I have no doubt in my mind that you will pull trough.

You deserve to be the person you really are, and be happy in life. It's way to short to let it pass you by.

The bottle can't decide, you can choose. keep writing on SR and PM me anytime if you need anything.

Anna

I hope you make the changes you need to make in order to stay sober.

What can you do differently this time?

CaptainWhip

So I sat down today to evaluate my life. Made a list of all the things I need to do to get my life in order. It was daunting. So many things, stuff i had forgotten about. I've been burying my head in the sand and am continuing to do so. I need to send an email to someone and I can't even think straight enough to write it properly. I've got Job Seekers tasks to do and am behind and putting them off.

And then there's all the promises I made to people that I haven't kept. I've been going out of my way to avoid friends and family because I don't want them to see me like this this.

PurpleKnight

It's good to have a list, but don't burden yourself too much, there's plenty of time to get around to things, the important thing is Sobriety at the moment!!

I also had a list when I got Sober, it seems other parts of life are put on hold for our addictions!!

CaptainWhip

I need to stay sober to complete my tasks. They are important and affect my life. I have to keep telling myself that.

Sudz No More

The easiest thing you'll ever do is let the auto pilot guide you. Been there many times before Captain. I know the feeling all too well, that comfort zone staring at you from the back of your mind. Like an easy chair and a book you love, just waiting for you to plop down in it and open the dog eared book and forget about life for a while. It's a happy place you know and love and it's not easy to give it up.

Sometimes necessary change is uncomfortable but just has to be done. You just have to drown out those mental impulses long enough to get some strength and resolve to it. We all know it is hard, most of us here have been right where you are. Try try again.

ScottFromWI

Start with small tasks, and do them one at a time. They add up over time and you'll be amazed at how much you can accomplish when the alcohol is out of the picture.

CaptainWhip

Ignore

CaptainWhip

What question do you mean? I cant' fully remember what happened in chat, apparently I offended people. No second chance I was out. Can't say any more than that.

Dee74

Please heed the rules.

PMs are great for non public discussions.

Thanks

Dee
Moderator
SR