karate

Old drinking friend ,he quit a year ago .

About an 18 pack a day ,He is doing real well .

We talked ,today about alochol and he of being powerless .

He said somhing that really made sense .

"We are not powerless if we never drink the first one"

Not saying anyhing bad about AA , but country people just do things diffrent .

Living in he country ,farming . -it gives you a mindset you have to do everything yourself .

Many jobs are done on the farm where two people would be easy , but you do what you have to , the job must be done .

Karma2014

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol. That our lives had become unmanageable.

You know how long it took me to wrap my mind around that simple statement?

I spent 8 1/2 years sober without AA. Never went to one meeting. My opinion was also, "If I don't drink, I have the power over alcohol, not the other way around"

I pumped up my ego and my pride during those 8 1/2 years of staying "sober" on my own will power.

Then I relapsed. Hard. In a year and a half of binging I lost almost everything that was dear to me. I'm 8 months sober now but it's not an easy task cleaning up the wreckage caused by that relapse.

I started going to AA this time around, at the urging of a person who I was very close to. A person who was/is also an alcoholic.

I had real trouble with the powerlessness thing. Until I started looking at it a different way. I had to admit I was powerless over alcohol, when I consumed it. After I realized that was indeed a fact, that I had no control over alcohol after I drank it, it was a simple thing to admit to powerlessness.

I have found AA to be a huge benefit for me, I accept the program. I now want and need to go to meetings. It is a great support system for me.

Thanks!

Scott

freshstart57

Karate, I am sorta with your friend on this one. I am sure that if I were to get into the scotch, I would be deep into it in no time at all. But that will never happen, simply because I say so. Nothing can make me drink ever again. I will never take that first drink. And that pretty much takes care of sobriety right there, I can't get drunk without consuming alcohol. Now, let's get doing things that fill my days, my spirit and my heart.

It's not a question of willpower anymore than me abstaining from any other immoral act requires willpower. For me, it is definitely a matter of pride, a pride in myself I never had while drinking. There was shame, and guilt, and anger and depression and anxiety. A lot of shame. But no longer. I have regained my self respect, my pride in myself, and I will not give that up to alcohol ever again.

CAPTAINZING2000

Grats on a year

robgt350

one year that is great.
i am 17 months sober, i started AA but stopped after about 2 weeks.
i am not powerless.

Michael66

Some days I had to lean on God. That is what 'powerless' meant to me (as another non-AA person, though with a lot of respect for AA).

If what you're doing is working then I'd say stick with it Karate. If you find it stops working then don't be afraid to try something different, even AA.

God bless,

Michael

yeahgr8

AA powerless over alcohol means that you cannot consistently go out and limit your drinking. So if you never have that first drink you aren't powerless anymore.

As for the country analogy I know a lot of real country people like you do and you are right they try to get things done by themselves not asking for outside help which is great if you are fixing a fence or knocking down a wall, but I wouldn't recommend it for alcoholism.

jdooner

A year later and 1,100 posts and doing things yourself has not worked yet. Maybe if you give it anger year things will be different, lol? I will say country people are stubborn. Good luck Karate.

karate

AA is a great program, a low cost group therapy of sorts .

I have several good friends in the program .

So I hope no one here thought I was disrespecting AA

What the basic idea my friend was relating was we do have power over the first drink .
The first drink is a choice , after that it may not be .

I feel much better in the mornings now .

It's amazing how 4-6 beers a day effect a person all day .

It seems to take several days to get it out of your system
To return to mental clarity .

My friend says he is still improving , a year later .

I'm really looking forward to the future now , with increased energy and motivation .

As soon as this cold lets up a little bit more , I'm going to start working out again .

Kaneda8888

Man takes drink
Drink takes drink
Drink takes Man
-- Japanese proverb

huntingtontx

Hi Karate. I get what you are saying. That is why I say, I will not take the first drink. NO MATTER WHAT! I know if I take the first drink I will be powerless. I get that. I can do this, one day at a time. You can too. I believe in you. I am glad you posted.

karate

Your last paragraph sums up how I feel also

nomis

Thanks for clearing that up Karate, cause I did feel that you were kinda dissing AA in the OP. I'm a year and a half sober myself, without the help of AA. However, I would never knock it as it has clearly helped a lot of people, many here on this board, I've just found a different route for myself.

Recovery isn't a competition, the end goal is the same for all us: sobriety. Well anyways, congrats on your week+, hopefully you've found what works for you.

RobbyRobot

Feelings are powerful motivators to be sure of course. They become less so as circumstances and early emotions for quitting become more something that happened then urgencies in the present moments. Creating a lifestyle based on "feeling better" in itself is likely to become addictive in its own right when sought after as a replacement for "feeling bad".

Feelings are best experienced in real time. Less so in past times but doable if resentments don't cloud the experiences. And impossible for future times. Since sustaining a sobriety or abstinence inherently speaks to a future, and speaks of a past, and is experienced in present time, feelings themselves are limited as foundational motivators, and are best used as simply what they are: feelings felt in real time.

People drink alcohol for effect. Abusers drink alcohol for effect too. The differences between the two types can often become unimportant when one decides feeling good is paramount to feeling bad... and they reach for that drink yet again.

Raider

I am pleased there are people who can say they will never, ever, ever, drink again. I can't say that with any conviction. I'm afraid to say that. I hate eating crow. Pfffftttt!!!! The powerless quote of not drinking the first one, is not confined to a farm. It is a powerful, simplistic, statement. A statement I play in my head everyday, multiple times. Good luck.

EndGameNYC

Nothing new here. This is taken directly from the AA Big Book.

It's the first drink that triggers the phenomenon of craving which, in turn, leaves us powerless against the next or the next one hundred drinks.

youbetcha

I tried every control technique I knew to stop taking the "first" drink, but in that area I finally realized I was powerless. That was the turning point for me.

karate

I think that's what I'm going with as well

Just don't start drinking

Holli

I am really such a noob on these things, but this is the first that I get the "powerless" thing -- I have power not to take the first drink, and once I do, I give up my power. Twelve step #1. The Japanese proverb: man takes drink, drink takes drink, drink takes man. It's all sort of the same thing. As Oprah would say: aha!

soberlicious

Yeah...no, not really. The act of overcoming hardship, even complete devastation, cuts across cultures and time. People have been accomplishing hard things since the beginning of time. People have been quitting drinking without a formalized program since then too.