dSober

Glad to hear you're doing better Karate. I've smoked cigarettes since I was a teenager (a loooonnnnngggg time ago, I'm 57 now). Even though smoking killed my wife, and my mother, a couple years ago, I'm not even considering dealing with that addiction right now. I'm only a few months sober and I just don't need the additional stress right now.
IMHO alcohol is WAY more destructive. First things first.

dSober

I know you mean well jdooner. Been to a lot of meetings and know a lot of "old timers" and others with lots of different approaches. Had sponsors who were too tough and those who not tough enough, IMHO. I love them all.

Weaver

I am glad you were able to grow some thicker skin and come back. This place really is awesome!

karate

Everyone here has a unique personality ,And those personalities at times clash .

Don't sweat the small stuff .

Im still not drinking , but ill be darned if I know how many days this is .

Not that it really matters ,anyway .

soberlicious

"I'm still not drinking" suggests a transient state. When I decided to redefine myself as a nondrinker, I didn't wrestle with whether to drink in times of crisis or stress because it's not something I do. Ever.

It's the "on the wagon" mentality. Being on suggests I can also get off. Get rid of the wagon dude...eventually it's like a bad carnival ride.

dSober

Yes, I agree, I'm glad we were.

dSober

I think making a decision is great for those who feel they can. But there are others who believes the AA wisdom of "one day at a time". I believe "whatever works".

Cascabel

I quit Copenhagen in 1990 after 25 years of using it. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. Quitting alcohol was like quitting broccoli compared with quitting "snoose". Get done with drinking first then worry about Copenhagen; doing both at the same time is a recipe for failure at both. BTDT (been there, done that). You have my best wishes. :<)

RobbyRobot

For me the "one day at a time" philosophy is more about how we live our lives out then how we might choose to remain sober. Sobriety is still a choice made in or out of AA, and so is living life a day at a time, no?

Struggling with opportunities for future drinkings is not a mark of sobriety, but more an indication of addiction ambivalence, imo. As Soberlicious stated, Karate would do well do not set things up with a mindset of "not yet drinking."

For the record here, Karate doesn't do AA program. I do AA, and I don't struggle with sobriety. I do have my own share of struggles with living life, but there is more to life then sobriety. In the early years in can seem sobriety is everything, and as the years go on, sobriety takes its rightful place IN life and not so much life ITSELF.

This is my experience.

karate

I suspect quitting is different for everyone ,what is odd id I did not go to a miserable existence this time .

I just picked a day and thought I would quit .

I have been thinking I would feel a bit better without drinking , the consumption
I was at was 6 regular beers or less most days .

I had progressed to not drinking all day when I was off , quit that several days before I decided to totally quit .

Im not having much trouble staying away from beer -EXCEPT right after work .
I always got a 24 oz keystone for the ride home .

That's really the only time I have a craving for a beer ,once I get home im fine .

I don't think much about it during the day ,And when im home the craving part is over .

I don't sit around and crave a beer ,or think "I should go get beer ".

I did think this evening working around the farm " Huh this is odd ,im working on the farm without a buzz "

The getting in the car after work and not stopping I will admit is a little bit of the hard part to get through .

They do sell beer everywhere where I live ,including where I buy diesel for my tractors .
I can literally drive a tractor to get beer .

Passing my favorite beer store ,by where I work ,now that's tough .

dSober

One day at a time was all I could even attempt to handle as a newcomer.

dSober

I suspect you're right. I also believe the more days you stack up, the better things get and that every drink sets you back and sets you up for more pain.

izzy8

Makes sense to me that you would try one at a time. I read thru some of the posts here. And I respect you for continuing to share -your good days and your bad. If I'd been sharing for the last few years, I'd look like a real roller coaster. I do hope that now, I'm really ready. I want to quit. But addiction plays with your mind, in a big way. Each day I almost convince myself that it's OK, no big deal, a needed "reward" to have my "fix". And it is by the grace of God that I am on day 6- yes only 6 of sobriety. Sure, it's a choice but a really hard one to make and I humbly (bc I know I can't on my own, I've tried)- ask God to help me when the time to make that choice comes. I hope you find the help you need, too.

dSober

Good word izzy8: "humbly". "I humbly offered myself to my Maker, then I knew".
Addiction brought me to my knees to. I had to get humble to survive.

karate

I'll have to say quitting drinking has been one of the best decisions I have made in a while .

I'm on the longest time sober , for a couple years .

Mental clarity , and ambition is coming back

dSober

It only gets better karate!

tomsteve

im confused:
"Im not having much trouble staying away from beer -EXCEPT right after work."
then this:
"I did think this evening working around the farm " Huh this is odd ,im working on the farm without a buzz"
it reads like the trouble isn't only after work as you say you've worked on the farm while buzzed.
along with what soberlicious said about the wagon, it can also be about being on the fence.

huntingtontx

Hi Karate. You are doing great. I am really proud of you. I have watched you for a while, and I know your heart is in the right place. Being sober only gets better. Every month is better then the month before. I rarely think of a drink except when I come here, and then it is not wanting one, but wanting to help others get off alcohol. Hang in there buddy. You got this.

dSober

Yeah, me too. Kinda like this:



Eventually though, I got tired of the ride and got off.

soberlicious

Dsober, I believe anyone is capable of quitting for good if they so choose. Please don't confuse being capable of doing something with it being easy.

Karate, I lost my beloved grandmother at 97. She was an amazing woman. She weathered so much in life, gracefully. Times of war, the years of the Great Depression, births, deaths...I like to think I'm honoring her memory and all that she gave to me by being a strong woman, one who faces life's challenges clearly and fearlessly, without hiding behind a high of any kind. While hard, the more I do it, the stronger I become. The sharp edges in life show me what I'm made of, they let me know I'm alive. Don't miss out on that for even one more day. It's a waste.