roguedreams

So I didn't jump out of bed this morning (errrm, afternoon) proclaiming that I wouldn't drink today. I didn't say, "I'm never having a drink again!" I just... passed by that option for the first drink. And the next option for the first drink. And the next, and the next... and now I'm nigh 22 hours in.

After having ten+ shots and several mixed drinks in an average evening/night (over the course of about twelve hours each day/night, I'd say), I thought I'd be feeling worse than this. I think my only real problem right now is paranoia, lol.

- I'm paranoid that I'll have a seizure in my sleep. Ergo I'm afraid to go to bed.

- I was a little shaky this morning but it cleared after water and a nap.

- Definitely been foggy, nervous, jumpy. Easily startled. Can't really clear my head.

- Feeling guilty for not drinking?

- Wondering if I should call a detox center just in case? Or should I just go to sleep? I don't really have any symptoms except a surreal feeling (as in, I forgot how lovely it feels to be sober? Or maybe I'm still drunk? Huh? type thing) and my stomach feeling a little like - am I hungry? Am I full? What am I right now? My hands are a little shaky but I'd definitely say I'm functional.

I read somewhere on here that it's after the first 24 hours sometimes that symptoms of alcohol withdrawal really kick in. But my 24 hours won't be until 4am, at which point I'll be asleep ... hopefully, lol. Should I be worried? Not asking medical advice, just airing my paranoia and wondering if anybody had any words to share.

neferkamichael

Roguedreams, 22 hours is FANTASTIC, congratulations, rootin for ya. :eypt:

newman23

Congrats on 22 hours! I would definitely consult your doctor if possible, or be evaluated by a detox center if you're concerned about withdrawal just to be as safe as possible. Hang in there, though. I remember when, for me, 24 hours was impossible. I know what you mean about the brain fog too. I usually get that for a day or so after drinking when its noticeable. Any plans though, like outpatient, inpatient, AA, or thoughts toward a recovery program?

Dee74

Hi Roguedreams

Some people have a rough time and others don't...none of us are doctors here...so the best I can give you is a who knows, I'm afraid ....

if you feel hungry eat...if you feel sleepy sleep...if you feel really concerned, you can always go to the ER

D

roguedreams

Thank you newman23! I don't want to be the fool who has little-to-no symptoms, calling the detox center at 2:15am, lol. I'm hanging!

As far as plans go, I've been looking and looking for an AA group in my area that has open meetings. From what I've found online, the site I accessed lists so many of them as "closed" so I think it's an old site, but it was through the official AA site for Dallas, so I'm a bit confused.

I've considered outpatient, therapy, etc., as I have a concurrent issue with eating disorders that has reared its ugly head lately. I'm definitely going to seek some kind of treatment for that, and be honest with my team regarding my struggles with alcohol.

I guess so far my only tangible plan is to stick to these forums and not lurk (I've thrived on secrecy in the past). I'm taking it one day at a time and not putting extreme pressure on myself to be the perfect recoveree, so to speak.

newman23

Yeah I know exactly what you mean about not wanting to call with no little to no symptoms lol. I shared the same feeling. You can definitely attend closed AA meetings. Those are for people who want to stop drinking, and "closed" to visitors, students, or others who do not have a problem with alcohol.

The forum is a great place for support too, and good starting point. I know that typing out my problems here and getting feedback anytime of day to be very helpful for me. Even at 2am

IOAA2

Hi. As Newman said closed meetings are for us people who think we have an alcohol problem also. In a place like around Dallas there are probably meetings 24 hours a day and would be a place to find a good number to be comfortable at.
As stated above we react differently to withdrawal but it's suggested to get medical attention especially if large amounts of alcohol has been part of our daily pattern.

BE WELL

jdooner

Congrats on 22hrs. Sending positive energy your way. You jumped out at me as someone who can really do this. Believe in yourself. It sounds like its the right time for you. Closed meetings are for us. Open is for non alcoholics. So go to a closed meeting. Go to a beginner meetings and collect your chip too - it helps.

I found day 2-3 to be tougher than day 1. Consult you doc, might not be bad to let them know what your doing.

Hang in there...I could not sleep for first week. I would doze off as exhaustion would hit.

IOAA2

A small correction. Open meetings are for ALL, alcoholics, those exploring, and those "normals" just looking in.

BE WELL

bigsombrero

Good morning! I hope you wake up this morning with some additional sober hours under your belt, and a fresh plan with how to get through the day. Good luck with the next 24 hours.

roguedreams

Still sober!! Probably only got about four hours of sleep. (YAWN)

Thank you to everyone for clearing up the "closed" meeting deal, haha! I'm obviously a soob ... sobriety noob, haha. And yes I totally just made that up lol.

I'll be back to post more on here later this afternoon, just wanted to check in and thank everybody for their kind replies and say I'm doing well. A bit achy and tired-but-wired. Going to RE-research meetings, lol, grab some Starbucks and make a game plan, primarily for work tonight (about which I'll post more here later!).

Xoxoxo to all, hope everyone's day is a GREAT one!!

neferkamichael

Roguedreams, still sober is FANTASTIC, still rootin for ya.

LBrain

Roguedreams, great to hear you're still sober! Welcome. A closed meeting is usually best for a newcomer anyway. But I have found that even at 'open' meetings around here there are rarely if ever 'just onlookers'. I recall talking to a church deacon at a meeting who attended several different meetings as part of his "training".
No worries regardless of meeting type.

roguedreams

I WENT TO MY FIRST MEETING!!!

I'm not sure I'm 100% into the idea of going the AA route but the support helps and it is something to do!

Got a temporary sponsor and some phone numbers of some of the women there. It was good to go.

My detox appears to be "normal" (?) - I'm waiting for the delayed onslaught, lol. Continued fogginess and fluttery feeling, sawdusty mouth, sense of something missing ... but overall feel pretty "normal" otherwise.

Nervous about work tonight. I'm a dancer - always have drank at work. Wish me luck! One day under my belt, one chip at my first AA meeting, and now to just get one shift in. That should increase my confidence even more and help me keep going!

roguedreams

thank you SOOOO much for this. That one little sentence has stuck with me all day. I know I have people to support me, but the fact that utter strangers believe in me, see in me something positive perhaps that I'm not seeing, means so very very very much.

Tetra

Congratulations...well done

SoberLeigh

Congratulations, roguedreams, on 24+ hours. Keep up the great effort; we're rooting for you.

dsmaxis10

you can do it stay strong

roguedreams

Hey Soberly! I was trolling Cow's thread last night, I really love your posts. Greet to "meet" you!

feeling-good

What a great thread to read I am really glad you got to a meeting - even if AA is not the way you go in the end, it is really really helpful in the early days! I really hope work goes as well as it can for you