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Don't know if I can do this anymore

Old 11-10-2013, 10:29 PM
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Don't know if I can do this anymore

Well, I've been sober for over 3 months, and I'm missing alcohol more than ever. I don't know how much more of this I can take. It's exhausting fighting this feeling everyday. In the very beginning of my sobriety, I was in therapy for a couple of weeks, and I thought I would become more social and outgoing, but instead I'm becoming much more antisocial. The other thing is I'm bored all the time that I'm not "busy". I haven't bought a bottle, so don't worry... I'm just grumpy and getting my feelings out... And by the way, I have my times when I'm happy for myself that I'm sober... today is just not one of them..
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Old 11-10-2013, 10:49 PM
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Hi jm

I realise you're venting, but I wonder what have you done besides not drinking?

I ask because I found that when I took drinking out of my life I didn't have much left - and as strange as it sounds, it took me over three months to realise that, and to realise that if I wanted more from life it was up to me to go out and make that happen.

If I was bored I needed to find things to excite and interest me; if I was antisocial I needed to find ways to make myself get out of the house and go meet people in ways that wouldn't compromise my recovery...(volunteering was great for that for me but coffee dates and movie dates with friends, and team sports would work too)

If therapy helped before, maybe a little more therapy may help again?

And a gratitude journal helped me not get too negative or grumpy...although I still had my days too

Stick with it...90 days can be particularly hard because it's long enough for us to start to forget the bad times of our drinking, but often may be a little too soon for our new life to have kicked in...

have faith - you're on the right path

D
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:17 PM
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Having to deal with real thoughts, feelings, boredom...all of this without drinking or using to cover up all of those feelings. Learning to deal with this takes time, but it will make your life so much happier and easier.
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:19 PM
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Hi Dee. Well, besides not drinking, I stay pretty busy with work, and I get the right amount of sleep usually. When I am off work and have time to go out or go home, I really haven't found anything that has filled the position alcohol used to fill. So I tend to be bored a lot of times. Like I was saying, I feel very antisocial. I just don't feel "interested" in meeting with people. It's like I don't have the energy too. I have been able to stay sober, but it's been easier to do just being alone lol
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:22 PM
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See if this rings any bells -

PAWS | Digital Dharma

if it does, the link has some great suggestions for how to deal with it

D
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:25 PM
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Agree with Dee. Boredom comes from the fact that the only thing you did before quitting drinking was drinking, take that away and many of us "drinkers" have nothing left. The answer isnt to drink more, but to try and claw back the lives we should of had and fill the void with things to do.
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Old 11-10-2013, 11:28 PM
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Thanks for your post JM. I've only been at this for a few days, but I'm grateful for the insight and experience of people who are further along in this process. Boredom is a trigger for me also and at this point, being social is what is keeping me from being bored. So I can imagine how difficult it would be if I were feeling bored and antisocial. Hang in there.
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Old 11-11-2013, 03:17 AM
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I am at 106 days sober and my cravings have been worse over the last few weeks compared to the last 3 months.

It isn't the actual craving for alcohol; it is as if I want to have one drink just to prove I am "cured" and can live a normal life with moderate alcohol use. I hated when alcohol controlled my life and I guess I don't want sobriety to control my life either.

I just take it one day at a time....hopefully this feeling will fade.
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:29 AM
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I'm basing my response on the title of this thread.

Nope, you probably can't "do this" anymore...feel isolated and bored all the time. Sounds crappy.

But I doubt drinking is a viable solution. It wasn't for me (and most of the people who hang out here)

Once I got out of my booze/drug induced fog I realized there are more than two options in life...to drink or not to drink. There are about a billion other things I can do as well.

At first I had to make a point of reminding myself of that (notes around the house, reading recovery literature, coming here) and make an effort to do some of those other things and find some that I enjoyed...so they became self motivating.

I find myself stuck in ruts of thinking and doing even after some length of sober time, and I have to shake things up, keep life interesting. I have learned that people who never drank experience this too, it's part of life.
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Old 11-11-2013, 05:14 AM
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Originally Posted by Threshold View Post
Once I got out of my booze/drug induced fog I realized there are more than two options in life...to drink or not to drink.

This reminds me of a tip I am using to stay sober.

If I think about drinking I ask myself "would being buzzed right now make what I am doing a better experience?"

So far it has worked 100% of the time.
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