Starshadow

Hello everyone. I've been a long time lurker here. I'm a 38yo male and have been an alcoholic for almost 10 years. I've quit for a few months here and there over the years, start/stop/repeat, and just recently had a week of being sober under my belt.

Well, I blew that today due to <insert excuse here>

Now I am freaking out cause I'm afraid that I am going to go thru withdrawal again.

I dont want to go into a long history right now, but my drink of choice is brandy, and I usually would go thru nearly a 5th a day for 3-4, sometimes 5 days a week. Before this last week of not drinking, I was at about a 5th a night 3 days a week for about 3 weeks.

Well, today I drank a little over a half of a 5th, and I really totally regret it.. now that it's too late. I cant believe a threw a week of being sober out the window. Again. Now I'm starting to get paranoid that I'm going to have to go thru withdrawal all over again! I've never worried about it before, but for whatever reason I am now.

I've luckily never had DT's or seizures, but the normal trembles/shakes, heart racing, sweats, itchiness and whack-o dreams.

Even after the "little" amount I drank, do you think I'm gonna have withdrawals again? Just a bad hangover? Hell, I dunno if anyone can even answer this stuff. I have Ativan and have used it in the past to ward off symptoms, but I have never used it while drinking ever, only during withdrawal and panic attacks.

Anyways, sorry for the long post, I just dunno what to think, and it doesn't help that I'm a paranoid person to begin with.

Thanks for reading.

CharlieNoogan

Welcome to SR Starshadow! We're glad you've found us.

Unfortunately no one here can predict if you will experience withdrawals again. I would recommend a visit to your doctor where you are honest about your drinking history, your desire to quit, and your concerns about withdrawals. Together, you can come up with a solid plan to begin your recovery safely. I never had DT's or seizures either, until one day when I did. There is really no telling when it could happen. Better to play it safe.

Again, welcome to SR! You will find a lot of experience, strength, and hope on these boards. Good luck my friend!

zjw

I cant speak for how bad your withdrawels will or wont be but hang in there and your making a good choice to come here for some help. Just take it a day at a time and sober up its a tough road ahead but just worry about the steps you have to take dont worry about the long road. hang in there.

zjw

oh and BTW freaking out about it will only make it worse. Just try and relax remain calm and happy your making a good choice.

Starshadow

Thanks Charlie and zjw

I know it was kinda a crazy/stupid question. I dunno. I'm just so upset with myself for falling again. It sucks.

I thought I had it this time... even if it had only been a week. I guess a week is weak, eh?

EndGameNYC

A week is seven days removed from your personal hell. The good news is, you only need seven days to get seven days again.

babycat

This is by no means medical advice, just my thoughts. If I had to guess, you should be ok as far as withdrawals. I say this just because the alcohol has been out of your system so you have not been physically dependent on it for a bit now.
But it is always good to see a doc if you have concerns. And like another poster said, try to remain calm. Half the time, it is in our heads.

CharlieNoogan

There are no crazy/stupid questions here. Don't beat yourself up too bad about the relapse. It's what we alcoholics do until we start working a solid recovery program.

Have you considered attending AA meetings for face-to-face support? I kept slipping too until I gave my addiction the one-two punch with AA and treatment.

A week is a great accomplishment. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep it up. You can do this.

bigsombrero

It sounds like you're ready to take the long view and start living sober. What are you going to do to get started? Sounds like your other methods haven't worked, it might be time to invest in a new set of sobriety tools.

artsoul

Welcome Starshadow!

Withdrawals can be unpredictable, so it's always best to see a doc if you're worried. I know you're feeling discouraged right now, but once you have another few sober days under your belt, it will be easier to get that momentum back.

Glad you've joined us - this is a great place to come for support! None of us can do this on our own.

zjw

your right a week is a week. I heard someone say once in reference to quiting smoking that you can never give up trying to quit because sooner or later its going to stick. I think the same holds true for quiting drinking or anything really. You cant allow a setback to throw you off course forever. Gotta get back up dust yourself off and try again. Sooner or later you'll get it. Beating yourself up over it wont help deciding its hopeless or whats the use wont help. But getting back up and trying again gives you another shot at it. Sooner or later it'll stick too.

Starshadow

Just wanted to say thanks again.

I'm doing ok, and realize this is just a bump in the road to recovery. I am determined to kick this horrible addiction to the curb.

I decided to come clean to my family, and was so relieved that they were supportive and understanding instead of judgmental. That helps soooooooo much.

This whole fight with alcohol tho is really quite odd. Alcohol seems to be such a big part of everyday life, from the constant bombardment of adds, to the ease of access. Yet when one becomes addicted, so many people are like clueless as to how/why. I envy those that can "have a good time", but I'll learn how to have fun without the beast. It'll just take time.