I can't believe I'm here
 

Hello,
I've been reading this forum for several weeks, and find it very inspirational.

My problem is that I seem to be more 'psychologically' addicted to alcohol than physically. I work in a creative field, and several people I know who are also creative (illustrators, cartoonists and writers) say they feel the way I do - that we're at our best when we've had some booze to unlock our creativity.

I'm 40. I used to write 10-15 articles a week for various publications, no problem. But about two years ago I began drinking more than I ever have. Maybe I'm just burnt out, but I find that booze helps me 'care' when I have to call people for interviews. Then a little more booze helps me write a great story. Now I feel blocked without it.

The combination of age and alcohol has led to a weight gain of approx. 25 pounds too. I hate it. Maybe I'm vain...?

I want to get back to the person I was three years ago. The one who could interview and write because I loved it. The one who was slim, happy and healthy.

The other problem is that I read about scary detox symptoms and it makes me afraid. I've gone dry for about five days at a time, with headaches and insomnia as the main symptom. But I get so scared of the other things that could happen that I am hyper-alert for anything that's slightly different...

I drink approx. 4-5 times a day - and i do mean during the day. I don't feel the need to drink at night. I work from home, so it's easy to drink while I work. I don't want to do it anymore.

Understand what you are saying...alcohol giving you a needed boost for creatvity etc...but sooner or later (at least from my experience) it won't have that needed effect for you & you may increase your intake in chasing the feeling you once got. Then it all goes out fo control from there...more intake, more health & memory issues, more out of control behavior...I have NEVER heard a happy ending to this kind of story...

Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you'll find this site as helpful as I have.
Keep reading and posting. You are not alone and things can and do get better.

I watched a BBC documentary which did endorse your point about alchohol unleashing creativity. But ONLY at very low levels, e.g a glass of wine. And I certainly wrote some dazzling essays for my English degree. BUT, again, only at a low level. If I wrote when I was drunk, I felt like I was a genius. However, when I would read them back the following day I wanted to die! And if you are an alcoholic like me, you can't stop at one drink. And alcoholism is a progressive condition - it always gets worse, you always need more and more.
At 40 you are still young. Plenty of time to get sober, and enjoy writing naturally. The block will soon go as you get healthier, and so will the extra weight.

Let's talk about de toxing....we have a sticky post on this forum
with info and some of our expereinces that you may have missed.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

Many people don't drink for various reasons and some are not alcoholics. However it's also true that alcohol damages many things
and that happens to non alcoholics as well.

All in all....once I got out of the drinking life....I sure
wish I had been that wise earlier...:)

Welcome ...:wave:

i can relate...i do digital design

Can I just say...
I'm crying right now because I feel like I found people who understand me. I get strength from this Web site, and now that I've put my own problem out there, I already feel better. I was ashamed to post, but now I'm so glad I did.

I've read the detox sticky/forums several times. Maybe I can read it again now with new perspective.

My writing/career has not been affected in terms of my clients. Well, that's not entirely true - my freelance went from feast to famine due to the declining print industry. I've secured new clients, but lost my confidence somewhere along the way! I realize that if I don't get my act together, I could lose these clients. I've been fortunate so far - they're all thrilled with my work (more than 4,000 articles to my name in the last nine years!). But I realize it only takes one drunken, slurry-voiced interview, or a missed deadline, to change the game.

sweepee.:wave:
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum

Congratulations on your 1 week sober
Early sobriety was difficult for me too...but it gets
way better rather quickly...:hug:

Sobriety is so worth fighting for. My dad was a writer, quite a successful one, and he never drank! You can do this. Don't let alcohol be your muse any more. Be inspired by nature, art, the human story...

Well here is a list of 15 greats and many died too early and many did not enjoy much at the end

Top 15 Great Alcoholic Writers

If you have detox symptoms best talk with a doctor. My experience is they never get better. I also found I can never recapture those "golden" moments of yesteryears drinking and I'd prefer to live sober than chase that dream