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Old 06-18-2012, 09:15 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Can an alcoholic work in a bar?

My brother was hospitalized due to having three seizures, and nearly dying due to his alcoholism. That was three weeks ago. I was with my brother and my parents last night where they were discussing a job opportunity they thought would be really good for him, being a bartender. My parents were also drinking scotch in front of him. I just dont know if this is normal or healthy. I find it odd that my parents are encouraging him to work as a bartender, considering everything that has happened and he has received no treatment. Is any of this healthy?
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:23 AM   #2 (permalink)
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IMO, just getting into recovery, NONE of it is healthy. it sounds like yer parents arent educated on the disease of alcoholism. you may want to get some literature for them to read so they can get a better understanding.

hang around the barbershop long enough and eventaully he'll get a haircut.
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:29 AM   #3 (permalink)
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IMO I would say it depends on the type of bar. For example, if it's a bar/restaurant type of place it might be okay. Especially if it's a chain restaurant where they usually don't allow drinking on the job or after work at the place. But if it's like the bars I use to drink in. The ones where beef jerkey and pretzels are the main food group then no. I guess the term is "dive bars".
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:31 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I know some who do...and kept drinking.
I know some who do..and do not drink.

Me? to protect my early fragile sobriety...i left my long time career
in the hospitality industry and took an office position.
So...I was one who did not stay sober while working with alcohol.

Sorry to know of this situation....hope your brother remains sober.
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Old 06-18-2012, 09:36 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I've heard lots of sayings in my time in AA - the one that comes to mind here "If you don't want to slip, stay out of slippery places"

I stayed well clear of anywhere there was drinking in my early recovery years. That being said, you can't force what you feel is right or wrong on anyone, especially a drunk. I know that from personal experience, and everyone that tried to 'make my life better'. The more they tried the more I rebelled and the more they got frustrated.
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:30 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Just passing by a bar is a trigger for me. I could only imagine working in one. I'm an alcoholic I think I would suck at my job if I worked in a bar. I remember going for a job interview at a big outlet liquor store. Thank God I was so hanged over the manager never hired me.
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Old 06-18-2012, 04:53 PM   #7 (permalink)
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If I was an alcoholic and and was a bartender I'd be fired in a week. The stress off a job is bad enough let alone working with your favorite vice.
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Old 06-19-2012, 11:38 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I was not a bartender but worked in a bar surrounded by alcohol in my control for years while in recovery.
The only thing I found hard was the smell. Disgusting.
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Old 06-19-2012, 11:43 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Not healthy. It sounds like your parents are in denial. Why would they drink in front of him? That's not right. A bar is the last place for a recovering alcoholic. Now that I'm 2 years sober, I can go in them but I don't want to. Sounds like the truth is wearing a veil here. Need more open communication. God bless you and your family.
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by albionel View Post
My brother was hospitalized due to having three seizures, and nearly dying due to his alcoholism. That was three weeks ago. I was with my brother and my parents last night where they were discussing a job opportunity they thought would be really good for him, being a bartender. My parents were also drinking scotch in front of him. I just dont know if this is normal or healthy. I find it odd that my parents are encouraging him to work as a bartender, considering everything that has happened and he has received no treatment. Is any of this healthy?
I'm sure your brother's AA sponsor will guide him wisely.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:41 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I don't really understand their way of thinking. What does your brother think about this? Is he serious about quitting alcohol? Has he been sober those three weeks? If yes, that is fantastic and I applaud him. Has he mentioned concerns over this new job? If he has concerns, then it most definitely is not the right place for him to work. Being constantly surrounded by alcohol could be a massive difficulty for him... or it may not. The only person who knows how he will react is himself, but even then he may think he can handle it when he might not be able to. In those early weeks it is best to avoid alcohol in every way possible.

Maybe you should direct your brother here? He may find that it helps him hugely.
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Old 06-19-2012, 03:40 PM   #12 (permalink)
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I once sponsored a man who was a professional barman.When he made amends to his ex employer they offered him his old job back,he took the job and has been sober for some years now.But......He was an active AA member who had worked the steps and was on firm spiritual ground.His main trouble came from dishonesty,they give the customer free drinks and big pours to enhance the tip they receive.He had to modify that behaviour as it started to bother his conscience.
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Old 06-19-2012, 08:29 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Not healthy. It sounds like your parents are in denial. Why would they drink in front of him? That's not right. A bar is the last place for a recovering alcoholic. Now that I'm 2 years sober, I can go in them but I don't want to. Sounds like the truth is wearing a veil here. Need more open communication. God bless you and your family.
Thank you so much for your response...May I ask you why you think it isn't right for my parents to drink in front of my brother? I am new to all of this...thanks again.
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Old 06-19-2012, 08:32 PM   #14 (permalink)
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temptation.
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Old 06-19-2012, 08:59 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by albionel View Post
My brother was hospitalized due to having three seizures, and nearly dying due to his alcoholism. That was three weeks ago. I was with my brother and my parents last night where they were discussing a job opportunity they thought would be really good for him, being a bartender. My parents were also drinking scotch in front of him. I just dont know if this is normal or healthy. I find it odd that my parents are encouraging him to work as a bartender, considering everything that has happened and he has received no treatment. Is any of this healthy?
Perhaps your parents have a different idea of what is and isn't alcoholism. You say your brother was hospitalized due to his 'alcoholism'... if this is a medical opinion offered by the doctors, then your parents are clearly out of touch with how to support your brother, and you, for that matter, since you sound really concerned.

Families having alcoholic challenges are usually dysfunctional, and it looks like there are some real mis-communications going on about what is what with drinking, if they are discussing this with a scotch in their hands.

Normal and healthy?

No, I don't think so, and apparently neither do you. I hope you, your brother, and your parents can come to more positive collective agreements on how best to support each other through the seriousness of your brother having seizures, which are apparently, alcoholic.

There is plenty of information and support on SR. Good to know your reaching out for better answers for your brother.
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