Big move - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Firehazard · 03-05-2012, 09:33 PM

Hi everyone,
Last October while living in Portland, Oregon I got my license back and shortly afterward a small pick up truck and insurance. Mostly due to sobriety and dilegent effort to pay off fines. I was thrilled and still am as not having transportantion for eight years is a HUGH obstacle. But with the help of my Higher Power and support from AA members I got through it smiling. Then my estranged father became ill after Christmas and was alone. So I desided to move to Kansas City to care for him and it was great as I got to know him a bit and thus fill in some blanks and erase some false beliefs about him that I
had. In the early part of June he past away I I witnessed his last breath. Since I had expected him not to pass away, irrational since he was 76 and in poor health, I signed a year lease which is up in May. The program, remaining grateful has alowed me to hang in a foriegn culture and in a hostile living situation while here. However, I have latched on to a group here that has helped deepen my conscious contact and my program has become very strong by dealing with adversity. The fact is I really do not enjoy it here and fit in back in the pacific NW but I have developed a sence of contentment with my spot and the people around me. As a former geographic alcoholic I have finally learned how to settle down and really have no healthy moving skills. Plus I do not know if Ican find the same quality of program as I have here. But I have changed and grown so much maybe this will go with me.
This helps to type this out and I have run it by some friends in my home group but could use as many opinions as I can get.

**Dee74** · 03-05-2012, 11:42 PM

I think this is a very individual decision Firehazard - but I hope you think it all out.
I wish you the best with whatever you decide.

I'm sorry for your loss.

D

TallWater · 03-06-2012, 01:56 AM

I grew up in the PNW, no place else feels like home, so I have some empathy.

sugarbear1 · 03-06-2012, 06:37 AM

Maybe it's just time for you to focus on the contentment, even though you want to move. When it's time for you to move again, that contentment can come with you, then you can bring your solid program with you and teach others.... just a thought to consider. Use your program tools and pray and meditate......

Again, just a thought, I have no experience to share on this. Even near me, I find each AA group to be different, some stronger than others, all in different stages of growth.... as we trudge (to walk with a purpose) this happy road to destiny....it's a life long endeavor!

Peace,

Firehazard · 03-07-2012, 07:40 AM

thanks contentment can come along with me you are right thanks. It is just such a foriegn state of mind that I feel it is a mystical thing attached to a particular spot.
After speaking with several people about posting my issue here the solution is becoming clear. My direction has to be my own as I can not expect others to hold my hand anymore in major decisions. Also I have a higher power now and I can use him by keeping my eyes and ears open for direction. From the more practical members I have been asked what are my plans are for the move and with that I do need to plan a route stopps and possible destination as well as certain lengths of stay in certain cities. My fears have no place here as it may be quite a adventure. There are AA halls all across the country and many friends I have not met there yet.

Firehazard · 03-14-2012, 08:41 AM

The days are getting crossed off and it looks as if May 1st will be the move

I am focusing on the promise of new connections , happy lifestyle, and

hopefully another obstacle in sobriety overcome to share. The uncertainty of

my former travels as a geographic drunk do not have to be revisited. I can

make a orderly plan for this move and with the more serinity granted today

maybe the more will come tomorrow. Plus I can hit one meeting a day on my

way.

During several meetings in the last month I have passed and

just looked at that sign that says Think Think Think and reinforced the

direction from the basic text that "The verdict of the ages is that faith in God

is courage." Still not sure where the actuall destination will be but if I keep

my eyes and ears open I will know.

Sapling · 03-14-2012, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Firehazard

During several meetings in the last month I have passed and just looked at that sign that says Think Think Think

We have that sign turned upside down in my homegroup....Enjoy your journey...

Firehazard · 03-25-2012, 06:12 PM

Well have been praying for guidance for my move and faithfully keeping my eyes open and today a signpost appeared. This person showed up out of the blue as a visitor from Minneapolis to my small group in KC. Minneapolis is where my first destination will be to reconnect with estranged family and to live in a culture that supports my lifestyle better. Don and I spoke briefly before the meeting as I greeted him? Coincidence ? not After the meeting we chatted as he left and I got his number. Of course I called and the information he gave me about AA in the Twin cities and other very important information really calmed my worries more. He knew much of the urban biking culture there and the neighborhoods I should look at.
I can bring the contentment and recovery I have found here with me now. I guess the only trick is keeping my eyes and ears open from here to there because with my past experiences with God Shots. It seems that when prayers are answered in this manner there are things that I am supposed to do and people I need to meet. Wow That third step keeps on getting stronger the more I trust. Dont really have to be in charge at all

Firehazard · 03-29-2012, 04:22 PM

Well it is official as of this week I took some action on the move beginning with a thirty day notice where I rent. I shed many a tear in this little two bedroom apt. and showed up in full morning mode dressed in black and even got a lip piecing at one point, it is now gone. The grieving process is a strange experience and very personal.

My fathers grave marker that I have not had installed yet has been in my living room with his glasses and watch on top. I will be closing this chapter as well before leaving by sending it to Pulaski county to his grave to be memorialized. His glasses will be dropped into the Missisippi River.

My service position and key to the meeting hall was turned in on Wednesday night after the meeting and it was tough as much growth has taken place in such a short amount of time here.
With my fathers passing in June and dealing with being in a culture of which I can not relate has been a trial. I passed and with much due to that small service position in the middle of the week. It was like a anchor and a safe place to give back and get out of myself. Hopefully other oportunities will open up in Minneapolis/Portland. Minneapolis alone has a Huge AA community.

**Dee74** · 03-29-2012, 04:26 PM

Have a good safe trip FH

D

03-05-2012, 09:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
Firehazard SHARING THE LOAD Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In the Slowlane Posts: 861	Big move Hi everyone, Last October while living in Portland, Oregon I got my license back and shortly afterward a small pick up truck and insurance. Mostly due to sobriety and dilegent effort to pay off fines. I was thrilled and still am as not having transportantion for eight years is a HUGH obstacle. But with the help of my Higher Power and support from AA members I got through it smiling. Then my estranged father became ill after Christmas and was alone. So I desided to move to Kansas City to care for him and it was great as I got to know him a bit and thus fill in some blanks and erase some false beliefs about him that I had. In the early part of June he past away I I witnessed his last breath. Since I had expected him not to pass away, irrational since he was 76 and in poor health, I signed a year lease which is up in May. The program, remaining grateful has alowed me to hang in a foriegn culture and in a hostile living situation while here. However, I have latched on to a group here that has helped deepen my conscious contact and my program has become very strong by dealing with adversity. The fact is I really do not enjoy it here and fit in back in the pacific NW but I have developed a sence of contentment with my spot and the people around me. As a former geographic alcoholic I have finally learned how to settle down and really have no healthy moving skills. Plus I do not know if Ican find the same quality of program as I have here. But I have changed and grown so much maybe this will go with me. This helps to type this out and I have run it by some friends in my home group but could use as many opinions as I can get. __________________ "The chains of alcohol are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken"

03-05-2012, 11:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,242	I think this is a very individual decision Firehazard - but I hope you think it all out. I wish you the best with whatever you decide. I'm sorry for your loss. D __________________

03-06-2012, 06:37 AM	#4 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,752	Maybe it's just time for you to focus on the contentment, even though you want to move. When it's time for you to move again, that contentment can come with you, then you can bring your solid program with you and teach others.... just a thought to consider. Use your program tools and pray and meditate...... Again, just a thought, I have no experience to share on this. Even near me, I find each AA group to be different, some stronger than others, all in different stages of growth.... as we trudge (to walk with a purpose) this happy road to destiny....it's a life long endeavor! Peace, __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

03-07-2012, 07:40 AM	#5 (permalink)
Firehazard SHARING THE LOAD Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In the Slowlane Posts: 861	thanks contentment can come along with me you are right thanks. It is just such a foriegn state of mind that I feel it is a mystical thing attached to a particular spot. After speaking with several people about posting my issue here the solution is becoming clear. My direction has to be my own as I can not expect others to hold my hand anymore in major decisions. Also I have a higher power now and I can use him by keeping my eyes and ears open for direction. From the more practical members I have been asked what are my plans are for the move and with that I do need to plan a route stopps and possible destination as well as certain lengths of stay in certain cities. My fears have no place here as it may be quite a adventure. There are AA halls all across the country and many friends I have not met there yet. __________________ "The chains of alcohol are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken"

03-14-2012, 08:41 AM	#6 (permalink)
Firehazard SHARING THE LOAD Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In the Slowlane Posts: 861	planning The days are getting crossed off and it looks as if May 1st will be the move I am focusing on the promise of new connections , happy lifestyle, and hopefully another obstacle in sobriety overcome to share. The uncertainty of my former travels as a geographic drunk do not have to be revisited. I can make a orderly plan for this move and with the more serinity granted today maybe the more will come tomorrow. Plus I can hit one meeting a day on my way. During several meetings in the last month I have passed and just looked at that sign that says Think Think Think and reinforced the direction from the basic text that "The verdict of the ages is that faith in God is courage." Still not sure where the actuall destination will be but if I keep my eyes and ears open I will know. __________________ "The chains of alcohol are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken"

03-06-2012, 01:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
TallWater Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 64	I grew up in the PNW, no place else feels like home, so I have some empathy.

03-25-2012, 06:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
Firehazard SHARING THE LOAD Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In the Slowlane Posts: 861	God works through people Well have been praying for guidance for my move and faithfully keeping my eyes open and today a signpost appeared. This person showed up out of the blue as a visitor from Minneapolis to my small group in KC. Minneapolis is where my first destination will be to reconnect with estranged family and to live in a culture that supports my lifestyle better. Don and I spoke briefly before the meeting as I greeted him? Coincidence ? not After the meeting we chatted as he left and I got his number. Of course I called and the information he gave me about AA in the Twin cities and other very important information really calmed my worries more. He knew much of the urban biking culture there and the neighborhoods I should look at. I can bring the contentment and recovery I have found here with me now. I guess the only trick is keeping my eyes and ears open from here to there because with my past experiences with God Shots. It seems that when prayers are answered in this manner there are things that I am supposed to do and people I need to meet. Wow That third step keeps on getting stronger the more I trust. Dont really have to be in charge at all __________________ "The chains of alcohol are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken"

03-29-2012, 04:22 PM	#9 (permalink)
Firehazard SHARING THE LOAD Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In the Slowlane Posts: 861	Waying anchor Well it is official as of this week I took some action on the move beginning with a thirty day notice where I rent. I shed many a tear in this little two bedroom apt. and showed up in full morning mode dressed in black and even got a lip piecing at one point, it is now gone. The grieving process is a strange experience and very personal. My fathers grave marker that I have not had installed yet has been in my living room with his glasses and watch on top. I will be closing this chapter as well before leaving by sending it to Pulaski county to his grave to be memorialized. His glasses will be dropped into the Missisippi River. My service position and key to the meeting hall was turned in on Wednesday night after the meeting and it was tough as much growth has taken place in such a short amount of time here. With my fathers passing in June and dealing with being in a culture of which I can not relate has been a trial. I passed and with much due to that small service position in the middle of the week. It was like a anchor and a safe place to give back and get out of myself. Hopefully other oportunities will open up in Minneapolis/Portland. Minneapolis alone has a Huge AA community. __________________ "The chains of alcohol are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken"

03-29-2012, 04:26 PM	#10 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,242	Have a good safe trip FH D __________________

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