Please help me
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: chesapeake city Md
Posts: 15
Granted i am new to this site but not new to sobriety. I agree with Mr david it is all about choices. I believe you can resist you just dont take the time or just are not willing to think about the consequences. You post day after day Have you tried to find a meeting ,counselor, talk to another recovering alcoholic? I by no means wantt to offend but Faith without works is dead. if you think you have a problem then make a decision and act on it. you can post all you want but unless you take action then nothing will change. I leave you with this What is the true definition of insanity? doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. again not trying to bash but sugarcoating things is not one of my strong points. just giving my 2 cents Thanks
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
Hi Alex, how are you going today?
It sounds like you're spiralling... please don't follow the stereotype for the sake of it
One day you'll stop posting here, and we'll never know why.
Get to a doctor, get to a counsellor, get to SOMEONE who can face to face with you. Talk to your college counsellors and get a sabbatical for one term, or perhaps the year - they are surprisingly obliging for people who are honest and in need of help. Maybe see if there's a facility you can check yourself into while you get through the first hard times.
I hope you change your habits with the pills, and I REALLY hope you see a doctor... but at the very least get straight long enough to see someone and defer your study for a term while you get sober. Sober and straight.
I've just gone and dug out my uni transcript - I can never show this to potential employers even though I got so many good grades. Here are the numbers:
4 High distinctions
16 Distinctions
5 Credits
2 withdraw
5 fails
4 fail level 1
1 fail level 2
So I basically failed 12 subjects out of a 24 subject degree... not bad eh? A three year degree that I started in 2002 and finished in 2010. (and for those playing along at home, yes I did somehow manage to do 1 extra course o_0)
Take the time away to get yourself sorted, come back and smash that degree
It sounds like you're spiralling... please don't follow the stereotype for the sake of it
One day you'll stop posting here, and we'll never know why. Get to a doctor, get to a counsellor, get to SOMEONE who can face to face with you. Talk to your college counsellors and get a sabbatical for one term, or perhaps the year - they are surprisingly obliging for people who are honest and in need of help. Maybe see if there's a facility you can check yourself into while you get through the first hard times.
I hope you change your habits with the pills, and I REALLY hope you see a doctor... but at the very least get straight long enough to see someone and defer your study for a term while you get sober. Sober and straight.
I've just gone and dug out my uni transcript - I can never show this to potential employers even though I got so many good grades. Here are the numbers:
4 High distinctions
16 Distinctions
5 Credits
2 withdraw
5 fails
4 fail level 1
1 fail level 2
So I basically failed 12 subjects out of a 24 subject degree... not bad eh? A three year degree that I started in 2002 and finished in 2010. (and for those playing along at home, yes I did somehow manage to do 1 extra course o_0)
Take the time away to get yourself sorted, come back and smash that degree
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 244
well holloween however the **** you spell that, i fell off the stupid wagon thing. i am hung ove4r as **** from a very lot of ****** vodka, and my head's killing the **** out of me. i don't consider this a full relapse, becausee as someone else said, i just swapped the pills for booze, but ******* a my head is killing the **** out of me. ahhh.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
The way you're running headlong into self destruction here is quite scary to read Alex...pills, booze...booze, pills.
Get some help, Alex. There must be counselling on your campus.
I'd access it right away.
D
Get some help, Alex. There must be counselling on your campus.
I'd access it right away.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 244
oh thank god finally, i painted the front porch with yesterday's vodka/coffee drink whatever the **** it was... i hate vodka.
and yeah, i've even come to rationalize it as self destruction. i want to self destruct, because idon't ******* care about anything, because everything is ****. **** my head still hurts.
and yeah, i've even come to rationalize it as self destruction. i want to self destruct, because idon't ******* care about anything, because everything is ****. **** my head still hurts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 244
wow... 1600 views. i feel like an attention *****. a very hung over belligerant attention *****. **** it 
I'm not conceited or anything, in fact i ******* hate myself. i'm the most worstest piece of **** ever.
I'm not conceited or anything, in fact i ******* hate myself. i'm the most worstest piece of **** ever.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: chesapeake city Md
Posts: 15
dude
come on now you come here and tell us all how screwed up your life is and how you cant help it. it is time to get over yourself either you are going to do something about it or your not either S&^% or get off the pot. have you gone to a meeting ? have you talked to someone? let me tell you from experince feeling soory for yourself will get you nowhere but even deeper in the rut you are already in. you have to want to change and if you dont then be my guest to keep doing what you are doing. hanging out with your buudies wont help! drinking more wont help! and the pills wont help either! so get off your WOE IS ME high horse and put your @ss to work. I was there so dont think I am playing mr. perfect but I have read your post and I personally dont have much compassion. Compassion is not in my vocabulary My sponsor says it is one of my best character defects because I am brutally honest but can come off as downright ignorent.
But either way if you want help get it if not then keep going till you truly do want it and I will tell you unless you talk to someone and i suggest a true counselor or a Dr. nothing will change you have to want it and be willing to go to any length to get it. Faith without works is dead and if you dont have faith in something you might as well be dead. Just sayin sorry to offend
come on now you come here and tell us all how screwed up your life is and how you cant help it. it is time to get over yourself either you are going to do something about it or your not either S&^% or get off the pot. have you gone to a meeting ? have you talked to someone? let me tell you from experince feeling soory for yourself will get you nowhere but even deeper in the rut you are already in. you have to want to change and if you dont then be my guest to keep doing what you are doing. hanging out with your buudies wont help! drinking more wont help! and the pills wont help either! so get off your WOE IS ME high horse and put your @ss to work. I was there so dont think I am playing mr. perfect but I have read your post and I personally dont have much compassion. Compassion is not in my vocabulary My sponsor says it is one of my best character defects because I am brutally honest but can come off as downright ignorent.
But either way if you want help get it if not then keep going till you truly do want it and I will tell you unless you talk to someone and i suggest a true counselor or a Dr. nothing will change you have to want it and be willing to go to any length to get it. Faith without works is dead and if you dont have faith in something you might as well be dead. Just sayin sorry to offend
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Maryland
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Frustriert 
Get to a counselor, a doctor or an AA meeting ASAP. Or are you going to keep trying to prove to yourself that you can handle this on your own?????
Best of luck,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 244
i have an appointment set up, with a counselor (not an addiction counselor per se but I just gotta get going like you all said, can't be too choosy) and friends have been both enabling and helping, depending on the person... you're right I need to actually do more... ugh... today's hang over is a reminder of how crappy alchohol really is... and I think slight withdrawal from pills too... thanks all...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 64
Alex- I am a professor as well and I can reiterate what everyone else said - if you are going to get it together, now is the time.
Have you tried going to an AA meeting? Having support may be just the boost you need to stay strong. Go every day if you have to, or even twice a day. Your university probably has meetings.
Have you tried going to an AA meeting? Having support may be just the boost you need to stay strong. Go every day if you have to, or even twice a day. Your university probably has meetings.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 15
Like everyone's been saying, its really easy to switch addictions. I was the opposite, I started on pills. Did a lot of doctor shopping, stole any I could. Got off that, started right into drinking. It's a horrible situation.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 86
It is CRAZY easy to switch addictions. I was completely sober for 3-4 months.
I used to occasionally smoke weed, so I picked some up. Started smoking again...and it just got crazy. In the morning, soon as I got home, doing one-hitters at every opportunity to keep the buzz going. Then when I had a job interview coming up so I couldn't smoke I started downing bottles of Robitussin to catch a buzz.
What a spiral.
You aren't the first one to do this Alex... we've been there and it gets better.
I used to occasionally smoke weed, so I picked some up. Started smoking again...and it just got crazy. In the morning, soon as I got home, doing one-hitters at every opportunity to keep the buzz going. Then when I had a job interview coming up so I couldn't smoke I started downing bottles of Robitussin to catch a buzz.
What a spiral.
You aren't the first one to do this Alex... we've been there and it gets better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 244
hey all. been off booze and crazy pills (booze since nov 1, and norcos, soma, seroquil, for like a week, and klonopin for like a day...) (never did use alchohol and pills at the same time) but most importantly i studied my butt off tonight for a psych exam tomorrow. I used marijuana to medicate for headaches and pain, which actually helped me focus on reading.(I have a medicann card, for tension headaches so it's legal, although i'm not sure it's the best thing... but one thing at a time... ) i'm still waaaay behind in homework, but professors who i have late work in their classes tell me they will only penalize me 20% if I can get my work in by monday and tuesday respectively. it's almost half a semester's worth in socio, and a large project in English, so I'm going to be doing that this weekend. thank you as always for reading this, much more posting... i do read everything, and i appreciate it weather i respond ornot... and yes the switch of addiction happened so fast it was frightening... i swapped one central nervous system depressant for another. + a painkiller i wish everyone the best.
QUESTION: to anyone who has legitimate need to be medicated, but also has an addictive personality, how do you balance??!
I have tension headaches, and undiagnosed pain that seems to be imagined, as well as dysphoria... and have since I started high school, and it caused a lot of problems. .. but then once i start medicating, i have such a hard time stopping. I used nothing throughout highschool, until late in Senior year when I occasionally drank Rum and Jager, and was miserable and in pain almost the entire time.
QUESTION: to anyone who has legitimate need to be medicated, but also has an addictive personality, how do you balance??!
I have tension headaches, and undiagnosed pain that seems to be imagined, as well as dysphoria... and have since I started high school, and it caused a lot of problems. .. but then once i start medicating, i have such a hard time stopping. I used nothing throughout highschool, until late in Senior year when I occasionally drank Rum and Jager, and was miserable and in pain almost the entire time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 244
hey, schools going horribly. i am going to have to drop 3/4 classes, because, well, I didn't do most of the work, or didn't pay attention to the instructions. this is officially the worst day since I last drank(halloween), feeling so damn pathetic...
if someone doesn't stop me, i think i'm going to down a couple 40s of beer or something. don't think i can stop myself tonight...... but even as i type this, i feel stronger, but idk what i am going to do. this ******* sucks.
also, does anyone have a resource for other addictions? alchohol is honestly only one of my many compulsions... I'm trying my damnest to stay the **** away from booze and pills i hope thats a start.
if someone doesn't stop me, i think i'm going to down a couple 40s of beer or something. don't think i can stop myself tonight...... but even as i type this, i feel stronger, but idk what i am going to do. this ******* sucks.
also, does anyone have a resource for other addictions? alchohol is honestly only one of my many compulsions... I'm trying my damnest to stay the **** away from booze and pills i hope thats a start.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Alex this thread has been full of suggestions - here's a mere sample:
We can give you all the support you want, but you have to act and actually reach out for help - we can't do it for you.
These are resources for alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
These are resources for just about everything else:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...i-recover.html
Have you seen the counsellor yet?
D
Originally Posted by Suki
Pour the rum down the drain and find a therapist you can discuss your issues with. Drinking never solved any problems and generally makes them worse.
Originally Posted by Frustriert
Stop it, now. It is so much easier to do it now. Get HELP. Get a therapist. Go to AA and get a sponsor. SOMETHING.
I know the shame and guilt and loathing of past deeds. I know how you feel, the bottle calling to you, not able to stop thinking about it and what it gives you. It finally shuts down your brain, it finally just makes you feel good if only for a few hours. Then the next day, it all starts over again...that sick feeling in your stomach (and it isn't from the hangover), the guilt, the embarrassment, the shame.
There is a way out. There are a lot of people willing to help but you have to get to them.
If you can't pour the bottle out just get to an AA meeting. It is embarrassing at first, you'll be scared and thinking a lot of self-critical thoughts. JUST GO. Tell people your story. They will help you
I know the shame and guilt and loathing of past deeds. I know how you feel, the bottle calling to you, not able to stop thinking about it and what it gives you. It finally shuts down your brain, it finally just makes you feel good if only for a few hours. Then the next day, it all starts over again...that sick feeling in your stomach (and it isn't from the hangover), the guilt, the embarrassment, the shame.
There is a way out. There are a lot of people willing to help but you have to get to them.
If you can't pour the bottle out just get to an AA meeting. It is embarrassing at first, you'll be scared and thinking a lot of self-critical thoughts. JUST GO. Tell people your story. They will help you
Originally Posted by Dee74
You seem to be doing it pretty hard right now - besides us, what kind of support network have you got, Alex?
If you haven't got one, maybe you should think about the benefits of getting one?
think about a recovery group, or counselling - even speaking with your Dr can be a first step
D
If you haven't got one, maybe you should think about the benefits of getting one?
think about a recovery group, or counselling - even speaking with your Dr can be a first step
D
Originally Posted by susanlauren
Alex,
I think you already know that you are trading alcohol for pills. Mixing drugs is a dangerous road to travel. You are playing a game of Russian roulette. Have you made an appointment with your doctor? the student counseling center? checked out the book on Rational Recovery? attended an AA meeting? Don't throw away the best years of your life and maybe even your life itself. Please get help.
Susan Lauren
I think you already know that you are trading alcohol for pills. Mixing drugs is a dangerous road to travel. You are playing a game of Russian roulette. Have you made an appointment with your doctor? the student counseling center? checked out the book on Rational Recovery? attended an AA meeting? Don't throw away the best years of your life and maybe even your life itself. Please get help.
Susan Lauren
Originally Posted by dawnrunner
Your university health service has a program to help you. Go see a confidential drop-in counselor. Tell them a bit of what you've written here. Do not be shy or feel superior to getting help. You should not be alone in facing this beast. You can turn this around. The semester is about 1/3 over. Don't burn up that tuition, and don't kill any more brain cells.
Originally Posted by Frustriert
Get to a counselor, a doctor or an AA meeting ASAP. Or are you going to keep trying to prove to yourself that you can handle this on your own?????
We can give you all the support you want, but you have to act and actually reach out for help - we can't do it for you.
These are resources for alcoholism:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
These are resources for just about everything else:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...i-recover.html
Have you seen the counsellor yet?
D
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