newman23

Hi all,

I joined an intensive outpatient program. The good news is I've had more sobriety time I've had in it is more than I've ever had before. The downfall is I relapsed partly due to this disease convincing me that I can get a euphoria I used to get. I've noticed though that I can't get that euphoria anymore when I drink. I just get disoriented. Has anyone else ever noticed this?

Dee74

I think everybody try to recapture that first hit of euphoria Newman - for a lot of us it's the bait that keeps us coming back, time and time again...

I drank for 20 years - probably for 10 of those I was looking for 'the way I used to feel'....I never found it.

It's a useless quest, Newman.
D

MycoolFitz

Over long use I didn't get high anymore in the old sense. I drank more but felt less--high, low or in between. But I did experience more confusion, blanking out if not blacking out. I could sit all day not only not doing much but not thinking much. Hours could pass without much recognition of how they passed. I couldn't recall things like names of people I knew well. Don't know if that's like diorientation or not but I wasn't drinking for euphoria anymore but just to get by and that wasn't working well either.

iwantanewlife

Do you mean that you don't feel the euphoric high anymore? I know what you mean. and then you just drink more and more to seek it out, but instead just black out/pass out. Drinking used to be fun and now all it does is disorient me & cloud my mind. Not one bit of euphoria. This is one reason I know I need to stop (among many reasons!)

sugarbear1

My disease wants me dead and drinking & weed didn't work anymore. I surrendered, but not until emotional bankruptcy and the rest reads like friday the 13th part 50.

sugarbear1

And i laugh today. I am alive and Sober!

checkmate1

I kept drinking more and mixing my drinks more as time went on. The hangovers got worse and worse. A binge on the Friday night trying to get a "high" or "buzz" meant that I was suffering badly for the next 3 days. I would drink a 12 pack of beer and not feel social or excited anymore. It was more of a dull feeling. I started to feel like a drink when I woke up to combat the hangover. Sweating and anxiety used to come on full bore as I was recovering from a binge.

bmwcycle

Oh Yeah, I might still be drinking if I was able to obtain that "high" again, but since I like all the rest stopped achieving that "high" the cost benefit is no longer worth it.,

It is a simple phrase but it is so true "Once a Pickle you can not go back to being a Cucumber"

Boleo

Almost every long-term drinker I have ever met says alcohol quit working for them like it did in the early days.

newman23

Thank you everyone for your feedback. This is exactly what I mean. The really messed up part? My disease still tries to convince me that if I drink again I'll get it and never do.....and I fall for it! And the same thing happens for me as well, I just get disoriented and tired and then I feel depressed because I caved.

sugarbear1

Read Alcoholics Anonymous online

Hanker

I have definitely lost the "high" from alcohol. I still drink but I have come back to this site because of the great people here, the honesty, and my self awareness that I need to stop ingesting a substance that no longer contributes anything productive to my life.
Toward that end I will not drink tonight.

bcboy

Hey Newman!

I understand completely where you are coming from in looking for that high / euphoria.

When you are drinking or using drugs you are messing with many receptors inside your brain and causing a high / low effect on these receptors. Over time this will fatigue the receptors and the longer you abuse this the longer your recovery will take.

In a normal brain these receptors maintain at a steady rate and are stressed only in extreme situations "think fight or flight"

With a proper nutrition and exercise you will start bring your brain back into balance and over time you will start feeling good all the time.

The best part of exercise is that it does affect the brain and after a good workout I often find myself feeling that rush of euphoria and it is all natural.

Hope this helps

Peter G

Sure I've noticed this, and I'd hazard a guess that most full blown booze hounds have also noticed. Relapsed also because of this - chasing that dragon. For many years I drank for the buzz and euphoria, all of which gave me any number of social gifts and advantages - especially given my line of work. And each time I failed to find that nice warm fuzzy place that drinking once took me to, I would curse myself and swear to try harder next time.

Having said that, as Boleo also mentioned, most alcoholics I know who have progressed to an advanced stage state emphatically that the buzz is no longer available no matter how exactingly they try to recreate the "better" days of drinking and partying. To me there came a point when drinking became wholly about managing my illness, and maintenance of the alcoholic numbness I craved. In the end it had little or nothing to do with having fun - moreover "fun" and euphoria was just no longer available at all as long as I was drinking. My drinking eventually skipped any buzz at all. It went from 'me buying booze' to 'me $h!tfaced drunk'. No interim happy time period.

It happened rather quickly for me and I suspect others as well. One day I could drink and feel awesome, I was the life of the party and everyone's best friend - go-to guy, the next I was just that drunk guy in the corner, staggering and slurring, making an a$$ out of myself. Became the bloke people would gossip disgust and condescension eagerly, under their breath. There was no transition and no period where I had a chance to notice the subtle changes from one day having a great buzz and being "Mr. Party/Cool/Popular" to being a sloshed out, staggering, out of control idiot. It seemed to happen like a switch being flipped, all at once.

This was actually a big resentment for me when I first got sober - once I recognized that the fun was truly over; when I knew the days of that lifestyle were gone, never to return. It was sad to know that friends, social circles, lifestyles, all were no longer available to me. It felt like something crucial had been taken from me against my will, like I'd been robbed of something important. Remember saying to myself "this is just not bloody fair!". And of course that thought process led to many relapses. Remembering that I had crap loads of fun when I was drinking - before the drinking became all encompassing... well those good times and good feelings are easy to try and re-create in some perverted alkie retrospect. But once that switch was flipped and I turned from problem drinking into full fledged alcoholic my mannerisms and actions became just embarrassing and eventually tragic. More to your point, I never once felt the buzz I would start drinking again in order to find.

Good news is that I've come to learn through sobriety the fun I thought I was having pales in comparison to the peace, contentment, and sheer joy I can feel being sober.

Horrid bloody illness, alcoholism.

Supercrew

I tried to get that euphoric feeling back for the last 5 years of my drinking and my drinking escalated. I realized that 12 or 15 beers wasn't having an effect, so I switched to vodka. Then I realized a bottle of vodka wasn't having an effect either. I finally realized I was never gonna get that feeling again. At that point is when I started drinking to feel normal. When you need a bottle of vodka to feel normal you have problems.

DayTrader

You can get that euphoric feeling back.....only it's not going to come from alcohol anymore. Now, it'll come from achieving real sobriety - soundness of mind and judgement and maybe even a spiritual awakening if you're open to that.

I re-experience that old euphoric feeling quite frequently ..... and I don't get arrested, go to jail, have to hire attorneys, or deal with hangovers or die the alcoholic death. I can think of a dozen or so ppl on this site and probably a couple hundred folks that I personally know that would be happy to back up my comments with their own personal experiences.

.....the big question is to what level do you want to go in sobriety and what are you willing to do / NOT do. I've found, WE ourselves are the limiting factor (usually from close-minded thinking, preconceptions, lack of willingness, contempt prior to investigation, or just plain old stubbornness) when it comes to how far we can advance in sobriety.

aasharon90

I would hear often how once you've had a
taste of sobriety or recovery, that is sure
screws up one's drinking career. It will never
be the same like it once was.

Im grateful I havent been one who has
gone out in the past 20 yrs. to see if
alcohol still works or not. Many have
done that for me.

Adisa1101

newman,
i can totally relate to this feeling youre talking about. i have been searching for this euphoric high since i stopped drinking. i still cant seem to find it. even during my relapses i didnt get what i was looking for. going to keep searching.

Jabbadabutt

I was always "chasing the white rabbitt" when I drank. I felt like I got about 15 minutes of euphoria when i downed a few drinks and then slipped off the edge....then drank more to try to get it back, but just ended up way tooo drunk - and unhappy. It became too risky for me because I would always cross the line into oblivion even when I set out to only catch a buzz. At some point I determined that the 15 minute 'high' was not worth it......but yet, I still drank. messed up.

JellyBabyBoo

I know exactly how you all feel. The acceleration of alcohol use to keep a 'buzz' slowly creeps up on you. I used to feel great after having a glass of wine in the evenings (MANY years ago). Then I needed 2 glasses to keep the feeling going. Before I even realized, I was drinking a few glasses of wine in the afternoon to make it through to dinner, where I would either have a few mixed drinks or more wine, followed by a strong "night cap". Then guess what? I started waking up with horrible anxiety, sweating and shaking, so I started having a morning screw driver just to get me going.

Guess what? Now I NEVER felt good or relaxed and I was drinking from morning until bedtime every night. Like the rest of you, I realized that I could never get that "high" from alcohol again. I was just going straight from hungover to blacked out... So, a few weeks ago I put a plan in place to cut back substantially and it has been working. Yesterday I had a glass of wine felt nothing, realized I wasn't going to feel anything and just dumped it out.

I'm with you Adisa... I haven't found a replacement for that feeling (maybe never will) but I realize that alcohol will never provide it for me again. With that, I'll keep fighting.