Soberween

Well I finally got a really good job after two and a half years of unemployment and I CHOSE to celebrate by having a few glasses of wine. I can't put into words how sad I am about this and the feelings of hopelessness. All I can do is soldier on.

JohnBarleycorn

I'm sure you know the game by now, and how it will play out if you continue.

Toss the bottle. One drink (or two) does not have to equal one bender.

Soberween

Thanks John...this was on Saturday and I haven't dranken since then, but I still feel like a piece of crap two days later. Somehow I saw this relapse building and ignored it. I was sober for five months and never got the euphoria. I said I did, but I really didn't. Only here and there momentarily did I feel that about being a non-drinker. Blah...that's how I feel.

Ethos23

Try not to focus on the negative, but on the positive: YOU GOT A JOB!!

I know how it feels to beat yourself up though. I do the same thing.

TenNinetySix

Not sure how you feel about AA but I was reading 'As Bill sees It' recently & came across a few quotes which might make you feel a little better....

"About this slip business--I would not be too discouraged. I think you
are suffering a great deal from a needless guilt. For some reason or other,
the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess you are
treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He is only
asking us to try to be. That, you surely are doing, and have been doing."

and:

""Though I know how hurt and sorry you must be after this slip, please
do not worry about a temporary loss of you inner peace. As calmly as you
can, just renew your effort on the A.A. program, especially those parts of
it which have to do with meditation and self-analysis."

"Could I also suggest that you look at excessive guilt for what it is?
Nothing but a sort of reverse pride. A decent regret for what has happened
is fine. But guilt--no."

You slipped. It's okay. Let it go & go on. Hope this helps somewhat. Focus on those 5 months. "It is not always the quantity of good things that you do, it is also
the quality that counts."

Kjell

Hi Soberween-

Congrats on your new job! That's an awesome time in one's life.

...but beware. That and more can be lost in an instant if you're an alcoholic and active.

Kjell~

CarolD

Glad you did find a job.....

D.C is where I became an active alcoholic
and where I started my AA recovery.

Welcome back to SR....

Supercrew

The euphoria is life, it may be subtle, it may come and go, but you make it for yourself. If you don't have it right now, put a smile on your face and go for a walk and look for it. It will be found in your new opportunity, it will be found on your days off relaxing on the couch, it will be found when you see a puppy or a small child.

It is not the same euphoria you find in a bottle and it never will be, but it all starts with a smile and a couple thoughts of gratitude that you are happy to be alive. It may build to pure laughter on some days, and on some days you might really have to search for it, but it is there for everyone, everyday.

Don't make finding your euphoria harder than it has to be, some days for me it's just petting a dog, smelling a flower, or drinking an ice cold glass of water. Enjoy the moments of life instead of searching hard for the feeling, and the feelings will come.

Dee74

Congratulations on your job soberween

I'm sorry you fell for the old celebrate trick but whats done is done.

Find new, more meaningful and healthy, life affirming ways to celebrate

And remember action is key - the times when we don't want to work on our recovery are invariably the times we need to.

As far as euphoria goes, I dunno about others, but I've never been the euphoric type LOL.

I'm grounded - things don't rock my boat as much, not good things or even bad things...but it took some time and a lot of work to get here.

I'm happy for the first time in my adult life - sure, todays not been good - but I know tomorrow probably will be, and I try to be grateful for all my blessings

To me that's the real gift of sobriety.

D

artsoul

I couldn't have said anything better than the last several posters...... Just remember that your life is important and you never know what great things are ahead....... Think of something you can do next time to "celebrate" like get a massage, or go out for a nice dinner.

Soberween

Thanks everyone. Each and everyone of your words all have really helped me. I guess I'm not much the euphoric type either and am really going to try to look for it in the sublties of life.

billsaintjames

Congrats on the new job. It sounds like you are determined to get right back into the saddle of sobriety. Think about all the money you will earn/save with the new job, and how much better you will perform as well!

celticghirl

Well you slipped but you stopped so really you deserve a pat on the back for realising your mistake,the anxious feeling from alcohol is evil,give it a few days and you wil feel better.

You have a job now to fill your time and YOU ARENT DRINKING NOW and thats what counts.Forget whats already done and learn from it.

Peace x