pesky

so i felt the need to post that i drank last weekend, almost had 9 months sober....i feel really really bad .....my mind went straight back to being crazy, and depressed, and mood swings, really feellin kinda up and down, hard to explain....any body else that can relate or have some uplifting words would help.....feelin a lil worthless right now....

Vesna

Pesky, so sorry. You are most definitely not worthless. You are human.

With your 9 months of sobriety, it seems some introspection is in order...what do you think triggered the relapse? What were you thinking in the days and weeks leading up to it? Any major changes in your life? Maybe identifying what led to the relapse can help avoid it in the future...?

SASA

hi pesky, sorry to hear that. The good news is you can hop back onto the wagon and start again. You did the hardest thing and that is you admitted you relapsed. Be proud of your 9 month. You can do it again and even longer this time.

joedris

For some strange reason, the 9 month point was always a wall with me. And in AA, the 9 month chip is the least given out chip, so don't feel alone. I finally broke the barrier by focusing on the fact that when the 9 month point next came up, I was loaded for bear. I had myself so damned psyched that there was no way I was going to miss picking up that chip. That was some time ago now, but I still remember the 9 month wall.

Hollyanne

Today, The lady doing the chair at my meeting was the same as who chaired 6 months ago.
6 mths ago, I had 28days and she talked a lot about the obsession. I was obsessed for about a week before this.
I even said how I was feeling. I drove home and bought a bottle of brandy and drank the whole damn thing!!!! Mother of Jesus, was I effed up after that.

Haven't drank since. Am doing great now. Have thoughts of drink, but I just tell "them" to feck-off with themselves.

She was horrified when I told her and I had to reassure her that I was deffo not doing that tonight!
I also had 2yrs before and just strolled to the liquour store and blew it!
Took me 1 1/2 yrs to get back!
I guess we just sometimes have to have that last go-around.
Don't beat yourself up about it. It is what it is. Back now to sober, happy life. Might have been necessary for YOU.
I do not recommend that you all rush out and get hammered and say "Holly told me to do it!". That would be stupid.
I know now, I just can't stop treating it or I WILL relapse.

OklaBH

relapse sucks! you are not a failure. relapse is common. its how we are wired. i bet you will be stronger now! congrats on your 9 months!

lizisme

9 months sober is still 9 months sober, what an achievement! All is not lost, you don't have to 'start all over again', you made an error in judgement and you know that now. Up and up and up :-)

Bikeguy

9 months is great, you have proved you have the know how and the tools, it's time to move on the the next chapter. You can do it!

Zencat

Unfortunately a relapse can happen. Rather that seeing it as something to get down upon yourself, look at it as an opportunity to see where you can make improvements in your recovery plan. I know for myself, when I not maintaining the daily treatments that keep me sober, bad things happen.

Time to review your (or formulate one if you don't have) an addiction treatment plan

TheEnd

Relapse is not a part of recovery, but in my case it was necessary. It showed me that I really cannot drink no matter how much I may want to drink. I wished I never relapsed, but what's done is done. I can only move forward from this point and that's all you can do.
Good luck and keep your head up!!!

Dee74

Pesky

It's not a good thing, but many of us understand - many of us faltered a time or two.

Its important now you get back on the right road, look at why you drank, and think about what you need to add now to what you've been doing.

If you're prepared to work, you can learn from this and make sure it never happens again

D

LaFemme

Hugs!

Sending positive thoughts and prayers. You are human and slipped...we all make mistakes. You learn from them and move on.

Xoxo, LaFemme

Genie

Pesky:

How much did you drink to make you crazy, depressed etc? Did you get drunk? I realize you are upset with yourself for relapsing but I am curious to know about how much you drank.

I'm newly sober myself and suffered a great deal of anxiety - so am just curious to know if one drink (period) is all it takes. Reason being is I've been feeling a bit of pressure from people I know who are saying - you can have one drink, it won't hurt. I have no frame of reference and am sincerely wanting to know.

Thanks,
Genie

MsCooterBrown

"Reason being is I've been feeling a bit of pressure from people I know who are saying - you can have one drink, it won't hurt."

I say..stay away from those people. People that pull this cr@p either have a problem with alcohol themselves or they don't understand alcoholism. Firm believer here that you will pick up and NOT end at one..and bypass the amount you used to drink.

MsCooterBrown

Pesky..glad you are back. I hope this is something you learn from that will in turn help you achieve lasting sobriety. Anxiety is the worst! I had to get sober to figure out how much alcohol plays into it..

grateful101010

You came back to the right place.

bmwcycle

I would not focus on what happened, you can not put the Sh*t back in the mule..

I think that too much attention to the number of days, fact of the matter you have not been drinking for a long time and when you did get drunk you did not enjoy it. I would focus on that and go from there and see where that takes you.

best of luck

MrDavid

Welcome back...

TwelveSteps

I've relapsed more than once and what I found most helpful was to (1) really analyze what led up to it and (2) plan out what I was going to do next time that was different.

1 isn't always obvious -- I repeatedly relapsed just before getting to 30 days at first until I sat down and looked at the calendar, and DUH -- my relapses coincided exactly with PMS!!

GG

Genie

MsCB - I didn't really frame that question well. What I meant was I need information to relay back to the people on why just having one will not work - to help them understand.