I'm in a bad place.... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 06:56 AM

I've been on a bit of a whirlwind this last month. I started drinking 15 full strength cans for about a week. I think i'm getting some form of dementure, I'm getting real paranoid about this. I'm forgetting stuff could be the booze but I really deep down think I'm stuffed I'm 29 and feel like I'm in my last days. All those AA stories that you hear in the meetings are all starting to come true. After I drink the next morning is where the battle begins. I've got red eyes in the morning and getting real worried about my sanity....I think I'm going crazy. I'm on anti-depressants and I don't think that its helping either taking that with the alcohol and all that too.

suki44883 · 07-13-2010, 07:01 AM

Anti-depressants are useless if you are drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and negates any benefit from the medication. The first thing you need to do is decide if you truly want to stop drinking. If you do, then you can go to your doctor for help in quitting or you can go to the ER for assistance in detoxing. The first step after deciding to stop is to detox yourself from the alcohol. Then you can begin to work on recovery.

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 07:02 AM

and thats not all I got out of a long term relationship about 18 months ago and that took me down for 6 months couldn't even leave the house. got better with the anti-depressants in February this year and started drinking again. And feel like I'm going backwards again.

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 07:05 AM

I gave up for 3 days a couple days ago and don't get withdrawal and I ask myself if I want to quit and the battle is to hard I can't handle sober.

suki44883 · 07-13-2010, 07:07 AM

Yes, you can handle sober, but you have to want it. Just quitting drinking is not recovery. You will need some kind of program or counseling to help you learn how to live a sober life.

**Opivotal** · 07-13-2010, 07:15 AM

It's the alcohol making you feel crazy and like your losing your mind. Just can't see things correctly when consuming that much of it. Its a endless battle until you quit. Sorry to hear your in such a bad place. We've all been where you are.

Anti-depressants will NOT work if drinking. Alcohol is a depressant. One working against the other.

Do you have any plans to try and re-claim your life? This is a horrible way to live...depressed and wondering if your going crazy.

I'm glad you posted. Alot of helpful people here that can lend you their support. Maybe you can seek some medical advice to help you find your way through this addiction.

Best to you

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 07:17 AM

i've seen what they do in alcohol rehab and all that group stuff I couldn't do just to hard suki. I saw a documentary about on rehab real life I wouldn't last. maybe i'll be just another statistic. and I know you have to want to stop but I'll be dead b4 that happens.

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 07:23 AM

hey op nah not really I waited a month to get some counselling and when It came up I cancelled it. I'm really a no hoper.

suki44883 · 07-13-2010, 07:26 AM

You've seen...you've heard...blah, blah, blah. There is nothing hard about rehab. You just have to have the willingness to quit drinking and be open-minded enough to learn what they have to teach you. Attitude has A LOT to do with it, and if you truly think there is no hope for you, then, there probably isn't. But, something made you find SR and post here. I think you have some hope inside, but you're just scared. It's okay. If you're scared, just do it scared.

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 07:27 AM

everytime I drink I feel better. But when the next day comes I suffer mentally more than anything.

suki44883 · 07-13-2010, 07:29 AM

Yeah, you feel better when you drink because you're body has become addicted. When you take a little "hair of the dog" your brain gets what it wants. Once you detox though, your body won't be addicted. After that, it's mental, and that's what rehab helps you with. They can teach you how to handle cravings, because you will get them for a while, and help you learn about yourself and why you use alcohol in the first place.

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 07:37 AM

i don't want to learn anymore about myself than I know now. I've been drinking since i was 17 and if I quit drinking all together I'll lose the only friend I have left because I don't want to socialise when I'm sober. I can keep my friend if I continue to drink. He would be there regardless but that's not the point. i hate groups of people can't handle it

checkmate1 · 07-13-2010, 07:39 AM

maybe it is the booze making me think i'm losing my mind

suki44883 · 07-13-2010, 07:51 AM

Yep, booze screws up our thinking alright. Hope you'll make the decision to get some help. You don't have to feel the way you do now.

CarolD · 07-13-2010, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by checkmate1

maybe it is the booze making me think i'm losing my mind

That is certainly what happened to me before I quit.
And that is exactly why I decided to choose sobriety.

It was a dark scary place to be
I'm sorry you apparently are there....

Welcome back to SR

**artsoul** · 07-13-2010, 08:47 AM

Hi checkmate - you don't have to be another statistic if you don't want to be. You can choose to get help (even if you can't imagine quitting right now), or continue and let it get worse. People say that dying from alcoholism is really, really painful and drawn out.

I can see a little bit of myself in your post. I have a habit of sitting around and thinking (mostly negatively) about the future. I can think my way out of doing a lot of things that might be good for me, instead of just doing them and finding out for myself whether they work or not. It's not like me to want or need any help from anyone, and a lot of the time I just don't want to be bothered with things that take effort. I'll say one thing though: if you get rid of the drink, you'll find that you start to have motivation again after a while, that there is a real person underneath all the alcohol-induced anxiety and depression. I hope you give sobriety a chance. Really, what do you have to lose? Just take ONE step and see what happens, instead of living it out in your head, huh?

checkmate1 · 07-14-2010, 10:15 AM

hey I'm here again not really drunk but content but that's not the point is it. I'm living this out day by day I wasn't planning on drinking tonight but the anxiety has got the best of me once again. I'm not sure but when I started drinking heavy I think my stomach stetched and it feels like in the last month that I feel like chucking when I wake up. I was dry reaching when I woke up a couple of weeks ago after drinking the night before.

CarolD · 07-14-2010, 10:28 AM

I strongly suggest you have an honest talk with your doctor.
You may need medical assistance to determine what damage
you are doing to your body by drinking....

Active alcoholics die....and most do so needlessly.

checkmate1 · 07-14-2010, 10:32 AM

yeah I've rang a few alcohol lines no answers for me there. i have the strength to pull through but I don't know.

checkmate1 · 07-14-2010, 10:33 AM

my biggest enemy myself I'm afraid

07-13-2010, 06:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	I'm in a bad place.... I've been on a bit of a whirlwind this last month. I started drinking 15 full strength cans for about a week. I think i'm getting some form of dementure, I'm getting real paranoid about this. I'm forgetting stuff could be the booze but I really deep down think I'm stuffed I'm 29 and feel like I'm in my last days. All those AA stories that you hear in the meetings are all starting to come true. After I drink the next morning is where the battle begins. I've got red eyes in the morning and getting real worried about my sanity....I think I'm going crazy. I'm on anti-depressants and I don't think that its helping either taking that with the alcohol and all that too.

07-13-2010, 07:01 AM	#2 (permalink)
suki44883 Just livin' the dream Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 11,557	Anti-depressants are useless if you are drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and negates any benefit from the medication. The first thing you need to do is decide if you truly want to stop drinking. If you do, then you can go to your doctor for help in quitting or you can go to the ER for assistance in detoxing. The first step after deciding to stop is to detox yourself from the alcohol. Then you can begin to work on recovery. __________________ "The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path." - Travis Alexander "So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key." - The Eagles

07-13-2010, 07:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
suki44883 Just livin' the dream Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 11,557	Yes, you can handle sober, but you have to want it. Just quitting drinking is not recovery. You will need some kind of program or counseling to help you learn how to live a sober life. __________________ "The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path." - Travis Alexander "So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key." - The Eagles

07-13-2010, 07:26 AM	#9 (permalink)
suki44883 Just livin' the dream Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 11,557	You've seen...you've heard...blah, blah, blah. There is nothing hard about rehab. You just have to have the willingness to quit drinking and be open-minded enough to learn what they have to teach you. Attitude has A LOT to do with it, and if you truly think there is no hope for you, then, there probably isn't. But, something made you find SR and post here. I think you have some hope inside, but you're just scared. It's okay. If you're scared, just do it scared. __________________ "The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path." - Travis Alexander "So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key." - The Eagles

07-13-2010, 07:29 AM	#11 (permalink)
suki44883 Just livin' the dream Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 11,557	Yeah, you feel better when you drink because you're body has become addicted. When you take a little "hair of the dog" your brain gets what it wants. Once you detox though, your body won't be addicted. After that, it's mental, and that's what rehab helps you with. They can teach you how to handle cravings, because you will get them for a while, and help you learn about yourself and why you use alcohol in the first place. __________________ "The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path." - Travis Alexander "So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key." - The Eagles

07-13-2010, 07:02 AM	#3 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	and thats not all I got out of a long term relationship about 18 months ago and that took me down for 6 months couldn't even leave the house. got better with the anti-depressants in February this year and started drinking again. And feel like I'm going backwards again.

07-13-2010, 07:05 AM	#4 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	I gave up for 3 days a couple days ago and don't get withdrawal and I ask myself if I want to quit and the battle is to hard I can't handle sober.

07-13-2010, 07:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
Opivotal Social Network Moderator Monster Match Champion! Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: New York Posts: 5,888	It's the alcohol making you feel crazy and like your losing your mind. Just can't see things correctly when consuming that much of it. Its a endless battle until you quit. Sorry to hear your in such a bad place. We've all been where you are. Anti-depressants will NOT work if drinking. Alcohol is a depressant. One working against the other. Do you have any plans to try and re-claim your life? This is a horrible way to live...depressed and wondering if your going crazy. I'm glad you posted. Alot of helpful people here that can lend you their support. Maybe you can seek some medical advice to help you find your way through this addiction. Best to you

07-13-2010, 07:17 AM	#7 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	i've seen what they do in alcohol rehab and all that group stuff I couldn't do just to hard suki. I saw a documentary about on rehab real life I wouldn't last. maybe i'll be just another statistic. and I know you have to want to stop but I'll be dead b4 that happens.

07-13-2010, 07:23 AM	#8 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	hey op nah not really I waited a month to get some counselling and when It came up I cancelled it. I'm really a no hoper.

07-13-2010, 07:27 AM	#10 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	everytime I drink I feel better. But when the next day comes I suffer mentally more than anything.

07-13-2010, 07:37 AM	#12 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	i don't want to learn anymore about myself than I know now. I've been drinking since i was 17 and if I quit drinking all together I'll lose the only friend I have left because I don't want to socialise when I'm sober. I can keep my friend if I continue to drink. He would be there regardless but that's not the point. i hate groups of people can't handle it

07-13-2010, 07:39 AM	#13 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	maybe it is the booze making me think i'm losing my mind

07-13-2010, 07:51 AM	#14 (permalink)
suki44883 Just livin' the dream Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Somewhere Out There Posts: 11,557	Yep, booze screws up our thinking alright. Hope you'll make the decision to get some help. You don't have to feel the way you do now. __________________ "The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path." - Travis Alexander "So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key." - The Eagles

07-13-2010, 08:47 AM	#16 (permalink)
artsoul SR Fan Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Mississippi Posts: 7,576	Hi checkmate - you don't have to be another statistic if you don't want to be. You can choose to get help (even if you can't imagine quitting right now), or continue and let it get worse. People say that dying from alcoholism is really, really painful and drawn out. I can see a little bit of myself in your post. I have a habit of sitting around and thinking (mostly negatively) about the future. I can think my way out of doing a lot of things that might be good for me, instead of just doing them and finding out for myself whether they work or not. It's not like me to want or need any help from anyone, and a lot of the time I just don't want to be bothered with things that take effort. I'll say one thing though: if you get rid of the drink, you'll find that you start to have motivation again after a while, that there is a real person underneath all the alcohol-induced anxiety and depression. I hope you give sobriety a chance. Really, what do you have to lose? Just take ONE step and see what happens, instead of living it out in your head, huh?

07-14-2010, 10:15 AM	#17 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	hey I'm here again not really drunk but content but that's not the point is it. I'm living this out day by day I wasn't planning on drinking tonight but the anxiety has got the best of me once again. I'm not sure but when I started drinking heavy I think my stomach stetched and it feels like in the last month that I feel like chucking when I wake up. I was dry reaching when I woke up a couple of weeks ago after drinking the night before.

07-14-2010, 10:28 AM	#18 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	I strongly suggest you have an honest talk with your doctor. You may need medical assistance to determine what damage you are doing to your body by drinking.... Active alcoholics die....and most do so needlessly. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

07-14-2010, 10:32 AM	#19 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	yeah I've rang a few alcohol lines no answers for me there. i have the strength to pull through but I don't know.

07-14-2010, 10:33 AM	#20 (permalink)
checkmate1 Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 335	my biggest enemy myself I'm afraid

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