How many of you have never blacked out due to drinking?

[CAPTAINZING2000]

My sponsor said, he always knew what was going on. I told him my last black out brought me into AA.

Did you always know what was going on??

[zoomer]

I have had the bad luck of never blacking out while drunk. Somethings I wish I did not remember!

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Specially on car wrecks

[least]

I drank alone at home 99% of the time. I never blacked out... I remember every stinking depressing wasted miserable minute...

[postparty82]

For me, Blacking out became a nightly occurence. I had many long phone calls I don't remember. Saw many movies I have no recollection of . Would wake up and have no idea when or how I got into bed (if I woke up in bed, that is). Im surprised to see some alcoholics haven't blacked out actually. I thought it was part of the program, so to speak

[jamdls]

I blacked out all the time and missed my daughter's teenage years stupid stupid me

[Kerbcrawler]

me too often Blacked out with wine spilt all over...upon waking, often in a chair!

[NEOMARXIST]

I thought blacking out and drinking were the same thing. For me blacking out and drinking went hand in hand. I would pretty much blackout most times that I drank. If I didn't blackout then I would be dissapointed as I could have got much more wrecked.

I used to buy enough booze to finish the job. Finishing the job for me would mean waking up in bed not remembering getting there or calling it a night. I tended to find howver that i was losing my memory a lot sooner than I remember earlier on in my drinking days too. Like memories would be much more hazy after only 5 or 6 pints. I always used to say if you're gonna do a job then do it properly. If I didn't blackout then I kinda viewed it like I could have got more wrecked.

The reason I preferred to drink alone is because my blankouts were getting worse and causing me much more anxiety and paranoia. Also I was told my behaviour during was becoming much more bizarre and strange. Talking to walls and such like. also I got taurettes really bad towards the last 18 months of my drinking and I would just shout out swear words repeatedly and just shout really bizzarre and strange things. I don't really remember doing this but I was told this. It's safe to say my behaviour resembled that of a street alcoholic shouting obscenities to himself on a street corner or something. I guess that is superstrength for ya. Total mind f*ck. 9% lager. Don't take many 500ML cans to be in blackout, especially downed in one. very dangerous stuff and very cheap too.

I used to take a lot of drugs on binges to prevent blackouts. But even then my memry would be f*cked but I would remember more but I would be tweaking/ticking like a motherf*cker.


peace

[MyPaperAnchor]

Blacking out went from being something that happened rarely to something that happened without fail. Toward the end it wasn't whether I was going to black out, it was WHEN I was going to black out and for how long.

I'm so glad I don't have to do that anymore.

[CarolD]

This info on Blackouts is on our sticky post
"Under The Influence"

Page 108 & Others}
(Sorry it took me so long Carol, and THANKS for the sticky!)

The middle-stage alcoholic has probably been having blackouts from time to time. Blackouts are a very distinctive feature of alcoholism, and one symptom that clearly distinguishes alcoholics from non-alcoholics. The events which occur during an alcoholic blackout are not forgotten; they are simply not stored or are imperfectly stored in the brain. There is nothing there to be recalled later.

During a blackout, the alcoholic may be functioning normally and aware of everything that is happening around him. He continues to talk, walk, eat, drive a car, conduct a business deal, or make love to his wife. Yet on sobering up, he has no memory trace of what occurred during a certain time period -- it could be a minute, an hour, or even several days. In the early stages of the disease, blackouts are relatively infrequent, but as the disease progresses, they occur more often and last for longer periods of time.

Jack attended a series of weekend meetings held in a city 90 miles from his home. The last meeting ended in midafternoon, and Jack retired to the bar with several friends. It was happy hour, and the bartender announced a special on martinis: six ounces of gin for just $2.00. Jack drank four specials and then decided to order dinner before he drove home. With dinner, he drank a bottle of wine. It was late when he started driving, but he remembered watching the moon rise over the low hills. The next thing he knew and could later recall, he was travelling 110 mph and was 25 miles past his exit. He had driven 100 miles in a blackout.

It is not difficult to imagine how frightening blackouts can be. The alcoholic may wake up in the morning with no recall of the events of the previous evening. He gets out of bed, afraid to inspect his clothes -- did he get sick? Then the question occurs to him: "How did I get home?" He looks out the window, fearful that the car will be missing. He does not remember driving home.

The car is there, and he has another, even more frightening thought: "Did I hit something or someone?" He runs outside and looks at the front end. He searches the seats for clues to help him piece the lost time back together. Humiliating thoughts race through his mind: "Did I disgrace myself? Will my friends talk to me? How can I find out what happened when I am too embarrassed to admit that I don't remember?"

Blackouts can be so frightening that they make the alcoholic question his sanity. For the first time he may realize that he is in deep trouble with alcohol. Despite his increasing problems, however, the middle-stage alcoholic rarely considers giving up drinking...

From my experience with blackout drinking...it's dead on.

My blackouts stopped immediately with sobriety....
each time I returned to drinking...back they came.

[MahiMahi]

Originally Posted by postparty82

For me, Blacking out became a nightly occurence. I had many long phone calls I don't remember. Saw many movies I have no recollection of . Would wake up and have no idea when or how I got into bed (if I woke up in bed, that is). Im surprised to see some alcoholics haven't blacked out actually. I thought it was part of the program, so to speak

Sounds just like me in the last few years of heavy drinking and using pills.

[yeahgr8]

It was alwways a standing joke when i was younger that i could not remember leaving the club/friends house etc, i thought everyone lost part of the night when drunk!? Then blackouts came back with a vengeance towards the end of my drinking and that was scary especially as i had a less than positive mood most of the time!

[Cantonian]

sometimes, they grew more frequent towards the end...I was a home-alone drinker for the most part and managed to stay out of obvious troubles, the bad stuff was going on inside.

[T1234]

A few times. When I first started drinking regularly, I played with Johnnie Walker Black and Crown Royal, whiskey, straight up, and the bar used to give me doubles at the single price... That'll do it. Quit whiskey after all that madness.

Never with beer, though, just a hangover. Got old, regardless.

Mineral Water. Mmmm.

[DayWalker]

Blacked out many times sad to say. Worst one for sure was back about 8 yrs ago, was bouncing at a bar and coming home around 3am after drinking (while bouncing) and plowed into a parked car. Remember none of it, all I remember was the police report and jail time. I hate looking back at those times but that's stuff that made me "me" so I still talk about it :/

Steve

[battypatty]

I blacked out so freqently I would take notes on cocktail napkins listing where I was, what time it was, and who I was with. I would look for the napkin the next day to help me remember, or at least give me enough info to fake that I remembered. Oh my . . .

[penny74]

People would tell me l had been to there house the day before...l could not remember doing so.
That really scared me.
Alcohol and benzo's .. not so good.

[DayWalker]

Ya know, been thinking about this post Capt for the past few hrs.....and the more I think about it the more I realize, the last few yrs of my drinking my entire "goal" everytime I drank was to blackout. I can't remember the last time I drank without wanting to 'blackout'.Pretty sad way to live when you think about it.

Steve

[humblestudent]

I blacked out every.single.time. Every time I drank. I could honestly remember the first 4 doubles, and then after that, no memory. None. I would then spend the entire next few days freaking out about what I might have done or said, or who I might've offended. God I don't miss that. Now I remember everything, every word and every inflection. I love being the sober one now. I honestly do.

[yeahgr8]

I just remembered something, the worst thing was when someone would come up in the street, shout alright cliff and give me a big hug, then subtly trying to find out where i had met them and finding out i had been out with them a couple of nights previous and had become best mates! Girls were the worst, that used to scare the hell out of me when one would come up and say hey cliff where have you been...and you are?! Mind you all seemed prefectly normal at the time...

[Nevertheless]

I blacked out every night.
Like Yeagr8t said, when I was just out of highschool, we thought it was funny.
Fred

[exquisitered]

I pretty much always had blackouts. Starting as a teen and just getting worse and more frequent as my drinking progressed. I had them very, very often (nightly by the end) it didn't matter what I drank. I tried switching to only beer for awhile because I thought I was less likely to blackout that way, but it made no difference. I think in a sick way the blackouts became the "goal" of my drinking. I hated them, but at the same time I didn't feel like I was drunk until I had one or something. I mean, towards the end of my drinking I would barely even feel like I had a buzz and then I would blackout. I don't remember actually getting drunk at all. This has gotten even worse since I sobered up btw... I had a relapse after 13 months sober and I blacked out after 4 drinks! There was a time I could drink most of a half gallon of hard liquor before I blacked out and I was shocked that I could blackout from so little an amount. They were the worst thing about my drinking and what eventually made me decide to quit. My behavior during blackouts just got weirder and weirder the more I had them and I couldn't stand to be that person anymore. Even now the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is try to remember going to bed the night before. That is how I always knew whether I had blacked out or not and I guess old habits die hard, cause it's always my first thought. I am SO very grateful not to have them anymore!

[intention]

As my tolerance to alcohol increased and I could drink more the point at which I blacked out happened quicker and quicker. In the last year, after two glasses of wine I would have no recollection of anything else.

I had to turn the phone off and leave notes for myself.

It was scary, scary, scary. Ultimately it was a blackout and no memory of a certain incident which got me to admit that I was an alcoholic and could never drink again.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

I often wonder if, I drank so much cause, I couldn't stop or, I just wanted to drink until, I felt nothing!!!

[readyforhelp]

That's how I found SR.
I was blacking out every time I drank even if it was just a little.(?!) I googled "blackouts" and the rest is history.