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Old 12-04-2009, 01:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Kicked Out Of AA Club

I didn't realize you can get barred from AA but apparently I did. I admitted that I had 4 hours sobriety in my comment & an older gentlemen got extremely upset & stormed out. I cussed him out in front of the meeting & was asked to leave. I find out at the next board meeting how long I will be "barred". I thought AA didn't shoot it's wounded? I mainly go to this club for the free coffee & pop (that I don't pay for). Anyways just another example of AA letting me down.

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Old 12-04-2009, 01:57 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I have been to many many clubs and I have only seen one instance of where someone was banned who had become delusional and started to slap the woman seated next to him. It was done to protect the people inside the club. The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking but clubs can take action if necessary. You might try another club and a different approach at that club.
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Old 12-04-2009, 01:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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....just another example of AA letting me down.
Or just another example of alcohol letting you down.

It sounds like drinking makes you look for trouble.
EDIT:Ironically, the same things that would make you get thrown out of a bar (f.e. cussing at other people, being very disruptive, starting fights) will probably also get you barred from a meeting.
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Old 12-04-2009, 02:06 PM   #4 (permalink)
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not to seem harsh .. but I think your reasons for going are definatly wrong ... You should be going there because you want to stay sober , not to sober up and drink free coffee and pop . the requirement is to want soberity , It kind of sounded like from your post that this isnt your first time there , And maybe your out burst was just the cherry on the sundie for them ,
AA is not ment to enable someone for just free coffee and pop
sorry if im bit stern. but sometimes its needed
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Old 12-04-2009, 02:19 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I didn't realize you can get barred from AA but apparently I did. I admitted that I had 4 hours sobriety in my comment & an older gentlemen got extremely upset & stormed out. I cussed him out in front of the meeting & was asked to leave. I find out at the next board meeting how long I will be "barred". I thought AA didn't shoot it's wounded? I mainly go to this club for the free coffee & pop (that I don't pay for). Anyways just another example of AA letting me down.
That's beautiful tib... What else besides free coffee and pop can AA do for you?

An individual group can ask you to leave. AA as an organization has no say either way. Did you ever see that movie Fightclub? Maybe another self help group would meet your needs better...

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Old 12-04-2009, 02:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I cussed him out in front of the meeting & was asked to leave.
Sorry Tib, but we'd ban someone for the same reason, cussing someone out at a meeting serves no purpose. We also mention at the beginning of our meetings that if you've been drinking please see someone after the meeting to discuss it. At 4 hours I don't think anyone can claim they have "sobriety".

We also have a sign by the coffee machine that says "Sobriety is free, but coffee is $.25 cents". That's a bargain compared to Starbucks and AA doesn't get it for free.

littlestranger is right, alcohol always let me down. I've never been let down by AA when I reached out in earnest for support.
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Old 12-04-2009, 02:26 PM   #7 (permalink)
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It sounds like to me you are struggling for attention, and the best way to get it is to come here and start a "discussion" with all the people that are alive, sober, and HAPPY because of AA. Sorry it didn't work for you, but many of us are sober and happy because of AA and the grace of God. One day at a time.

When you are ready to get and stay sober, please come and let us help you!
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Old 12-04-2009, 02:45 PM   #8 (permalink)
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You have got to be kidding me right? This has to be a joke.
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Old 12-04-2009, 02:49 PM   #9 (permalink)
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We also have a sign by the coffee machine that says "Sobriety is free, but coffee is $.25 cents". That's a bargain compared to Starbucks and AA doesn't get it for free.
I like that. I'm gonna try something like that at my evening groups. The more group conscience meetings I attend, the more I realize that AA still has to pay the bills. I often wondered why the old timers would put $5 in the 7th tradition basket every week, now I know why.

Churches do great work, but they aren't free. I was told that although AA doesn't pay "rent," we do have to help with the gas and electric bills and, of course, the coffee.
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You have got to be kidding me right? This has to be a joke.


Thought the same exact thing
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:21 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Four hours sober? Why would you ruin a good drunk with coffee and cookies or pop or donuts or whatever?

If you're gonna drink, drink.
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:23 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hmm.....
You forgot to mention how many free cakes and chips
you've gotten by not being honest

Some actions ...especially when repeated by the same person
is not acceptable behavior in or out of AA clubs/groups/meetings.

Why are you shocked? You have been around AA for years.
You are not a newcomer. There are hundreds of places
in Chicago for you to go....and hopeflly.....stay sober.
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:28 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Yeah, he's kidding.

Every idiot knows that cussing someone out is the perfect way to get thrown out of anywhere. If I cuss out a coworker, I'll get thrown out of work. If I cuss out a person at the grocery store, I'll get thrown out of a store. If I cuss at a police officer, I'll get thrown in jail.

Nobody deserves to be cussed out like that, and nobody has to put up with it.

So yeah, he's kidding and pretending to be hurt and rejected and "Oh, so alone."

My alcoholism LIKES it when I feel hurt and rejected and feeling alone. In fact, I'll create situations to make me feel that way so that I have an excuse to behave like an a$$.
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:36 PM   #14 (permalink)
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It sounds like to me you are struggling for attention, and the best way to get it is to come here and start a "discussion" with all the people that are alive, sober, and HAPPY because of AA. Sorry it didn't work for you, but many of us are sober and happy because of AA and the grace of God. One day at a time.

When you are ready to get and stay sober, please come and let us help you!
It sounds to me like you might be assuming things?
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:40 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Actually they are NOT AA Clubs. They are Alano Clubs that allow AA meetings to be held in them and each meeting pays rent.

Each Alano Club has Rules of Deportment for the premises. Members pay monthly dues to use the facilities at non meeting times, and as a member get to vote in the Board of Directors and have input on said rules and the running of the premises. AA World Services have nothing to do with Alano Clubs. So in essence the Club kicked you out for bad behavior. I have seen "Clubs" all over the country do the same thing over the years.

Sounds about right to me. You received consequences for YOUR actions.

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Old 12-04-2009, 03:41 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Sadly, I don't think Tiburon is kidding. He has been around a while and this is just another incident.

Can't find a good AA meeting? In Chicago? Lots of people live in small towns where there in not a lot of choice in meetings. In Mobile we probably have 400 meetings a week. Chicago must have 8,000.

Tib, if you're still reading, AA has not let you down. You let yourself down. Please save yourself.
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Old 12-04-2009, 03:52 PM   #17 (permalink)
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It sounds to me like you might be assuming things?
Like what? I am more than happy to help anyone that honestly wants it!
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Old 12-04-2009, 04:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
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tiburon -

*sigh*

I have just .. well a couple of things to say.
one is for clarity
the other is for my own peace of mind.

One -

if this was an 'Alano Club' you, and mostly anyone reading this
looking for a reason to hate aa need to understand something.
and especially for those looking for help from the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous...

Alano Clubs are NOT representative of Alcoholics Anonymous. They are a separately incorporated buisness, usually run in the same building as meetings, but is in NO WAY corporately associated or attached to Alcoholics Anonymous. This from the date for the first charter.
They can make their own rules, ban whom they wish, and need no permission for AA to do any thing.

If it was a group of Alcoholics Anonymous, and this was a 'business meeting' or even a 'group conscience' meeting - then you, not they have to consider the events that led the people who are committed to recovery to 'ban' you from further meetings.
I am stating that I guarantee that it was not 'arbitrary' nor was it without considerable thought and prayer.
One thing that has to be considered, along with the 'the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking' tradition, is that ... while you have a right to want to be sober, you do NOT have the right to disturb, threaten, undermine, or disrupt the meeting held for and with the intention of those who ARE ready to do what it takes.

Now, for the peace of mind part:

Son, if you put as much time and energy into not drinking
and learning to be sober
to learning what it is to be a recovering alcoholic
and to helping others...
as you do knocking Alcoholics Anonymous....
putting people down, criticising the founders,
and those who have achieved sobriety
and done it one day at a time for quite a while...
you'd be an oldtimer by now.

You would already have the recognition you so desperately hunger for.

You can't start out as an expert.

in anything.

You need to get over that
or you'll not succeed

ever.

In anything.

Learn the humility of being teachable, son.

Tht's my advice.
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Old 12-04-2009, 04:57 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I got nothing to add really Tib.

Once I stopped blaming everyone else for the fact I was still drinking, I got better.

Like Barb said, I spent so much time and effort into 'kinda but not really' recovering...'noone else appreciated my efforts', 'noone knew my struggles' 'noone gave the support I needed'.... BS.

Once I put all that effort into really working to make a different life, things turned around.

Hope you give yourself the chance mate

D
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Old 12-04-2009, 05:29 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I didn't realize you can get barred from AA but apparently I did. I admitted that I had 4 hours sobriety in my comment & an older gentlemen got extremely upset & stormed out. I cussed him out in front of the meeting & was asked to leave. I find out at the next board meeting how long I will be "barred". I thought AA didn't shoot it's wounded? I mainly go to this club for the free coffee & pop (that I don't pay for). Anyways just another example of AA letting me down.

tiburon

So you cussed someone out and wondering why you might have to go somewhere else for awhile. You mainly go for free stuff..

You can't be that dense by asking why...... Just a possibility you are the issue..

Time to grow up and accept responsibility for yourself. They aren't your mama but people wanting to help. AA will help but you might need to learn to sit down and be quiet for awhile.
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