"drinking thinking"

[fragrantrose]

I am struggling to stay off this demon drink as it really it makes me sick I drink bottle at a time and feel very sick the next day (last week had day off work and just felt like dying from the awful feeling of going through it all again.!!!!)
The problem is by nightfall the old thinking starts and persists that I am not really an alcoholic and can drink again and maybe control it etc.etc.
Have to do something different going to AA this pm despite my mind telling me dont go as drinking not as bad as others.
Does anyone have any insights for coping with this insidious voice as I am truly sick of backsliding and am last drunk was in true despair and hopelessness
Thankyou everyone for being here!

[Dime]

Hi!

Boy can I relate to what you are saying. I did that for years. I eventually wound up in a detox hospital where members of AA visited said they had a solution. I finally gave it up and got some help. I got a sponsor on the spot and started to call him daily. I would up working all the steps and staying sober with no desire for alcohol at all.

For me the face to face meetings and the fellowship of AA really helped. There is no way I could have stayed sober without help. The fellow gave me the strength and courage I needed.

I didn't realize that all I had to do was ask for help and the solution was a lot easier than I thought. All I had to do was keep an open mind.

Good Luck

[CarolD]

Good to see you here again Rose....

Please check out this link of info....our Dee
rounded them up He is an Aussie too.
Look specifically at post 4.


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

All my best as you find your way into
a healthy sober future....

[Ninsuna]

Originally Posted by fragrantrose

Have to do something different going to AA this pm despite my mind telling me dont go as drinking not as bad as others.

I kept having those thoughts, that I was not as bad as others, until I realised that it is not how much, how often, why, or what I drink but what happens when I do. I battled that voice by reminding myself of the places alcohol took me and how completely helpless I was when under its' influence. They say listen for the similiarities not the differences, it helps.

[Nevertheless]

Going to AA will help a lot.
I don't know how many times you have tried to quit, but if you are like me a bunch.
To me the first 2 or 3 weeks are the worst. The last time I really thought about all the times I had failed (the triggers). I then avoided them like the plague the first few weeks. Every day it gets easier.
Something that helps me is to tell myself "drinking just isn't an option". If you really believe it soon you forget about it. If you start thinking your gonna drink, you probably will. When your brain thinks it just isn't possible to drink, it will quit listening to the " Demon"
Fred

[sailorjohn]

If you have reached that point of absolute desperation, you will stop drinking, and you will recover. The voice-that insidious whisper-tells nothing but lies.

AA is a great resource to have for recovery, and I would also mention, don't be afraid to get professional help.

[fragrantrose]

thankyou so much everyone for your thoughts, I am going to reread this thread when thinking starts, DRINKING IS NO LONGER AN OPTION
unfortunately Fred have too many responsibilities to go into detox
thankyou Carol and Dee for list of recovery resources am looking into them

[TheSunAlsoRises]

Hey just wanted to encourage you, it is hard when you have the illness your mind will tell you anything. I knew I wasn't as bad as others, I was younger than most... but the empty feeling inside was bad enough that I took the steps... I try not to trust my mind at all when it starts talking to me about boozing or drugs... it just lies... today I don't have to listen to it... AA is a great resource, go to several meetings. The first one you attend may not be the best one...

[coffeenut]

I did that for 30 years. Repented every morning and was drunk every night.

SR helped me. Welcome!

[littlefish]

I would suggest a step by step plan. You don't have to do it this way, but here is how my plan looked:
I made a doctor appointment first and had my liver levels checked. My levels were not dangerously high from alcohol, but they were elevated. I am very glad I started there, though, because I found out I have high blood cholesterol!

I called an outpatient addiction treatment center and made an appointment. The first appointment was a discussion with a doctor and then a therapist about my recovery plan. The center uses therapy and antabuse, campral or naltrexone if the patient desires.
I went to my first AA meeting.
I had already joined SR.
I did all of that in about a week. I had a tremendous feeling of relief when I did that.
It gave me a lot of hope to start taking those first initial steps towards change.
15 months later, I still go to the addiction center to meet my therapist once a week. And I still go to AA, now more meetings than I started out with.
I use other things in my program as well: reading recovery literature, visiting sites like the AA speaker site, and I also have an AA sponsor.
It can happen!

Oh, and last but not least: you might discuss with a doctor if you need an assisted detox.

[Dee74]

Please do check out those links, FR - they're not exhaustive but they're a good start.
Did you get to the AA meeting?

D

[soidog]

Originally Posted by keepcominback

In my experience, after drinking too much, the next day I have a physical craving, along with the mental obsession that drinking more alcohol will make me feel better.

The only way to eliminate the physical craving, is to detox, and not put more alcohol into the body. Then to stay sober is the key after that, dealing with the mental obsession.

I just don't think the physical craving the next day is just your thoughts. This is a two fold disease, physical and mental. Remove the physical craving, by stopping the alcohol intake, safe detox, then on towards mental recovery.

Can you go to your doctor for a safe medical detox, or other place? Good Luck!

Yeah, the first few days are the worst and toughest to get through. I slept awfully the first week or so of sobriety because I was so used to drinking myself to sleep. I wanted to drink so bad because I thought it would help me get to sleep, and I perform very poorly on little sleep. But I stuck with it because I knew that feeling tired was better than feeling tired and hungover.

After a few weeks, my sleeping pattern became regular, and within a month I was sleeping better than I had in over a DECADE.

Hang in there and remember there is a greater goal than just getting drunk again for the night!