Issues

[keepcominback]

Made it to my 30 days which is good, but accomplishing that in a weird way presented as, ok, done with that, maybe you can drink now.

I thought through, and chose not to, as it wouldn't make much sense in the light of my past truth and experience with drinking alcohol.

Thank goodness for being constitutionally able to be honest with myself, but it sounded like a good idea, drinking that is today. I even told my husband when his payday arrived today to go buy a case of heineken, and some ribeyes, like a let's just go big, like since when did getting drunk equate to going big, uh, always...he ignored me, which is a good thing, he knows when I am just angry, and that he didn't enable me is a good thing even though I got edgy wondering while he was at the store if he listened to me, what would I do if he did bring the beer home, would I drink it? He didn't, and that was a relief, yet I also questioned his selfishness, critical of the things he bought, just in a weird way today for sure!

So, need to find other "fun", rewarding, go big, type relief choices.

I realize that some things may have been bothering me the last two days, sponsor tried to imply that I wasn't sober, since I take "powdered alcohol", one 1/2 of a .5mg alprazolam per day, as needed for anxiety, md, knew my history, and said he would rather me take this than drink a 12 pack, or bottle!

Well, she said then I am not "really" sober, pissed me off, who does that, calls someone the day before their 30 days, and starts with them, trying to steal a milestone???

Went to a meeting today, one of those where people get to you, not sticking to the point of a meeting, ugh, rambling talk, almost left, then running into women that didn't treat me nice, in my opinion, then told my sponsor and she accused me of lying, and told me my perception sucks of others, that I am delusional, just more crap from her. I am not calling her now again, but then again, you are supposed to call when you are upset, so catch 22.

Oh well. All advice welcome Breathe!

[CarolD]

Pick up your 30 day chip wih your head high and a

I see no need to discuss my prescribed med's in AA.
My reatment for x or y or z is between my doctor and me.

Of course....a sponsors job is to take you thru the steps.
If that's not happening.....you may want to get another sponsor.

Congratulations on your 30 days....

[nandm]

I completely agree with Carol. Hold your head high and pick up your chip. Congrats on 30 days!

Here is what the Big Book says about medications:

On page 133 of the Big Book of A.A. it says in part:

"Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any dissipation.

But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitated to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward."

Reprinted from Alcoholics Anonymous, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

There is also an important piece of A.A. conference approved literature called "The A.A. Member - Medications & Other Drugs" that addresses these issues specifically plus issues of cross addiction. Here are a few excerpts:

"...A.A. members and many of their physicians have described situations in which depressed patients have been told by A.A.s to throw away the pills, only to have depression return with all its difficulties, sometimes resulting in suicide. We have heard, too, from schizophrenics, manic depressives, epileptics, and others requiring medication that well-meaning A.A. friends often discourage them from taking prescribed medication, Unfortunately, by following a layman's advice, the sufferers find that their conditions can return with all their previous intensity..."

"It becomes clear that just as it is wrong to enable or support any alcoholic to become readdicted to any drug, it's equally wrong to deprive any alcoholic of medication which can alleviate or control other disabling physical and/or emotional problems."

Reprinted from The A.A. Member - Medications & Other Drugs, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

[caleb76]

Congrats on 30 days! The next 30 days should be easier. My choice of drink was a cheap 12 pack. Maybe you could try some other meetings. There are meetings in my area that I am not very fond of, and the are meetings in my area that I really enjoy.

Keep up the good work.

[Dime]

Congrats on your 30 days!!

I remember having thoughts like that early on. My mind was very much racing and everything around me seemed to get on my nerves. I didn't realize it at the time but I was only seeing the negatives in everything thing around me. My body and mind were transitioning from having alcohol in my system all the time to having none. Eventually I began to notice all the positives things around me and I began to feel better.

Hang in there, it does get better!

[Wolfchild]

[barb dwyer]

yay for you ... and ... Keep Coming Back !

[mirage]

30 days is great news...congrats!

[Ninsuna]

Grats on your 30 days. Your sobriety is just that...YOURS, no one can take it from you.

[OzSandy]

My head played those games with me at 30 days... I gave into it a few times, which I regret now. All it does is impede overall progress in recovery. I still don't know how to deal with milestones all that well. May be a question I have to raise next time with my alcoholism counselor. I guess the key is doing something affirming to celebrate your new life sober. Congratulations, and I agree with what the others are saying about your medications.

[barb dwyer]

There's times I get so frustrated with my group...
I have to go hang out with another group for a while.

Problem is -
Butte isn't all that big a town
and many of the people on one group
are right there in other groups!
Same stuff, same annoying person...
different background...
that's why I was laughing.

Because when I finally calm down
I remember that
my frustration level with other alcoholics
is directly proportionate
to the quality of my Spiritual Condition ... at the time.

Then I get really annoyed....
and I go back to another meeting.

You've accomplished something -
go get yer dang coin!

[keepcominback]

Thank you everyone. I agree that I do have 32 days today that I have not drank alcohol, and that the other medical issue is between me and my doctor, and so I will keep it that way.

I did tell my sponsor that I posted here, and what I posted, that I was upset, and how I was feeling about her words.

Hopefully it will be the end of that subject with her. I understand she may have been just trying to help me, but of course I get defensive by nature.

Thanks for all of the advice, and support!