5 months and a blank canvass

[baldjim]

5 months and not drinking tomorrow

i try to write these things with the person who may be about to give up drinking and is wondering what to expect in mind

month one ,tired lonely ,a bit depressed and a bit of anxiety

month two...starting to fell better but still lonely

month three ,i found out my daughter was HIV+ and had a totally sober dreadful holiday

month four,my birthday i got through it sober,my daughter flies in we have a second HIV test and she is clear

month 5,break with partner of 13 years ,my daughter has to go back to the states and will probably go to an army jail

do you guys think i would of coped at all if i had been drinking

so here i'm at nearly 50 with a blank canvas and a new life ahead of me

a life i surely could not of seen or embraced had i been drinking ,i'm healthy for the first time in years and when my daughter gets back i will be able to help her start her life in earnest

my life may be a blank canvass but i'm able to paint a work of art or a masterpiece upon it ,and its all because i stopped drinking,most people get to my age and are starting to think of life nearly being over yet here i am thinking clearly and my new sober life is just begining i am that positive and happy about it,through the wreckage i will build a new life its gona be tough and there will be a few tears here and there but i'm up or the challenge

[Charmie]

thank you jim,keep on keeping on congrats on 5 months.

[TheSunAlsoRises]

Wow Jim, you have been through a heck of a lot in sobriety. It is inspiring to see your determination not to pick up a drink. Keep doing what you're doing, congratulations...

[CarolD]

Thanks for sharing your progress with us Jim....
Well done on your sober time.

[fragrantrose]

congratulations!!!!!!!

[smacked]

I love reading your posts, Jim

Hang in there, be kind to yourself.. you are doing great things with life.

[yeahgr8]

Great post mate:-)

[Trippstar]

grats on the 5 months jim keep it up !!!

[tigers13]

Congrats on your 5 months Jim...it takes a strong person to go thru all you have and to still stay sober!

[debs]

Great to hear the positive attitude. I hope things settle down for you very soon.

[littlebluedog]

Congrats.

[baldjim]

my daughter has just phoned me she is being taken to heathrow airport london then is being flown back to her army base where she will go to army prison

being sober and in good spirits this is very hard to deal with if i had been drinking i dread to think of what state i would of gotten into ,i would of drank untill i passed out then tomorrow i would of needed a hair of the dog as we brits say or in other words drink the drink you drank the day before to make you feel better,but of course it never does does it??

today i am all ready looking for things i can do for when my daughter gets out of prison ,things that will give her a chance to have the best life she can

if you are a drinker and want to stop this thread is for you its not really about me

you can give yourself a chance to solve your problems if you stop drinking

would you try to swim out to save your loved ones wearing hand cuffs and with your feet tied together???

if you drink and have a family that is pretty much what you are doing ,believe me i have tried both ways and i know which way works and which way you are doomed to failure ..honest i do please believe me

just stop its tough but it is the only way

[Dee74]

I'm sorry for your personal troubles, but 5 months is a great achievement Jim.
Congratulations

D

[Sikkisirus]

A great post Jim and congrats on your 5 months. Ive read some of your posts where you say you're not good at articulating things but you are mate, your posts are honest and inspiring. Keep it up

[FNW]

Your post is so inspirational, thank you! and congrats on 5 months!!

[caleb76]

Originally Posted by baldjim

my daughter has just phoned me she is being taken to heathrow airport london then is being flown back to her army base where she will go to army prison

being sober and in good spirits this is very hard to deal with if i had been drinking i dread to think of what state i would of gotten into ,i would of drank untill i passed out then tomorrow i would of needed a hair of the dog as we brits say or in other words drink the drink you drank the day before to make you feel better,but of course it never does does it??

today i am all ready looking for things i can do for when my daughter gets out of prison ,things that will give her a chance to have the best life she can

if you are a drinker and want to stop this thread is for you its not really about me

you can give yourself a chance to solve your problems if you stop drinking

would you try to swim out to save your loved ones wearing hand cuffs and with your feet tied together???

if you drink and have a family that is pretty much what you are doing ,believe me i have tried both ways and i know which way works and which way you are doomed to failure ..honest i do please believe me

just stop its tough but it is the only way

I have tried that hair of the dog! Not fun at all. Glad you are using your mind to cope with stress in different ways rather than drinking.

Keep up the good work.

[Bonkers]

Thanks for the posts. It's just what I needed as I approach 2 months of sobriety and was feeling a bit lonely and down. God bless.

[Nevertheless]

Hello Jim
I didn't realize you had been through such rough times. You sound very confident,like you know you are done with booze, (thats the way I feel). We have to watch out though, and not get too over confident. Never forget how bad this stuff(alcohol) is.
Congrats on 5 months sober. I wish you 500 more. That will make you around 91 (give or take a month or two)
Fred

[baldjim]

Originally Posted by Nevertheless

Hello Jim
I didn't realize you had been through such rough times. You sound very confident,like you know you are done with booze, (thats the way I feel). We have to watch out though, and not get too over confident. Never forget how bad this stuff(alcohol) is.
Congrats on 5 months sober. I wish you 500 more. That will make you around 91 (give or take a month or two)
Fred

thanks fred
i'm wondering although i had very bad liver high enzymes just how much other damage drink does to you ???


i seem to be thinking way to well for my moron brain


although i'm very pleased with myself for stopping drinking ,i am more proud of myself for managing to get a grip and force myself not to implode ,i have kept myself very busy and have done lots of things i would normally of put off for years,my ex is getting on with her life and i'm trying to do the same ,when my daughter gets released i will be ready to spring into action and help her get her life in order

normally i'm very harsh on my self and i'd even go as far as to say when i was drinking i hated myself but being sober now i can see i might not be such a loser after all

[baldjim]

Originally Posted by Bonkers

Thanks for the posts. It's just what I needed as I approach 2 months of sobriety and was feeling a bit lonely and down. God bless.

thanks bonkers

at two months i was just starting to feel healthy but was having anxiety feelings and felt down and lonely ,these feelings pass i promise but into my forth month my spirits soared so much so that i really got on folks nerves both on SR and real life by wanting to laugh and joke all the time

i still feel good even though i have broken up with my partner of 13 years and other stuff has gone wrong

i guess the biggest change has been a belief that even though things are bad i dont need to go and get smashed which will make things worse i know if i stay sober i believe i can fix the bad things in my life i dont feel like i used to ,that some how i was heading towards a car crash and just bracing my self for the pain of a bad impact i feel like i am able to steer around or put the brakes on and aviod these bad things from happening to me altogether

if you dont understand my moronic way of putting things no worries .... i know what i mean lol

i big turning point as well was my liver results came back really good and i did not have liver damage ,by the skin of my teeth i dodged the bullet again

my enzymes were 149 healthy is 44 my last test was 54 i think ,by now it should be normal again

mind you i'm never going to take the chance it will heal itself for a third time

[DesertKate]

Keep on truckin'.

[cambridge]

Jim that's really great that you have managed with all your troubles. It is truly inspiring to me and puts things in perspective.

also I like your picture, reminds me of another cool guy I know named Jim

[baldjim]

Originally Posted by cambridge

Jim that's really great that you have managed with all your troubles. It is truly inspiring to me and puts things in perspective.

also I like your picture, reminds me of another cool guy I know named Jim

no you mean brad pitt right lmao

thanks my friend

[jules67]

thanks for your honesty and openness it is such an encouragement to me.
julie

[shorn]

hey jim good to hear that even though life is throwing you some big chunks you have stayed sober. keep up the good work