When it rains it pours - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SelfSeeking · 10-21-2009, 04:18 PM

Hey... I haven't been too active of a member for quite a while, mostly I'm on lurk mode. But I need to reach out now, I'm grateful that this site is here.

I got a couple of bits of sad, bad news today, and because of recently developed health problems I can't utilize my usual very quick mood lifters that I adopted in sobriety: a)eat junk food or b)smoke a cigarette. Poor me right?

I have a meeting planned out. But for now I am just kicking around the house feeling sad. This is no way to go about coping.

I called my sponsor, pet my dog, and cleaned the toilet (yes it makes me feel better, I don't know why). And I am trying to hold on to the fact that feelings change, and I'm not going to feel like this forever. Hmm... I know there are other things but right now I can't remember them. I'm feeling quite foggy actually.

Suggestions?

kurtrambis · 10-21-2009, 04:24 PM

You can clean my toilet if you want to!!

Seriously though can understand the logic behind it. I find gardening helps. Like the sense satisfaction of getting a job done and looking on my handy work. Think in modern society its to easy devalue the wholesome so called ordinary things.

**Astro** · 10-21-2009, 04:26 PM

Prayer and meditation, Serenity prayer, call another alcoholic? You're doing all the right things, and I'm glad to hear you're going to that meeting.

Life on life's terms is a series of peaks and valleys, ebb and flow. And while we often say "this too shall pass" I'm sorry for your sadness and hope you find the peace, comfort, and serenity that you deserve.

Keep reaching out. That's good, simple recovery.

least · 10-21-2009, 05:21 PM

I have no words of wisdom, just a hug!

**Dee74** · 10-21-2009, 05:26 PM

I know I forget sometimes - when bad stuff happens, it's ok to feel sad.
That's the way the normal people do it.

I just have to make sure I don't go to the dark side to get out of the sadness.
You seem to be doing all the right things to me K

D

aasharon90 · 10-21-2009, 05:41 PM

Getting out of self takes work. Taking
the focus off myself and the "poor me's"
or in other words "pour me another drink".

Id walk in a meeting down on self, low
self-esteem and listen intentively to
others share thier own experiences,
strengths and hopes of what it was
like for them before, during and after
drinking.

Id always hear something to encourage
me to get thru the day.

Service work was always stressed
upon the newcomers. Empty ash trays
till it became a no-smoking meeting. lol
Greet the newcomer, and the best
one of all IS.....bring cookies...lol

I baked a many a times for many
meeting i went to. Doing that for
me was important because not
only did it keep me sober, but it
allowed others to see me as a new
comer continue to suit up and
show up to meetings.

I enjoyed that service work as
many others did to because they
looked forward to having something
to snack on with their coffee.

Mmmmmm good stuff in recovery.!

Bamboozle · 10-21-2009, 06:03 PM

Hey, SS.

**CarolD** · 10-21-2009, 06:13 PM

Prayers for your peace as you walk thru sad times.
Mega

navysteve · 10-21-2009, 06:30 PM

Help someone- Give a newcomer your phone number, ask for theirs, if they give it to you, call them, ask then how their day is going. It won't make your problems go away but it will make them a little more dealable

Believe808 · 10-21-2009, 06:34 PM

SS, I also live in the Northeast, in New Jersey, feel free to PM me and chat. I'm glad you are getting to a meeting, I know I ALWAYS feel better during and after one. When I have sad things going on, I have to force myself to reach out but I am so glad after I do. Reaching out to try and help someone else always takes me out of myself.

SelfSeeking · 10-21-2009, 10:07 PM

Thanks all!

That meeting was just what I needed... It was one I'd never been to before and it was good, gritty, action-focused. It got me out of myself. Prayer and meditation was the topic, which was funny because today I meditated on my 3rd step prayer and I hadn't done that for a while. It really did make a difference.

I guess I still have that alkie terror of bad feelings

"This feeling... it hurts! I must change it _now_!" But it didn't kill me, and it won't. When I called my sponsor one of the things she said was, Isn't it good that you can care so deeply? It _is_ good. The sh!tty thing that happened is still really sh!tty and terribly unfair. But I guess I'm glad I'm present for it. Getting trashed, eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and smoking have nothing to do with this thing that happened. Actually there is no need for me to be all mysterious- I learned today that someone I know, a really amazing, spectacular young person, died. So I guess the other thing I would like to say in this thread is to please remember this guy in your thoughts or prayers, as much as it is possible to do so from an internet message board

I never say stuff like that but for some reason, with this guy, it would make me feel better.

**CarolD** · 10-21-2009, 10:27 PM

On the death of loved ones ...I've foudn comfort in
Psalms 23
Prayers for the young man and those who cared for him.

ElegantlyWasted · 10-21-2009, 10:34 PM

Your friend is remembered... Any kind of endorphin producing exercise you could do?

barb dwyer · 10-22-2009, 05:20 PM

*prayers*

I have several friends who happen to be pretty seriously ill...
I go visit one of them when I get down.
or when I feel myself slipping away into the abyss of self-pity.

kind of the 'I complained about no shoes
till I met a guy with no feet' thing.

You've already GOT the largest part licked -
you know this too shall pass.

and it will.

10-21-2009, 04:18 PM	#1 (permalink)
SelfSeeking Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Northeast US Posts: 1,341 Blog Entries: 2	When it rains it pours Hey... I haven't been too active of a member for quite a while, mostly I'm on lurk mode. But I need to reach out now, I'm grateful that this site is here. I got a couple of bits of sad, bad news today, and because of recently developed health problems I can't utilize my usual very quick mood lifters that I adopted in sobriety: a)eat junk food or b)smoke a cigarette. Poor me right? I have a meeting planned out. But for now I am just kicking around the house feeling sad. This is no way to go about coping. I called my sponsor, pet my dog, and cleaned the toilet (yes it makes me feel better, I don't know why). And I am trying to hold on to the fact that feelings change, and I'm not going to feel like this forever. Hmm... I know there are other things but right now I can't remember them. I'm feeling quite foggy actually. Suggestions?

10-21-2009, 04:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
Astro Forum Leader Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family! Posts: 11,833	Prayer and meditation, Serenity prayer, call another alcoholic? You're doing all the right things, and I'm glad to hear you're going to that meeting. Life on life's terms is a series of peaks and valleys, ebb and flow. And while we often say "this too shall pass" I'm sorry for your sadness and hope you find the peace, comfort, and serenity that you deserve. Keep reaching out. That's good, simple recovery. __________________ "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---WOW-What a ride!"

10-21-2009, 05:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
least bona fido dog-lover Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: eastern USA Posts: 23,505 Blog Entries: 31	I have no words of wisdom, just a hug! __________________ I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

10-21-2009, 05:26 PM	#5 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,325	I know I forget sometimes - when bad stuff happens, it's ok to feel sad. That's the way the normal people do it. I just have to make sure I don't go to the dark side to get out of the sadness. You seem to be doing all the right things to me K D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

10-21-2009, 05:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
aasharon90 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Baton Rouge, La. Posts: 4,854	Getting out of self takes work. Taking the focus off myself and the "poor me's" or in other words "pour me another drink". Id walk in a meeting down on self, low self-esteem and listen intentively to others share thier own experiences, strengths and hopes of what it was like for them before, during and after drinking. Id always hear something to encourage me to get thru the day. Service work was always stressed upon the newcomers. Empty ash trays till it became a no-smoking meeting. lol Greet the newcomer, and the best one of all IS.....bring cookies...lol I baked a many a times for many meeting i went to. Doing that for me was important because not only did it keep me sober, but it allowed others to see me as a new comer continue to suit up and show up to meetings. I enjoyed that service work as many others did to because they looked forward to having something to snack on with their coffee. Mmmmmm good stuff in recovery.! __________________ "A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED" SHARON B. Baton Rouge, La. 8-11-90 I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily bases for guidance, care and protection.

10-21-2009, 04:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
kurtrambis Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Lincoln Posts: 214	You can clean my toilet if you want to!! Seriously though can understand the logic behind it. I find gardening helps. Like the sense satisfaction of getting a job done and looking on my handy work. Think in modern society its to easy devalue the wholesome so called ordinary things.

10-21-2009, 06:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
Bamboozle I got nothin' Duck Hunt 2 Champion! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: My house. Posts: 4,776 Blog Entries: 14	Hey, SS. __________________ A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

10-21-2009, 06:13 PM	#8 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 34,835	Prayers for your peace as you walk thru sad times. Mega __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

10-21-2009, 06:30 PM	#9 (permalink)
navysteve Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1,870	Help someone- Give a newcomer your phone number, ask for theirs, if they give it to you, call them, ask then how their day is going. It won't make your problems go away but it will make them a little more dealable

10-21-2009, 06:34 PM	#10 (permalink)
Believe808 Miracles Happen Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 9,977	SS, I also live in the Northeast, in New Jersey, feel free to PM me and chat. I'm glad you are getting to a meeting, I know I ALWAYS feel better during and after one. When I have sad things going on, I have to force myself to reach out but I am so glad after I do. Reaching out to try and help someone else always takes me out of myself.

10-21-2009, 10:07 PM	#11 (permalink)
SelfSeeking Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Northeast US Posts: 1,341 Blog Entries: 2	Thanks all! That meeting was just what I needed... It was one I'd never been to before and it was good, gritty, action-focused. It got me out of myself. Prayer and meditation was the topic, which was funny because today I meditated on my 3rd step prayer and I hadn't done that for a while. It really did make a difference. I guess I still have that alkie terror of bad feelings "This feeling... it hurts! I must change it _now_!" But it didn't kill me, and it won't. When I called my sponsor one of the things she said was, Isn't it good that you can care so deeply? It _is_ good. The sh!tty thing that happened is still really sh!tty and terribly unfair. But I guess I'm glad I'm present for it. Getting trashed, eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's, and smoking have nothing to do with this thing that happened. Actually there is no need for me to be all mysterious- I learned today that someone I know, a really amazing, spectacular young person, died. So I guess the other thing I would like to say in this thread is to please remember this guy in your thoughts or prayers, as much as it is possible to do so from an internet message board I never say stuff like that but for some reason, with this guy, it would make me feel better.

10-21-2009, 10:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 34,835	On the death of loved ones ...I've foudn comfort in Psalms 23 Prayers for the young man and those who cared for him. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

10-21-2009, 10:34 PM	#13 (permalink)
ElegantlyWasted Excellence... not Perfection Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: AZ Posts: 1,190 Blog Entries: 8	Your friend is remembered... Any kind of endorphin producing exercise you could do? __________________ "We're all told at some point in time that we can no longer play the children's game, we just don't...we don't know when that's gonna be. Some of us are told at eighteen, some of us are told at forty, but we're all told."

10-22-2009, 05:20 PM	#14 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 10,933 Blog Entries: 7	prayers I have several friends who happen to be pretty seriously ill... I go visit one of them when I get down. or when I feel myself slipping away into the abyss of self-pity. kind of the 'I complained about no shoes till I met a guy with no feet' thing. You've already GOT the largest part licked - you know this too shall pass. and it will. __________________ Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

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