what am i to do! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

probationsucks · 09-18-2009, 11:16 PM

Ive just been put on probation. I don't drink to get drunk and if I do decide to get drunk its because I chose to. I just like the "tipsy" feeling and know how to stay in that area.

Ive read a few posts in here and see people talk about how alcohol made them not do things as well as the sober people. Well im the exact opposite! Every time I drink I play games better, volleyball, sing and play my guitar, SEX!, it boosts my confidence extremely, I'm funnier and witty, and rids my anxiety. It's kinda like a legal xanax.

When im sober i don't know what to say and I'm usualy quiet and shy and feel awkward and not excepted.

WHAT can I do to be able to be my "tipsy" self without having to drink? I don't understand it. I honestly don't drink that much, at a party I could drink 3 or 4 and be completely content.

hendershot · 09-18-2009, 11:28 PM

I know for me, I developed a problem with alcohol (it didn't start out with one) and it was because it worked well for me. However, looking back, some of the benifits I had were illusury. Alcohol has a tendency to make us feel like we are really cool. The reality is a different matter.
I am not sure you can get the "tipsy" feeling you are looking for without alcy or drugs. Sobriety doesn't work that way. If you don't feel that you have had negative consequences as a result of drinking and you don't have a problem, you don't need to think about sobriety as any kind of long term thing.
The fact that it seems like alcy is pretty important to you and the fact you are posting on an addiction recovery site both raise red flags to me. But it is up to you to decide if you have a problem or not.
Welcome to the site, stick around, keep an open mind. I hope you find what you are looking for.

DayWalker · 09-18-2009, 11:43 PM

probationsucks- first off, welcome.

Quote:

Every time I drink I play games better, volleyball, sing and play my guitar, SEX!, it boosts my confidence extremely, I'm funnier and witty, and rids my anxiety. It's kinda like a legal xanax.

When im sober i don't know what to say and I'm usualy quiet and shy and feel awkward and not excepted.

I was the same way myself. Thought when I drank I did EVERYTHING better. Then I realized the only person that thought I was better at things was me. Everyone else saw how messed up I did things.

Question for ya. Since your obviously on probation (DUI i take it)...do you think your an Alcoholic? or?....

Just asking because if I don't then someone else will ask ya know.

Steve

Wolfchild · 09-18-2009, 11:46 PM

sailorjohn · 09-19-2009, 01:04 AM

Welcome!!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by probationsucks

Ive just been put on probation. I don't drink to get drunk and if I do decide to get drunk its because I chose to. I just like the "tipsy" feeling and know how to stay in that area.

Really? So I take it your current legal situation didn't involve alcohol? Or if it did, is was just really bad luck?

Quote:

Originally Posted by probationsucks

Ive read a few posts in here and see people talk about how alcohol made them not do things as well as the sober people. Well im the exact opposite! Every time I drink I play games better, volleyball, sing and play my guitar, SEX!, it boosts my confidence extremely, I'm funnier and witty, and rids my anxiety. It's kinda like a legal xanax.

Your thinking is a common fallacy and not supported by fact. The facts are, drinking impairs your motor skills, diminishes sexual response, and in general impairs your judgement, which would take care of the 'funnier and witty'. If you don't believe me, google it along with 'alcohol consumption and anxiety'. And Xanax, as prescribed by an MD, is quite legal. Things like drinking and driving and other antisocial behaviors are not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by probationsucks

I honestly don't drink that much, at a party I could drink 3 or 4 and be completely content.

Except for this one time when you were so unlucky and got into your current trouble. Please. Last time I looked, 61% of the adult population consumed alcohol in the last year at least once. Of all those drinkers, only a very small percentage of those ever got into any legal trouble because of their drinking. Only two conclusions you can possibly come to, one of which might be that you have a drinking problem.

This is the conclusion that the system comes to when you get arrested for an alcohol related offense. Consider yourself lucky, there are a lot of people in prison that got there under the influence.

If it's any consolation, I have yet to hear from anyone claiming they came to SR because they were having a bad hair day.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support, if you are interested in recovery. If not, you're probably just wasting your time.

**Dee74** · 09-19-2009, 01:10 AM

Hi probationsucks

Quote:

WHAT can I do to be able to be my "tipsy" self without having to drink?

I dunno - counselling might help you with your inhibitions when sober?

I tend to agree with everyone else here tho - I thought I was better at everything drunk - I wasn't...I have audio visual and anecdotal evidence to prove it.

If alcohol abuse is not a problem, please let us know how we can help you

D

penny74 · 09-19-2009, 02:59 AM

Maybe you should enjoy the high that being clean gives you.

"My yesterdays walk with me. They keep step, they are gray faces that peer over my shoulder."
William G. Golding

tricky164 · 09-19-2009, 03:09 AM

when i drank i danced better, looked better, felt better, sounded funnier, i was more confident, in control, in all a wonderful intresting beautiful human being,
"they cannot after a time differentiate between the true and false, to them thier alcoholic life had become the only normal one" doctors opinion pxx1v b.book. welcome !!

Sikkisirus · 09-19-2009, 03:57 AM

As SailorJohn says those pills are perfectly legal if precribed. Booze gives us the illusion we do things better, it makes us believe all kinds of nonsense. But its not true. For example I play for a hospital darts team in the pub and I shoot way better darts on my sober days than when I indulge.

**CarolD** · 09-19-2009, 05:11 AM

Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum....

Once I quit drinking...I found new ways to improve myself
including my social skills and self confidence.

For me...that happened when I began my AA committment.
I found a meeting full of other singles...we did all sorts
of things ...yes! we danced...laughed...played music...wemt
to concerts...plays...hikes.....all without the haze of alcohol.

Hope you too will find your way into joy!

tommyk · 09-19-2009, 07:40 AM

"I don't drink to get drunk and if I do decide to get drunk its because I chose to."

Me too. And after a while every time I had one or two drinks, I chose to get drunk.

Welcome to SR.

probationsucks · 09-19-2009, 09:03 AM

Well first off I want to say thank you for the replies and support. To answer a few questions.

-YES I do think I have a problem... Even if I don't "drink to get drunk" I still use it as a drug to make myself think I do things better. Hell, I bet if someone gave me nonalcoholic beer and I never found out I would get the same effect....

-My unlucky night was a time I chose to get drunk. It was my friends deployment party and figured it could be the last time I ever see him. I can lay the blame game and blame my "friends" who left me, or the people that didn't answer the phone when I called and forced me to walk home and wake up in jail not remembering a thing.. but I'm not.

I had 2 beers last night socially. completely sober I got the hottest girl there

. I just need to get over the fear of Foolin' Around sober. eeek.

Thanks again for all the helpful words.

McGowdog · 09-19-2009, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by probationsucks

Hell, I bet if someone gave me nonalcoholic beer and I never found out I would get the same effect....

This may be. If this is true for you, then you and I are way different. When my first marriage ended very abruptly, I was at my wife's boyfriend's wife's house discussing our thoughts on adultry. I was so overwhelmed by the feelings of "Phu#$-it" that I wanted a drink. It would have been my first drink in some 20 months. I asked her for a drink. She said, "Sure. I think A-hole has a beer in the fridge." So, then she looked at me and said, "No. You're in A.A. Don't drink over this. She's not worth it."

Well... I had to leave town because I honestly felt like killing some people, but I stopped off at every ATM I could and grabbed money out until it wouldn't spit me out anymore, bought a six-pack of "near-beer" and drove to my parents home 140 miles south where I could drink safely. Some of you can call this control or "choice." IDK. All I know is that I was shaking and seeing red and had adrenaline pumping through my veins... driving like a madman and slamming this rediculous near beer. I slammed 6 of them driving south and... I didn't even get a buzz of that garbage. It didn't feel good either. I felt full and bloated, but no buzz.

But I did go to the bar. And I did order some real booze and that felt different.

That's my experience. Honestly.

smacked · 09-19-2009, 11:47 AM

Every time I got drunk, I chose to as well. Do you think that some of us here had it poured down our throats, or that we got drunk on accident? lol..

I was under a lot of the delusions about how alcohol seemingly 'enhanced' my life socially, sexually, etc.

Now, having been sober for the past year or so I realize that the social lubricant that people feel when they drink, just makes them funny drunk people. It in no way enhances THEIR attributes, it just makes them act silly, and they think they're being funny. It makes them loud, and they think they're acting confident. It makes them say stupid **** and offend people and they don't even know it at the time or remember the next day anyways. Total turnoff.

As for the sex.. it may 'seem' better to you, maybe it gives you more confindence, who knows. I will tell you, in MY experience that the performance of a partner is much more enhanced with sobriety, not a few drinks that dull most of the sensory experience and give about the worst breath imaginable anyways.

Welcome.

AlwaysGrowing · 09-20-2009, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by probationsucks

"friends" who left me, or the people that didn't answer the phone when I called and forced me to walk home and wake up in jail not remembering a thing.. but I'm not.

I missed the part where they put the gun to your head and 'forced' you to walk..

Wait... They didn't,, maybe one might have to take full responsiblity.. Now that would suck!

Keep coming back! We do love ya!

Jeb18 · 09-21-2009, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dee74

Hi probationsucks

I dunno - counselling might help you with your inhibitions when sober?

I tend to agree with everyone else here tho - I thought I was better at everything drunk - I wasn't...I have audio visual and anecdotal evidence to prove it.

If alcohol abuse is not a problem, please let us know how we can help you

D

I've been talking to a counciler for a while now and it's been working very well. And he said the reason why I drink is because I have a pain (mentally) something that happened to me in the past that made me less social while sober. So maybe you can find that pain and forgive yourself and just learn to be more social without drinking.

I've also tried to find out ways how to get that tipsy feeling without drinking. Well my conclusion on that is its all in your head.

09-18-2009, 11:16 PM	#1 (permalink)
probationsucks Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 2	what am i to do! Ive just been put on probation. I don't drink to get drunk and if I do decide to get drunk its because I chose to. I just like the "tipsy" feeling and know how to stay in that area. Ive read a few posts in here and see people talk about how alcohol made them not do things as well as the sober people. Well im the exact opposite! Every time I drink I play games better, volleyball, sing and play my guitar, SEX!, it boosts my confidence extremely, I'm funnier and witty, and rids my anxiety. It's kinda like a legal xanax. When im sober i don't know what to say and I'm usualy quiet and shy and feel awkward and not excepted. WHAT can I do to be able to be my "tipsy" self without having to drink? I don't understand it. I honestly don't drink that much, at a party I could drink 3 or 4 and be completely content.

09-18-2009, 11:46 PM	#4 (permalink)
Wolfchild Disposable Hero Tournaments Won: 3 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Being, ME Posts: 3,758 Blog Entries: 3	__________________ Any clean addict is a miracle and keeping the miracle alive is an ongoing process of awareness, surrender, and growth

09-19-2009, 03:57 AM	#9 (permalink)
Sikkisirus Rockstar Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Wales, UK Posts: 631	As SailorJohn says those pills are perfectly legal if precribed. Booze gives us the illusion we do things better, it makes us believe all kinds of nonsense. But its not true. For example I play for a hospital darts team in the pub and I shoot way better darts on my sober days than when I indulge. __________________ Standing in a church makes you no more of a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. The past is a strange place. They do things differently there.

09-19-2009, 05:11 AM	#10 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 34,835	Welcome to SR and our Alcoholism Forum.... Once I quit drinking...I found new ways to improve myself including my social skills and self confidence. For me...that happened when I began my AA committment. I found a meeting full of other singles...we did all sorts of things ...yes! we danced...laughed...played music...wemt to concerts...plays...hikes.....all without the haze of alcohol. Hope you too will find your way into joy! __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

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09-18-2009, 11:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
hendershot Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Saint Louis, MO Posts: 285	I know for me, I developed a problem with alcohol (it didn't start out with one) and it was because it worked well for me. However, looking back, some of the benifits I had were illusury. Alcohol has a tendency to make us feel like we are really cool. The reality is a different matter. I am not sure you can get the "tipsy" feeling you are looking for without alcy or drugs. Sobriety doesn't work that way. If you don't feel that you have had negative consequences as a result of drinking and you don't have a problem, you don't need to think about sobriety as any kind of long term thing. The fact that it seems like alcy is pretty important to you and the fact you are posting on an addiction recovery site both raise red flags to me. But it is up to you to decide if you have a problem or not. Welcome to the site, stick around, keep an open mind. I hope you find what you are looking for.

09-19-2009, 02:59 AM	#7 (permalink)
penny74 Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 493	Maybe you should enjoy the high that being clean gives you. "My yesterdays walk with me. They keep step, they are gray faces that peer over my shoulder." William G. Golding

09-19-2009, 03:09 AM	#8 (permalink)
tricky164 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: london, england Posts: 187	when i drank i danced better, looked better, felt better, sounded funnier, i was more confident, in control, in all a wonderful intresting beautiful human being, "they cannot after a time differentiate between the true and false, to them thier alcoholic life had become the only normal one" doctors opinion pxx1v b.book. welcome !!

09-19-2009, 07:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
tommyk Awaiting Email Confirmation Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 2,942	"I don't drink to get drunk and if I do decide to get drunk its because I chose to." Me too. And after a while every time I had one or two drinks, I chose to get drunk. Welcome to SR.

09-19-2009, 09:03 AM	#12 (permalink)
probationsucks Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 2	Well first off I want to say thank you for the replies and support. To answer a few questions. -YES I do think I have a problem... Even if I don't "drink to get drunk" I still use it as a drug to make myself think I do things better. Hell, I bet if someone gave me nonalcoholic beer and I never found out I would get the same effect.... -My unlucky night was a time I chose to get drunk. It was my friends deployment party and figured it could be the last time I ever see him. I can lay the blame game and blame my "friends" who left me, or the people that didn't answer the phone when I called and forced me to walk home and wake up in jail not remembering a thing.. but I'm not. I had 2 beers last night socially. completely sober I got the hottest girl there . I just need to get over the fear of Foolin' Around sober. eeek. Thanks again for all the helpful words.

09-19-2009, 11:47 AM	#14 (permalink)
smacked Heathen Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: La La Land, USA Posts: 2,349	Every time I got drunk, I chose to as well. Do you think that some of us here had it poured down our throats, or that we got drunk on accident? lol.. I was under a lot of the delusions about how alcohol seemingly 'enhanced' my life socially, sexually, etc. Now, having been sober for the past year or so I realize that the social lubricant that people feel when they drink, just makes them funny drunk people. It in no way enhances THEIR attributes, it just makes them act silly, and they think they're being funny. It makes them loud, and they think they're acting confident. It makes them say stupid **** and offend people and they don't even know it at the time or remember the next day anyways. Total turnoff. As for the sex.. it may 'seem' better to you, maybe it gives you more confindence, who knows. I will tell you, in MY experience that the performance of a partner is much more enhanced with sobriety, not a few drinks that dull most of the sensory experience and give about the worst breath imaginable anyways. Welcome.

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