Telling my teens about being in AA?

[AnastasiaB]

Hi everyone,

I've been sober for almost 9 months. My girls are 13 and 16. They go to a Christian school and I was afraid my anonnomity would be compromised if I told them earlier.

I am ready to tell them now. They know I have been going to "meetings" but they don't know what for.

I was a big-time closet drinker, late at night in my room. I wasn't a black out drunk. I never drank in front of them. I'm sure they knew something was going on though and I'm sure they've noticed a positive change in me lately.

Anyway, ready to come clean with them. My sponsor and husband agreed it was time. And I've been praying about it.

Any tips?

[shaun00]

no tips...........just wanted to wish you well ...

and i hope it goes ok

god be with you all.....................

[Freedom1990]

You can't go wrong if you speak from the heart. My youngest daughter grew up around the rooms of AA. My oldest daughter was 8 when I first got clean/sober.

[CarolD]

I have no experience to share on your situation.
Hopefully other members will be along soon who do.

Well done on your sober progress
Blessings to you and your family

[cmc]

I think it's a wonderful gift, that goes both ways, when someone can share in the recovery of a loved one. Your girls would be able to see first hand, close up- how people who want to change _can_ do just that. How about taking them with you to an open meeting? After that it could be up to them if they want to to go again or maybe to try Ala-Teen for themselves.

[ANGELINA243]

Just be honest with your girls and answer any questions they might have. Also, inviting them to an open meeting is a good idea, as well as presenting Alateen info if they are interested. I purchased some Alateen info for my son to read if he wanted to...he did read a little bit but hasn't asked about going to any meetings....although he knows the option is still there. He has spent many evenings talking with me about my disease and trying to understand my alcoholism. Of course, it was no secret about my drinking--it was well known by almost everyone. Still, he trusts me now by me being honest with him about this that now he also comes to me when he has questions--mostly about basic teenage stuff. We never had such open communication before. That has been a blessing, the opportunity to have open communication with my son.

[digderidoo]

Thank you for this thread, i also need to speak to my teen kids at some point in the near future.

Paul

[spen71]

I told my step-kids the first time I went. I just found it easier or they would assume i was in a pub somewhere.

[Believe808]

I have been totally honest with my kids, you think they don't know what was going on but they really are smart. Ask God for the right words and then just be honest. They are old enough to understand. May God guide you.

[Mark75]

I have 4 kids... 14 thru 20. They all knew because I went to rehab for 2 months. I was a happy drunk, mostly agreeable and got along with all of them well... They didn't really know how out of control things got, but they knew something was wrong.

I was very matter of fact... I wrote them each a letter from rehab and told them why I was there, spoke openly about my experience there when I got home.... I show them the coins that I get each new month at my beginner's AA meeting... I may take my 19 yo daughter to one before she goes off to college.

I didn't and don't plan on discussing how far down I had gone... I could have gone down much farther, but still... they just need to know that:.... I got in trouble with pills and alcohol, I am going to meetings, staying sober and getting better... No big deal.

They ask if always have to go... I tell them it's sort of like church... they get that, they all went to catholic schools... still do actually.

Mark