BunnyLoves

I would down a beer or two first when my husband was in the bathroom or whatever, before having my 'few' glasses of wine. This was back when I convinced him I could control my booze intake so he'd let me have it.

Sudz No More

I did many of the things mentioned here but near the end it didn't matter how I hid it. My wife would take one look at me and ask me how many I had. I could have the most sober sounding voice and walk but there was still something she could see in my face. I got tired of worrying how many I could get away with, how many before I had that look. Which beers affected me the least but still gave me satisfaction. I always felt so damn triumphant when I got away with it but it was very rare near the end.

I don't want to experience that feeling anymore, I think it was worse than the cravings.

Soberpotamus

I didn't really hide it. But I work from home. So, I had it wide open. My boyfriend would actually buy bottles to stash and hide from me... so he'd have them ready when I demanded it, just not out in plain view so I wouldn't drink them all as fast as I could... sad I know. It was sort of a way to "control" my drinking... I knew they were in the house and I held off for as long as I could, then I'd ask for a bottle.... usually he'd stash them in a few different spots in the garage or closets. Once I hid one in my closet after a beach trip... I drank the entire bottle before going to meet his parents for the first time... I can't believe it but he never knew I had been drinking that night... crazy.

TwelveSteps

What's really ridiculous is that I thought I was hiding it when I must have smelled like booze (at least my breath) and a sober person probably could easily have told by my demeanor that I had been drinking. The insanity of alcoholism...

GG

SomethingBetter

I'm still finding empties, in the old boat, behind the fence, behind my desk, and havnt drank in months. getting rid of the empties was a chore as well as hiding them before there drank.

It was like running a business, exept it was the opisite of making money, but you had all these parts of it to do to keep it running smoothly.

I'm glad I finaly retired,

Mad4Chaos

For the last 5 or so years, I would buy a gallon of vodka & fill up the pint bottle I kept in my computer stand. So if my Wife walked in, she would just see the little pint bottle. Then when I was finished I would lock the computer stand telling my Wife I didn't want the kids on my computer. She even commented a few times that it as nice that I seemed to be drinking less. Sometimes it was tough to get that gallon in the house though. I'd have to wait until she started her laundry or was otherwise occupied before I ran out to the garage & sprinted back in with the gallon. It was ridiculous. The really awful part was when my sons were young & would ask why I didn't want her to see the big bottle of liquor. Thinking about that right now, all I feel is shame.

Englishrose70

Alcoholics become very good at hide and seek!

onlythetruth

Sure, I did that sort of thing. I even drove my empties to other neighborhoods to put them in other people's recycling bins. Sick but...well, not unusual for a closet drunk.

The good news is that you don't need to feel this way anymore. You really don't! One of the best things about being sober is that you can stop living that lie. This isn't a little thing, it's the best damn thing in the world.

Choose whatever pathway you like--it does not have to be AA (I was an AA member for 9 years, and am here to tell you that it isn't for everyone)--it can be whatever you want. AA, SMART, SOS, LifeRing, Rational Recovery are all fine if you want a "program" but many folks just use SR and are doing great. There is no one way that works for everyone. What those of us here who are sober have in common is simply this: a commitment to sobriety.

OTT

LovesToTravel

As we all eventually find out...you don't..you just think you do!

onlythetruth

Well, here's another example of the problem with talking in absolutes. We don't "all" find out that people knew we drank. After I quit drinking it became absolutely clear to me that in fact no one knew I drank heavily. Not my husband, not my mother, not my kids, not my friends, not the neighbors, not my inlaws (including my mother in law, who was an alcoholic herself). Was it willful ignorance? Maybe, but they did not know.

OTT

Zencat

First posted by WilburKookmeyer 05-31-2009, 11:57 PM. Although WK hasn't been around SR for a wile (hoping for him the best) good topic tho.

For the most of my past drinking days I would try to conceal my drinking only to avoid consequences of being drunk. Like drinking in public, around family that disliked my drinking, or even at work. Sometimes I wasn't confronted about my drinking/drugging, other times yes I was detected as being drunk.

The whole conceal deal was for me an attempt to continue doing what I wanted to do, propelled by addiction and not have to hear the concerns of my friends and family that did not approve of my drunkenness. Just one big avoidance of the truth that the way I drank was life threatening. Not only for me but for others around me.

A good illustration of avoidance and deceit on my part when active in my addiction.

MrDavid

Thanks Wilbur for the topic...

Hiding my shame wasn't easy. Why, you may ask??? My alcoholism was painfully obvious, that's why. It wasn't so much about hiding my embarrassments, but more about covering up the smell. That strange smell resonating from mouth wasn't pleasant. Something, we're all too familiar with. When that stale stench of last night’s alcohol lingers past anyone, people will take notice -just give them time.

What worried me the most -though, was the amount of alcohol I actually drank. I spent weeks clearing out my pad, and with good reason. It took me quite a long time just to get rid of all those empty bottles. I found bottles half empty and some completely full -Go figure. I could always find the empty ones but not the full ones. Here's the kicker...I lived alone, so why hide them to begin with. Can you say Freak...

Thank God, I don't have those worries anymore. Hopefully, not for today. I do hope everyone enjoys what's coming to us in sobriety, since most of us missed out on all those blessings because of our drinking.

~God Bless~

ReadyAndAble

I think coming here to post about it was a good first step out of those closets (both literal and figurative).

Glad you stopped back by SR, and hope you stick around. Reading other people's stories here was a big help to me. Made me realize how many people had been through the same thing... and found a way out.

EDIT: Ooops. Now I see how old the OP is. Hope he's OK.

Obviously a timeless topic.