thinking back to one year & five months ago

[FightingIrish]

I read a lot of good stuff on these boards. Lots of ES&H from people who have been sober for decades, years, even weeks & months who have gained an invaluable wisdom from their personal experiences in recovery.

I'm also seeing a lot of postings from people who are "new" (first time quitting, still drinking, can't seem to stop, can't put more than two weeks together) and who feel like they *know* for a fact what they need/what they don't, what will/won't work for them, etc. when it comes to recovery.

I am talking mainly about the anti-AA posts, but this also includes any manner of judging something before one has had any depth of experience with it. (I am not immune to this.)

I just had a recollection of a few years ago, when I was still drinking and not planning to stop; the man who would become my first sponsor suggested that I try an AA meeting. I think my response was something akin to snorting out my beer and saying, "that's all fine for people like *you*, but I have an Ivy League degree..."

At that time, however, I was not looking for any kind of solution because I didn't have a problem. At least, maybe I had a little problem but certainly was not an alcoholic.

I did not seek recovery until I was so beaten down into a state of reasonableness that I had no business rejecting what anyone had to offer. So I came to AA after a 30-day inpatient rehab (we'll see if it *really* worked...only sober a year and five months here...) even though I knew AA was a deeply flawed anachronism that should have died off years ago.

In other words, I swallowed my contempt of something I had no experience with whatsoever because I needed to save my life. That open-mindedness, combined with the willingness to persist in a few simple actions every day, is the key to my sobriety today.

Today I don't need to know anything: I don't need to know whether AA works or if my higher power is a doorknob or a pair of swim goggles. All I know is that I am sober and happy, joyous, free.

[CarolD]

I left my first AA meeting at half time.
Geez! I was not that sick

3 years later...I returned ...more depressed and suicidal.

I would have stood on my head and whistled Dixie
if that was what the AA's required....

No...all they asked was if I had a desire to quit drinking
if so... could teach me how they were succeeding.

I did and so did they.

Thanks for sharing FI....Forward we go...

[espresso]

"It works if you work it,
so work it, you're worth it!!"

[yeahgr8]

It's so true, i haven't gone to AA yet but have been going to counselling twice a week and am taking some meds. I would have done anything to sober up, i know some people don't like the phrase rock bottom, call it what you will, but even 4 months ago i would have said yeah im an alchie sad isnt it wish i could stop whilst raising a large glass of wine, and the rest, every night!

day 105, i'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to catch you up FightingIrish;-) Obviously one day at a time:-)

[Tazman53]

Congrats Irish & yeahgr8 on your sober time.

Irish I to was like you, I knew it all, I was well educated and was able to do anything I put my mind to....... except stop drinking. Oh trust me I tried for many years, all i succeeded in doing was drinking to the point of having to be medically detoxed in order to go a full day without a drink.

It sure sounds like you were granted the same great gift I was granted, the gift of desperation!!!!

I did not want to die!!! When I went to AA I was willing to try anything, I dropped all of my preconcieved ideas and prejudices I had and was willing to do what ever it took to get and stay sober.

Once I opened my ears and listened & apraoched it with an open mind I was able to see and accept that if all of those people in those rooms were staying sober and being happy to boot I was willing to do what they did.