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Old 09-17-2008, 02:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Question How do I fight the Friday and Saturday night boredom?

I have not had a drink in 12 days, and this is the longest I have ever gone since my alcohol problems started in college 5 years ago.

It's a pretty big deal, actually.

My problem is that I struggle so much on Friday and Saturday nights, with so much boredom that I want to cry. A few of the weekend nights I was just so bored that I forced myself to go to bed at 9PM.

Can anyone give me any advice or link me to a past thread that might shed some light on the issue of boredom?
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Old 09-17-2008, 02:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I don't know if your an AA person or not. I am, I have recovered from alcoholism. I work with a lot of folks sharing the path=12 steps. I have not been bored in years, maybe this would work for you.
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Old 09-17-2008, 02:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I'd like to know this one, too! I find myself feeling like the weekends just aren't as "fun" as they were before.
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Old 09-17-2008, 03:08 PM   #4 (permalink)
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My very good friend bought me an easel.

This weekend I am buying paints and paint brushes...oh and a canvas.

I was thinking about painting something beautiful... but a nice glass of red wine as i do it sounds really good... that's the problem...
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Old 09-17-2008, 03:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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There is a whole world of stuff to do now that the focus is off booze. Learn a new language, read, go to the movies, try a new diner, go shopping, go to a concert, get some rest, clean your home, volunteer your time, take art lessons, learn a musical instrument, cut the grass, make a new friend. You are alive - live!
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Old 09-17-2008, 04:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I find boredom a very big problem also. I've chosen this Sunday as by first "booze free" day. I'm hoping to get back into some hobbies I've thrown away. Is there anything that you would like to do just for yourself? I'm starting a model railroad that just cries out to be worked on!

If all else fails, I've found that a good meal and a good nap will at least put the beast in its box for a few hours.

If you choose to, an AA meeting can certainly help.

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Old 09-17-2008, 04:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
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You're absolutely right . . . 12 days is a HUGE deal. Keep it up for one more day and tomorrow you can say you have 13 days!

Boredom can be overcome! I cleaned my house (it was pretty bad), played on the 'net, but most importantly, I went to a lot of meetings. It was a great way to fill my time, learn how to stay sober and meet people who didn't drink. It takes time but stick it out and you'll find your way out of the boredom.

There's a guy at one of the meetings I go to who has over 20 years sober. He tells the story that when he had about a year of sobriety, one Saturday night, he shared in a meeting that he was bored. An old-timer shared back "The reason you're bored is because you are boring." The guy realized that the old-timer was probably right. There's not much that's more boring than a drunk!

Over time, you'll develop new friends and new interests. When I drank, the only thing I was interested in was drinking. Once I started to meet people, I had things to do and places to go and new interests to explore.

Go to an AA meeting and let people know where you are with your sobriety. Ask some folks (even if you don't know them!) if they want to go out for coffee, ice cream, dinner somewhere or a movie (take a newspaper with you so you have movie times). It's start and we all had to start somewhere.
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Old 09-17-2008, 05:34 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Fri. & Sat. nights I go to an AA meeting, afterwards I spend time with my children and girlfriend, we enjoy our time together. I'm still amazed that I'm not drinking at that time of the day, even after a few years of sobriety.

There's so much available to do with people in recovery. Going out for dinner, to movies, out for coffee, camping, campfire meetings, etc. etc.

Honestly, I haven't been bored in years, in fact there are times when I wish I could just relax and be bored for a few hours!
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Old 09-17-2008, 06:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Here is a list...done by SR members a few years ago...


150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

1. Read a book
2. Take a walk
3. Play a musical instrument
4. Knit
5. Clean your closets
6. Research your genealogy
7. Cook a gourmet dinner
8. Write an article for your local newspaper
9. Go take some pictures
10. Clean the mildew in your bathroom
11. Start writing that book you've been planning
12. Plan a garden
13. Plant a garden
14. Play with a pet
15. Read to a child
16. Visit someone in an old folks' home
17. Watch a news special on TV
18. Set up a family budget
19. Make a web site
20. Take up archery
21. Exercise
22. Go to an online recovery meeting
23. Surf the internet
24. Call your mom
25. Learn a foreign language
26. Write a poem
27. Play golf
28. Take a bubble bath
29. Draw
30. Teach a parakeet to whistle
31. Take a nap
32. Listen to music
33. Paint
34. Clean your desk
35. Start a stamp collection
36. Go window shopping
37. Browse in a book store
38. Go to an art gallery
39. Go for a drive
40. Paint a room
41. Watch the clouds go by
42. Play darts
43. Do target shooting
44. Do home repairs
45. Clean your garage
46. Sort your photographs
47. Make a scrapbook
48. Climb a tree
49. Plant a tree
50. Make marmalade
51. Make a list of things to do
52. Write a letter to the editor
53. Volunteer somewhere
54. Take a hike
55. Take a college class
56. Try yoga
57. Meditate
58. Get a massage
59. Make fruit smoothies
60. Bake cookies
61. Do a crossword puzzle
62. Go to the gym
63. Plant a color bowl
64. Sharpen your pruning tools
65. Change your engine oil
66. Sew
67. Groom your dog
68. Go see a play
69. Write a sonnet
70. Sort your recipes
71. Play solitaire
72. Go bird watching
73. Write a letter to a friend
74. Read a poetry book
75. Repot your houseplants
76. Go to a movie
77. Mow your lawn
78. Put up (or take down) your Christmas lights
79. Make pickles
80. Go jogging
81. Watch sitcoms
82. Plan menus for a diet
83. Do a jigsaw puzzle
84. Play chess
85. Write a country-western song
86. Watch a video
87. Go for a bike ride
88. Plant an herb garden
89. Start an online journal
90. Dye your hair
91. Go to a restaurant
92. Lift weights
93. Bake some bread
94. Learn a martial art
95. Polish the furniture
96. Make a flower arrangement
97. Read the newspaper
98. Start some seeds
99. Sort your magazines
100. Do some laundry.
111. Take a nature walk
112. Play with your kids
113. Volunteer at a homeless shelter
114. Volunteer at a school
115. Pick up garbage in a park
116. Tickle your kids
117. Play basketball
118. Volunteer at an animal shelter
119. Read to a child or pet
120. Sign up for obedience training with your dog
121. Take a walk and pick up litter you see on the way
122. Spend time at the library
123. Sort all your digital photos and make an album to print for holiday gifts to family.
124. Help your kid organize his closet.
125. Figure out the melody and chords to your current favorite tune on the piano.
126. Practice your holiday cookie recipes
127. Make crackers from scratch (that one didn't go so well).
128. Make tortillas from scratch (better).
129. Reread a book you haven't read for years.
130. Tango
131. Learn about someone else’s religion.
132. Reread one of your college textbooks.
133. Key out a wildflower.
134. Do your nails.
135. Do word puzzles.
136. Play a board game.
137. Burn CD’s of some of your favorite music for a friend.
138. Plant a bonsai.
139. Play Mad Libs.
140. Speak only in heroic couplets for an hour.
141. Read poetry online.
142. Ride a stationary bicycle.
143. Set up a domino topple.
144. Play backgammon.
145. Build a house of cards
146. Make an entry in Wikipedia.
147. Read a world almanac.
148. Publish a family newsletter.
149. Throw cards at a hat.
150. Go to bed.
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Old 09-17-2008, 06:47 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I usually just go to a meeting and hang with the sober folks,I realized years ago i really do not do well getting / staying sober all by myself
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Old 09-17-2008, 07:00 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome and congrats on your sober time.

Like it's been said, many of us have to get used to living sober. Once I got past the initial shock of quitting, I was able to settle into a new way of life. AA really helped me.

It took time, but I can now enjoy my weekends without drinking. In fact...I enjoy them much more now that I'm sober.

For many of us, it took a long time to get sick. It takes time to get better.

One thing that helped me in early sobriety was to write a list of things I'm thankful for.

Wishing you the best as we head into the weekend....keep coming to SR for support and help. There are many of us who use the website on the weekend. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! KEEP WORKING AT IT!! You can be an inspiration and help for others who share your struggle.
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Old 09-17-2008, 08:39 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Keep your hands busy and the mind will follow
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Old 09-17-2008, 11:04 PM   #13 (permalink)
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My area has just started Friday and Saturday night 10 pm meetings, which really help me. So check your area for late night meetings like that. If they do not have those, then go to a business meeting for your local AA group and suggest ones on a trial basis.

I have found that I have to keep myself extremely busy on the weekends. I paint a lot more, and I am teaching myself the piano, which is extremely calming when the anxiety comes about from not drinking.

- RR
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Old 09-18-2008, 06:57 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Life is too short to be boring.
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Old 09-18-2008, 07:17 AM   #15 (permalink)
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CarolD: that's fantastic!!! I'm going to cross a new one off the list each day. .. thanks!
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Old 09-18-2008, 07:26 AM   #16 (permalink)
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check the boards at your meetings if you attend , sometimes theres dances on weekend nites that you can go meet others like yourself and have a great time not having to worry bout being asked " can i buy you a drink " . and there fun .. nutin like watching a bunch of people just being them selfs an haveing a great time at it !
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Old 09-20-2008, 05:29 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I have the same weekend boredom issues. I am accustomed to keeping awake until dawn on friday and saturday's. Getting excess energy on the weekends, I have noticed that the excess energy was well spent on over-thinking,pacing the carpet,smoking, things of that nature BUT NOT alcohoL! . Over the course of months,and years I will guess that you will be able to find something that will occupy your time. I haven't got a whole lot to do myself! Because the lifestyle of weekend party's and shakers was all that I knew since I was 13 years old!

Even though I am sobor 1 month I don't have peace of mind. Other people's ignorance defeats MY resolve on the weekends but I WILL NOT pick up a bottle for any human being on this earth. I will suffer through anything, even if it means death before I pick up another drink that's how badly I hate alcohol now.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:02 PM   #18 (permalink)
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for me theres a lot of great ideas on here..in early recovery i made a lot of good peole in a/a and n/a.fiays and sat evenings id attend speaker meetings,volunteered to help out make coffee and clean upand inside i cleaned up listening to the love and strength of others stories til i had one of my own.now that im more strong i work on me on my time off..ive organized my closets and treated myself to a makeover.started jounaling and made new goals for the new person ive become.im not dating right now because i found that i know really what i want out of life first.i was wondering why i kept ending up in the wrong relationships now i know i was picking people for the alcoholic addict i was not me.carols list im gonna check out too my theres a lot too do i didnt even think of...take youre time youre it will come to you i didnt take overnite to get us where we were so it'll take oneday at a time to get where we want to be.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:45 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Friday I always go to a meeting and do something after... we have more fun laughing our asses off at a restaurant/coffee shop sober than I ever did in the bar. I stress going to meetings... I am in college right now and there's 20,000 students there... I know 2 other guys there in AA, so I am outnumbered and I have to stick with the winners if I want to survive. I don't really get bored or lonely much anymore though... even if I'm by myself there's stuff to do. Nothing wrong with going to a coffee shop by yourself to spend the evening with a $5 drink and a book.
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Old 09-20-2008, 06:55 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Michaels is a great place to go also, when I was first in recovery I started making so many things, chalkboards, flip flops, magnet boards, soap, jewelry boxes, earrings, necklaces, keychains, etc. The more stuff I made the more ideas I came up with then
I ran out of time! I made some money selling the stuff too!!
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Old 09-20-2008, 07:31 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Lots of good suggestions here to combat boredom. I often find myself bored and not even wanting to do anything. So I walk my dogs. They need the exercise and quality time with me, and walking them is always fun, so giving them an extra walk is always apreciated.

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Old 09-20-2008, 07:56 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Video games for me! Woo hoo!
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Old 09-21-2008, 12:44 AM   #23 (permalink)
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ugh I have this same problem and its really bad right now.

yeah im totally addicted to Michaels & Target and decorating and cleaning DURING THE DAY

but at night, on the weekends, when i get home from work (serving tables wine and drinks) and being stressed out by mean customers and crappy tippers,
its usually like 11. right now its 11:38.
Everyone else (friends) is out partying, drinking or not. No one is home, no one is online or on AIM or myspace, and I can never sleep. Watching TV or movies gets me too excited and amped so I cant sleep even worse but stuff like warm milk doesnt get me to sleep-
even if i did get to sleep, seeing as tho i woke up at noon itd be like taking a nap and id wake up at 3am. The liquor store is open til midnight on weekends, so the temptation is horrible.. but i know that in 20 minutes there will be no way to get a drink even if i give in. WHICH im not going to tonight.

My problem tonight isnt the fight- ive already made my decision to not drink...
my problem is what to do!? does anyone else have this problem especially on weekends?
weekdays are fine but on weekends theres no one to call, no one to hang out with and theres nothing to do this late. Maybe the gym but i went earlier and itd probably amp me up and i'd never sleep. I think im just lonely and bored. I feel like ive read the whole internet, my house is immaculate, ugh.
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Old 09-21-2008, 02:00 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RufusACanal View Post
There is a whole world of stuff to do now that the focus is off booze. Learn a new language, read, go to the movies, try a new diner, go shopping, go to a concert, get some rest, clean your home, volunteer your time, take art lessons, learn a musical instrument, cut the grass, make a new friend. You are alive - live!
Learn a new language? Take art lessons? Volunteer? Learn an instrument?

You inspire me Rufus.
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Old 09-21-2008, 03:17 AM   #25 (permalink)
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CW...if you can't find something from that list of
150 ...I have no clue.

I did quit working nights in a restaurant
and took an office job. Have you thought of that?
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