Motivation

[Em002]

I was just wondering what finally gave you the motivation to quit drinking?
I know that I need to stop, and I know that the amount I drink is unhealthy but I just can't stop because I don't want to stop drinking. I say I don't want to stop but a part of me does because I don't want to get into situations again that alcohol has gotten me in.

[Signal30]

Well in AA we have a word that means the same thing as motivation, willingness. You have to have the willingness to want to stop drinking. I know that in order for me to be able to quit drinking I had to be willing to go to any length to be and stay sober.

Most of us found that willingness or motivation through utter desperation. I know my motivation was found because I could not handle how my life was and my drinking was slowly killing me. I knew that if I didn't stop drinking I was going to die. A lonely miserable death. I hit my bottom.

When my son was a baby I had to make a choice. I was either going to continue to drink myself to death, or I was going to find the solution that so many others have found. I told myself that my son wasn't going to have the father like I had.

Later on in soberiety, I learned that I couldn't just do it for my son and family but I had to do it for me. When I put my soberiety first, I became a better father, son, husband, friend, etc.

Willingness, thouroughness, and honesty. Those are some of the key factors required for success.


Tom

[Pilgrim]

Hi Em,

Usually our motivation comes from a self imposed crisis. Maybe health or maybe fear of losing a job, house, relationship.....

For me my health was in bad shape, I knew I couldn't hold down a great job I had been offered, my business was in trouble and I had fallen over in the gutter one night. My relationship with an alcoholic was all but over. In the middle of being picked up out of the gutter, I had a moment of clarity about my drinking. I saw myself very clearly and woke up knowing I had to stop.

But that wasn't enough. I kept drinking even then. I found I couldn't stop when I wanted to. If I did stop for a while, I couldn't stay stopped. Then came the horrible part. Drinking when I didn't want to. I thought about ending my life then.

I was lucky. I reached a point one morning when I became willing to go to any lengths. It was just some random morning but when I look back now it was like the day I was born. I became teachable. I couldn't imagine drinking any more because life was such hell and I couldn't imagine a life without alcohol. They call it the jumping off point. I call it salvation.

Good luck in your search for motivation.

xx

[Rusty Zipper]

nice see'n you steph!

EM, for me, it was shear exaustion...

as a life'r, i couldnt keep up the esionage, chicanery, lies, being a theif, ect... anymore...

it was willingness to surrender to it all, or die very soon, a alcoholic death!

happy i did, and you can do it also!

good wishes EM

blessings

zip

[tommyk]

Health reasons and 'enough was enough'.

[ScoobaDoo]

Hey Em
I felt exactly the same way. I kept trying and kept falling. The harder I tried the harder I fell, because deep down I wasn't ready. I don't know if I still am because the alcohol buffered all the emotions. But living Life without emotion sucks! The good and the bad. So, the one thing I am positive about is that I want to change and am willing to continue to do whatever I can to do so, day by day. So, I am on Day 3 (again and again) and I feel good. I am willing to not drink today and that's all that matters. Look hard and honestly at yourself and you will too find it in you someday.

[ananda]

hope

I finally beleived that there was a possiblity that I could be sober...before that I thought it would work for everyone else but not for me....

[51anna]

I think it finally hit me, that everything in my life was precarious and this was my last chance to turn things around.

[Bard]

I say I don't want to stop but a part of me does because I don't want to get into situations again that alcohol has gotten me in.

The part of you that wants to stop is your more rational side, the real you. The other side is what I like to call the inhuman side. That little beast that constantly craves alcohol and wont give you a moments peace till you feed it what it wants.

As for my own motivation I various reasons for me to hang it up and step out of the ring of professional drinking, I probably echo everyones else's own answer here. Granted I'm back on day 4 but I'm approaching this with a whole new attitude. Before hand I usually would have my self set up for failure, not having a plan for cravings. Just hoping to ride it out and they wouldn't be that intense. But this time I am better armed for it. We still have a long life ahead of, lets not drink anymore of it away then we already have.

[tommyk]

"I don't want to get into situations again that alcohol has gotten me in."

Focus on that, dwell on it.

[CarolD]

Hmm...
3 stays in mental hospitals
3 suicide attemps
Got fired
All directly related to drinking.

....I felt my brain was saturated
My soul had withered. Constant depression.

Depression is why I decided to quit..

And I was astounded to face the fact
that I could not simply give up alcohol.

Geez! I needed a structured program of recovery!
For me....it's been an awesome AA adventure.

Thanks for letting me share...

[gravity]

On December 16, 2007, I finally accepted that I cannot drink alcohol without going on a lengthy bender. Even if I did manage to have a couple of drinks and stop, the false confidence would build and I would eventually go on that bender. I have absolutely no doubt about this (tried to convince myself otherwise for years). I was at the point where I accepted that alcohol has zero positive consequences for me, all negative and in a major way.

Initially, I really felt backed into a corner. I really felt that either way, it was Hell. A drunken Hell or a sober Hell. But, In my heart, I knew that the drinking path would only get worse and that I had to do “whatever it takes” to accept permanent sobriety, to live a good life. This was and is my motivation.

At first, what I was lacking was hope. So many failures, “I have to do this but I can’t do this” kind of thinking. It was other alcoholics in the AA program and here at SR that gave me that initial glimmer of hope.

It takes work, but I’m doing okay. Whenever I start feeling sorry for myself, I just remember where I was last December. I never want to go back there.

Life is good.

[ScoobaDoo]

Originally Posted by Em002

I say I don't want to stop but a part of me does because I don't want to get into situations again that alcohol has gotten me in.

One last thought, whatever situations or dangers you are putting youself in will only get worse. You can set Rules, but eventually, like me, you will probably break them. It seems that you want to learn to continue to drink safely, but can you? Only you have that answer. For me, and probably for most here, the answer is no. We have to stop or we risk more dangers and misery in our lives.

Good Luck - Find Strength!

[Jfanagle]

Em,

I was no longer who I had been and I was unable to face who I had become. I hadn't lost "things" in fact my life looked pretty good from the outside, but I knew I was better than who I had become.

When I walked into AA I just wanted to learn to drink "better". I thought I just needed to learn to "control" my drinking. After 90 days and more than 90 meetings I learned that I couldn't drink, but more importantly I found out I DIDN'T HAVE TO DRINK.

That was a few years ago, but I have to agree with the previous posts, it is all about YOUR WILLINGNESS and you have to do it for yourself.

Jon

[nandm]

For me it was a matter of I realized that my drinking was just a slow suicide which was not only killing me but everyone who cared about me. I was terrified because I knew that I could not continue drinking but I also knew I had no idea how to live without drinking and not be miserable.

Fortunately I found a solution, for me it was AA

[bballdad]

life or death
if I kept drinking I knew I was going to die.I was sick of the booze,people,drugs and the whole lifestyle

[RufusACanal]

At some point, you realize that you are full, you have drank all you will ever need to.

[ducks1]

Hi EM!

For me the decision to stop was and is based on my health concerns (see my post titled "spider angiomas") related to liver disease. I finally had a strong resolve on June 6 of this year. My plan was that on Saturday, June 7th, I would finish off what remained of a half gallon of Absolut- about what I guessed would be three to four good stiff drinks (probably nine to twelve drinks by accurate measurement). It was four stiff drinks worth, but I had probably three stiff drinks left when I got up to go golfing Sunday morning. Without much thought I emptied the remainder contents, opened and drained (down the sink) the remaining five beers in the fridge, got dressed, and left. I haven't had a drink since. What remains is a lot of anxiety with some depressive moments. Hopefully these feelings will pass with time, but I am proud of my resolve and ability to stick with it.

You can do it too! You need (I believe) a really good reason that you can cling to- like life! I wish you the very best with what I know will be a very difficult first step.

[steamvessel]

I always envisioned the person I could be, and I would have to be sober to get there. That was the starting point, then realizing I needed to stop, then coming on the board and reading all the inspiring stories on this board from people who have refound themselves through sobriety.

[LibertyorDeath]

I also knew I needed to stop...for a long time. Something clicked for me this past spring. My motivation was a whaling hangover. I'd had hundreds before. This one really spooked me.

I was walking around, hungover, at a theme park on my son's second birthday thinking....this is such BS. My stomach was boiling. I was sweating. I had a tingling sensation in my hands and feet. I felt like ****. I looked like ****. This was his special day and I went home and got drunk again!

The next day I prayed. I went on line. I found SR and today is day 70 for me. I cannot drink again. I love life too much. I work at sobriety every day and even though I have had some really bad ones....drinking is not an option. It never can be for me again.

All the best to you!

Liberty~

[Cathy31]

Originally Posted by nandm

For me it was a matter of I realized that my drinking was just a slow suicide which was not only killing me but everyone who cared about me.

I was terrified because I knew that I could not continue drinking but I also knew I had no idea how to live without drinking and not be miserable.

Fortunately I found a solution, for me it was AA

This is true for me too, thank God!

Cathy31
x

[Em002]

Thank you everyone for all the advice. Its hard to reply because of all the responses I got! Like a lot of you said I just have to get the motivation or willingness to know that this is not me and there is more to life then drinking. Part of me just wants to keep trying to just moderate my drinking but I know that that won't work and i'll end up in the hospital again. Thanks again!