The Voice

[LibertyorDeath]

Lord what is it about Fridays??? They are the absolute (no pun) worst for me when it comes to cravings. That drive home on that winding road. I see my self stopping for beer…a six pack or two. I joke with the cashier. I don't need a bag. I am proud. I see myself going outside on my porch…tipping a few…Listening to the radio. Maybe I’d smoke a few cigarettes. Maybe more~ Maybe I'd call an old friend.

I tell myself I’ve earned it. I tell myself it wouldn’t hurt. I feel so in control of everything. I feel sophisticated. I hear my boot heels on the wooden porch as I walk to the far side to look out at the road. I see the American flag billowing and I feel like I am doing what so many Americans are doing tonight. I belong. I've worked so hard all week. I need to unwind. I’ve earned it, by God! I can see the colorful porch lights on as twilight falls. No one can stop me. I am on fire.

The voice of reason came into my soul and told me things. It reminded me that tomorrow was another day. It told me that if I could just pass by that store and head on home I‘d be better for it. It told me that my vision was skewed. What I saw was a distorted image....a lie. It reminded me that I have come a distance. It told me I’d lose my spirit if I got drunk tonight. It told me that if I drank tonight I’d probably drink tomorrow too, because it knows me well. The voice knows me.

I choose to remain sober tonight, Friends. I CAN do this! (And YOU CAN TOO!)

[sobergirl77]

Thanks for sharing this... you definitely aren't alone with those awful demons!

[beingjenagain]

"noone ever regrets not drinking"
Thanks for the honest Friday assessment that so many of us face at the end of a work week

[jstme]

"The voice of reason came into my soul and told me things. It reminded me that tomorrow was another day. It told me that if I could just pass by that store and head on home I‘d be better for it. It told me that my vision was skewed. What I saw was a distorted image....a lie. It reminded me that I have come a distance. It told me I’d lose my spirit if I got drunk tonight. It told me that if I drank tonight I’d probably drink tomorrow too, because it knows me well. The voice knows me."


Thanks Liberty,
It's always that little sump'in sump'in I like to hear.
Sober tonight, wake up feeling great tomorrow!

Sobriety is so awsome!

[Pinkcuda]

I knew there was a benefit to drinking every day. When I quit Fridays and weekends meant nothing and I didn't have to struggle with them.
There was also a benefit to being reclusive and drinking alone at home. I didn't have to give up my social life.
Keep the faith!

[serenityqueen]

Very strong message there, Liberty.

I remember when I thought my "reward" for putting in a week at work meant sitting around, whether it be in a bar or at home on the porch with so called friends and neighbors (I used to have a porch just like you described) or towards the end, isolating and drinking alone . . . behind closed doors. Funny, looking back, I was always alone. Just like the woman in the above pic. Sitting alone, nothing but a cloud of smoke to keep me company, the only thing I had to look forward to was emptying that ashtray.

My how times have changed. My "reward" now for putting in a good week at work? Going to my 5:30 meeting, hanging around trying to decide which restaurant we are going to grab a bite to eat at. (Always end up going to the same one by the way) After we all talk some more in the parking lot of the restaurant, sharing one last laugh and hug, we all go our seperate ways. Once home, a long hot bath with lots of bubbles and a good book puts the final touches to the end of my work week. And when I do have my alone time at the end of a week of on the job madness, I enjoy it.

Am I growing old? Nope . . . . I'm simply growing.

God Bless,
Judy

[LibertyorDeath]

Lord, what a beautiful Saturday morning. I have plans for this day...but for now~

It's quiet outside...no cars headed to the lake yet. I hear birds singing their morning songs and it's a joyous and blessed sound. The sun is still behind the trees casting shadows of their leaves on our house. How profoundly beautiful!

My family sleeps...my husband of 20 years and our three young children. Soon this old house will come to life with the child-song and laughter and with the smells of a hearty family breakfast. I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams, Lord. I am humbled.

Thanks, SR Friends for your replies. You have helped me in countless ways over these past few weeks. I am grateful for you.

[Fulldresser4]

Liberty, thanks for these words..I never thought of it this way...
"This old house will come to life with the child-song and laughter..."
I, too, am humbled. Thank you for opening my eyes.

[serenityqueen]

You put into words so beautifully how I feel in the mornings.

I love to wake up early, before the sun comes up. At this time, I read my daily readings in my meditation books and work the rest of my Morning Program. When the sun comes up, I feel rested, rejuvinate, ready for yet another day of this beautiful life God has Blessed me in Recovery. I used to hate the sound of the birds in the mornings, now, I love to hear their good morning choir singing the praises of life.

Wishing all who read this a beautiful, peaceful day celebrating life!

God Bless,
Judy

[22NGONE]

Liberty,

Thanks for these great posts, they meant a lot to me. I too thought I was living the dream every weekend, then every day... and...in truth... I was just alone with people in my head. Now I am not alone and people are in front of me... they're called friends... what a novel concept! Thanks to God and A.A.

John