A dose of humility, anyone?

[barb dwyer]

So I'm sitting here at work
(which is my laughing reference for sittin online reading here at SR)

... and a man comes in to get a room.

Fine, says I and etc. and so on.
He has to have a handicapped accessible room.
Okee doke ... bla bla ...

very friendly fellow.

From which I almost immediately knew he was Canadian.
(LOL for those who get it)

So he begins telling me about the drive
(which could be from anywhere)
and that he'd been in LA for a couple of months.

His wife, you see.
Had special treatments in a hospital/therapy center there.
They were going home.

She's a quadraplegic.
Hence needing the accessible room.

She was hit by a drunk driver a few months ago.

KA BONG!
Hello, God.
I'm listening now.

We stood and chatted while I got all the paperwork going and everything, then his two children came in.

Do I really NEED to say anything else?

I met the Missus ...
we kinda looked at each other.
I can't explain this other than ... people who have ... died ...
we seem to 'know' each other. There's some kind of 'glint' in the eye.
Kind of like when a horseman recognises another horseman.
That kind of thing.
So we chatted a bit while her husband parked the truck.
Amazing personality.

I didn't give any confessions or anything like that.
I'm not here to teach them anything.
Hell, THEY are HERE to teach ME, I figure.
I mainly watched these people interact with each other.
With these eyes that The Infinite saw fit to rip yet another layer of pride and self importance off of tonight.

I could 'feel' ... how they were so very positive because they KNEW how close they came to not being together any more. I could 'feel' their quiet but very present ... gratitude to be able to be traveling together.

Normally, you can bounce rocks off my ego.
My pride can and has withstood nuclear blasts ...
Not tonight.
Their gratitude and love granted them all a grace ...
that filled the room around them.
She saw me know it for what it was.
She knew I knew the deal.
I really liked her.

I could only thank The God of my understanding tonight
for putting them in my path.
What a lesson.
How very lucky I am I could be shown in such a loving,
healing way how easily I could have killed someone.
Changing the entire life of each of those children.
That husband.
Her mother.

How right it is that I no longer drink.
How appropriate it is that I DO spend the time here, sharing and reading.

Angels, angels everywhere.
Can't swing a dead cat without hitting one any more.

Thanks everyone.

[barb dwyer]

oh.

I forgot.

I posted that because it hit me like a ...
ok. Bad metaphor, there.

SHE .. is who I owe the quality of my sobriety to.
Her children.
Her husband.
Her mother.

SHE ... is why I say the same things over and over.

I thought maybe if I shared her ... with you ...
posters - lurkers - shoulder monkeys ...
in the Fellowship or not ...

maybe YOU ... can see a little better why living a sober life as an alcoholic ...
changes ... well, everything.

[paulmh]

That was good for me just now. I've just been off getting indignant about something. Good to exhale a little pride rather than holding it close. Thanks Barb.

[Tazman53]

But for the Grace of God...............

Thanks Barb, those of us blessed like me to have driven drunk for thousands of miles for many years and not having harmed or killed anyone has no choice but to beleive in a HP, for if there was not one I could have been the one that changed that families life forever.

[tkdan]

That reminds me of a situation that happened to me some time back. I was at a lake fishing off the pier. There are campsites at the lake so campers often walk down the pier to look at the lake. An older couple was coming down the pier. As they got closer I started to notice little things about them. They appeared to be well off financially by their clothes. They appeared to be in fairly good health. They were walking about three feet apart. As they got even closer I could see their facial expressions. They looked unhappy and bitter. When they reached the end on the pier I told them hello to which they said nothing only looking at me as if I were nothing compared to them. They turned and headed back down the pier they never spoke to one another never got close to each other and looked more miserable then anyone I had ever seen. Although they looked like they had everything (finances, health, each other) they were so unhappy. A little while later another older couple was coming down the pier. I could see from a distance they were holding hands and talking. As they got close enough to see their facial expressions I noticed the man was not doing well. One side of his face and body looked as if it did not have much movement. I could only assume it was from a stroke. As they reached the end of the pier they were laughing, holding hands, and having such a good time. They did not dress as if they had money the man obviously was not in good health, yet they seemed as happy as two people who just fell in love. I said hello and they replied with a hello. Then they started talking to me asking what I was fishing for if I was doing any good and so on. During our conversation I learned that the man did indeed have a stroke some time ago. After they spent some time visiting with me they headed back up the pier. The whole time they never let go of each others hands they never stopped smiling, and they never quit giving off those warm vibes that made me feel good inside. I pondered this situation for a while. Here you have two couples close to the same age. One couple appears to have it all yet they are miserable. The other couple obviously has suffered some hard times yet they seemed to be glowing with joy. I was so impressed by the second couple despite life’s hardships they never let go of the joy in life. I realize then it doesn’t mater what I have or what I do not have, if I don’t see the joy in life I am destined to be miserable.

[NoMoBeer]

all I can say to that is Thank You. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You...

[WLDKATZ]

Barb, never can I say thank you enough, I love this post that was truely insightful.....Keep on!

[kevin 311]

Barb, I can't tell you how much I appreciated that post

[Dan Dare]

WOW. Got me thinkin...
There is a man in my line of work who's getting ready to retire- he had plans to move to Hawaii to live with his son, a very successful pediatric surgeon, 38 years old.
Right before Thanksgiving, his son died in a solo car crash. No alcohol involved. He had just gotten out of a 12 hour operation on a small chid and fell asleep at the wheel.
And here I am, thinking of all the nights I was thankful to be pulling into my driveway, drunk, but home safe without incident.
All the nights I carefully mapped my route home so as to not get caught...
All the nights I chose to have that one extra pop for the road when it was completely beyond reason.
How do I feel right now?
Jeez.

[Cathy31]

Barb - and SR - thank you.

There but for the grace of God, go I.

[Treasure2Find]

Thank you for the story I'm glad God put them in your path so that you could put them in mine......

[Jomey]

Absolutely beautiful....and I am absolutely speechless. Bless you, Barb.

[Miss Pink]

Damn, Barb.

What-------------------A------------------Story!

Thank YOU.

[IO Storm]

Angels, angels everywhere.

Amen...Barb.

Your story gave me chills..how many nights did I drive when only an "angel" could have

been behind the wheel? (It sure wasn't this drunk)



IO

[barb dwyer]

Thanks you everyone... wow.

Ok ... so you got it. LOL
I had an Angel visit -
I came and told you ...
and you got it.
What a blessing.

Want a 'twilight zone ' moment?

no one saw them leave today.

*twilight zone music*
no kidding.

five people, HUGE luggage rack,
woman in a wheelchair -
PARKED under the awning out front -
and NO one saw them leave.

c'mon!love to all & thanks for listening!

barb

[Lily]

Barb, That was a great insightful story. I too think of who I could have killed or maimed out there on the road. Every single time I hear of some young kid killing someone driving drunk I only feel sorrow for both families. That could have been me. I am so grateful it was not. Good reminder of how blessed we are!

Sheila

[mikel60]

Wow - just wow.
I can't see the screen right now - I haven't cried like this in a few years. I'm going to hug and hold my Liz, Sheila, and Liam right now. My life is blessed. Thanks Barb. you brought it all home - again.
Mike

[barb dwyer]

{{{hug}}}

[WLDKATZ]

Babr, this still gets me I have to keep re reading this post it was truely deep

[curliQ]

Wow, what great stories. Thanks all.

[1963comet]

Thank You Barb

That hit home with me also. I to am guilty of thinking I was superwoman behind the wheel when driving drunk.

I thank God every night for another day sober.

My son is in prison for a theft crime, but says a quarter of the inmates are DUI offences.

I have said before that people do not leave there house with the intension of getting into an accident. It can happen to any of us.

[Dee_Sober4today]

Thank you Barb and Dan for 2 wonderful, gut wrenching tear jerkers!

Awww..heck, I needed a good cry.

((((HUGS))))

Dee