Different Types of Drinkers

[greenidentity]

Most of the time when we hear about recovering alcoholics/addicts, we hear much the same story. "I was drinking large amounts of alcohol every day and neglecting my job, loved ones, and my own self care." E.t.c. However, we all know that addiction is not so cut and dry. Only the person him/herself can decide if they are an addict. So how does one actually know?

I don't consider everyone who drinks, or gets drunk, an alcoholic. I would classify myself as a "hard drinker" instead of a "heavy drinker." Another appropriate term would be the "binge drinker." While I don't drink for days on end, I do drink large amounts in one sitting, while going for a few days with no alcohol at all, problem free.

I'll share a brief summary of my situation with you as an example. I drink. I consider myself an alcoholic. I have drank so much I've blacked out, many times. I can drink large amounts without becoming sick. I can drink a lot and still function at my job, and in society in general. Successfully, at that. Have I ever been hungover and called in sick? Of course. Even the most general of drinkers have plead guilty to this! Nonetheless, I do what I have to do to get by, and even to thrive.

I am a functional drunk. I drink to be happy. I am a happy drunk. I don't generally drink when depressed or feeling down. I have done this before and it ended up in disaster. I learned. I don't generally drink if I am sick and need to get better. I have a few times, and again learned it doesn't work. So why am I posting here?

Despite all these factors, I realize that alcohol is a central part of my life. My identity even. It is starting to cause me concern for a few reasons. One of them being the fact that I can never make friends because every time I go out, I'm at a concert or bar and am usually pretty drunk. People don't tend to want to call you up and pursue a friendship because all they see is a drunk person. Not the real person.

Another thing that concerns me sometimes is how much i can drink. A lot. Visibly intoxicated, but I am rarely ever completely out of control. (though I have been many times in the past)

When I get started on the vodka...I want more. I can drink wine and beer in moderation, sure. But the hard stuff really does something to my body and brain that makes it impossible to have just "one or two." I believe this is the alcoholics biggest lament. "Do I switch to just beer then?"

I have been a "chronic/binge drinker" since the age of 18 at most. I am in a happy and loving relationship, and have a good relationship with my family. I have a job I've been at for awhile now and I like it. I am hungover 1 or 2 times a week, but i still go on. I have a great deal of "hangover stamina."

Addiction is no stranger to me. Yes I've come from a long line of addicts. Regardless, I don't have withdrawal symptoms. I haven't lost everything. I am not the most healthy person (mostly due to lack of excercise and smoking) but I don't suffer from alcoholic disabilities. But I am an alcoholic. I have crashed cars, I have blacked out, I have messed up and I have drank rivers of booze.

I felt it necessary to share this with you because as semi comfortable I am with myself no, I realize I am 29 and wonder what I will be like at 40. Can some of us "grow out of it"? Or do some of us really need help?

I love the bar. I love drinking. I see some people who are happy and content with thier lives as alcoholics like myself. So where do we draw the line? Why does drinking excessively and being unhappy have to be tied together? I'm not depressed. At most, I do have anxiety and extreme shyness. I admit drink to become more comfortable or "in control." (addiction is mostly a control issue anyhow.)

Thoughts or opinions?

[PatsFan81]

Very similar to my situation I don't drink to get drunk every night...i do though drink about 3 beers a night during the week...but i would say both weekend nights i drink to drunk, not to escape problems just cause i really like drinking, it's fun, and I have a lot of fun doing so...with my experiences with drugs I have learned to never turn to substances while depressed. So everytime i get drunk i'm happy....i used to get angry on occassion, but I dealt with my anger issues seperately and have not flipped out in over 3 years while drinking. I have just recently considered myself and alcoholic and have decided drinking during the week is not right and i don't need it. For one i'm not even getting drunk during the week, so why even have one. I am currently trying to detox myself and it has been hard, but I realized at the same time i do have an addiction. I to was very functioning as I went to class, went to work, never called into a job for a hangover, cause I realized if i chose to party hard I had to work hard. I was taught that by my dad, and I thank god he did. At the same time though I have lost relationships from drinking, have blacked out, and done many things i regret...I do compare yourself very much to your drinking style, and I came to the conclusion I am an alcohlic...but in all reality it really comes down to whether you accept yourself for who you are. If you are fine with it, then why change....but remember that just cause you can control now doesn't mean down the road you can't. That is my main concern right now is that I won't be able to keep this up without the alcohol controlling me. I wish the best of luck to you. And thank you for your story!!! It was something I could relate to, and that's why I love it here!!

[best]

Thoughts....

When you are ready to quit, we will be here.

From my experience... your not ready yet. Your still in the denial stage.

A few things I found (drank just like you do) ...
It is progressive in the amounts it takes to get that buzz.
It is progressive in how many days a week we want it.
It is progressive in the growth of our denial.

You say you are in control but then you say that vodka takes control.
You say you are happy and like your alcohol intake.... but...
People who don't find issue with alcohol wouldn't be seeking out support sites looking for answers.

I have been in your shoes and what I found is... though I may have done my job...without the alcohol I could have done it even better. Thrived to higher heights.

Maybe try the 30 day test. Go 30 days with no alcohol at all and see if you are in control of alcohol or is alcohol in control of you?

[best]

PatsFan81


I enjoy the games alcohol free. Same game but I remember more of it.


Go Tom and Moss

[PatsFan81]

Originally Posted by best

PatsFan81


I enjoy the games alcohol free. Same game but I remember more of it.


Go Tom and Moss

That is going to be the hardest thing for me football without beer...thank god the season is only one more month...football is my life and love it more than anything....but my problem is it goes with alcohol, which is half the reason i want to moderate my drinking to weekends only...i wish myself luck....oh and go pats

[greenidentity]

Originally Posted by best

Thoughts....

When you are ready to quit, we will be here.

From my experience... your not ready yet. Your still in the denial stage.

A few things I found (drank just like you do) ...
It is progressive in the amounts it takes to get that buzz.
It is progressive in how many days a week we want it.
It is progressive in the growth of our denial.

You say you are in control but then you say that vodka takes control.
You say you are happy and like your alcohol intake.... but...
People who don't find issue with alcohol wouldn't be seeking out support sites looking for answers.

I have been in your shoes and what I found is... though I may have done my job...without the alcohol I could have done it even better. Thrived to higher heights.

Maybe try the 30 day test. Go 30 days with no alcohol at all and see if you are in control of alcohol or is alcohol in control of you?

I don't see myself as being in denial whatsoever. I never claimed to have control. My drinking and blacking out does not indicate control at all. My drinking one drink then wanting more and more is not control. But I am not "completely" out of control. I am lucky to have a little control at times. But most the time: I drink a lot in one sitting. I know I am an alcoholic. I know that in order to quit altogether, I need help. I couldn't do it on my own. No denials there.

My whole post was to bring light to the fact that there are drinkers out there who don't hit rock bottom. Some of us have problems enough without having to do that.

Am I ready? Maybe not quite yet. Will I ever be? Sometime things have to run thier course. Maybe I will hit rock bottom.

Or maybe I will die at age 80, happy and content with the life I've lived, alcohol or none.

[greenidentity]

Originally Posted by PatsFan81

Very similar to my situation I don't drink to get drunk every night...i do though drink about 3 beers a night during the week...but i would say both weekend nights i drink to drunk, not to escape problems just cause i really like drinking, it's fun, and I have a lot of fun doing so...with my experiences with drugs I have learned to never turn to substances while depressed. So everytime i get drunk i'm happy....i used to get angry on occassion, but I dealt with my anger issues seperately and have not flipped out in over 3 years while drinking. I have just recently considered myself and alcoholic and have decided drinking during the week is not right and i don't need it. For one i'm not even getting drunk during the week, so why even have one. I am currently trying to detox myself and it has been hard, but I realized at the same time i do have an addiction. I to was very functioning as I went to class, went to work, never called into a job for a hangover, cause I realized if i chose to party hard I had to work hard. I was taught that by my dad, and I thank god he did. At the same time though I have lost relationships from drinking, have blacked out, and done many things i regret...I do compare yourself very much to your drinking style, and I came to the conclusion I am an alcohlic...but in all reality it really comes down to whether you accept yourself for who you are. If you are fine with it, then why change....but remember that just cause you can control now doesn't mean down the road you can't. That is my main concern right now is that I won't be able to keep this up without the alcohol controlling me. I wish the best of luck to you. And thank you for your story!!! It was something I could relate to, and that's why I love it here!!

You're welcome.

[best]

Originally Posted by PatsFan81

but my problem is it goes with alcohol, which is half the reason i want to moderate my drinking to weekends only...

There are groups that support moderation attempts. For the most part, you will find that SR is more of a support for people wanting to stop, not moderate.
In my opinion and from my own experience... moderation is a temporary fix. Just as in the earlier stages of my drinking...the moderation attempt would progress right back to where I was at first try.

Some say they have done it but no one that I know personally.

[good_luck]

nevermind

[good_luck]

Originally Posted by greenidentity

My whole post was to bring light to the fact that there are drinkers out there who don't hit rock bottom. Some of us have problems enough without having to do that.

I apologize, I misunderstood your reason for posting!

[best]

Originally Posted by greenidentity

My whole post was to bring light to the fact that there are drinkers out there who don't hit rock bottom. Some of us have problems enough without having to do that.

Am I ready? Maybe not quite yet. Will I ever be? Sometime things have to run thier course. Maybe I will hit rock bottom.

It is good to see that you understand. thank you for clarifying things.
Rock bottom is the same. There are different bottoms. We don't ned be in the gutter to be at rock bottom.
Bottom is when we reach the point of saying...Ya know... enough is enough.
When we reach our own personal bottom... we start looking and accepting some of the answers we find.
For me... the answer was... alcohol in... attitude out. No alcohol in... attitude and behaviors improved.

[jimhere]

I do have a question for you green, you said you are an alcoholic, but then you say you are a hard drinker. I was wondering if you knew that there is a difference between the two.

I won't go any farther than this for now. If you are not clear, don't be afraid to ask.

I will have to agree with best. You may not be at the "bottom" yet. If you are an alcoholic, keep on drinking and you'll get there. That is your business though and I wish you the best.
Jim

[sbp]

Greenidentity,

Hey hows its going? First of all I can relate to everything you said.
I have done what your doing for about 8 years. Binge drink a couple of nights a week and yet still be very functional at work and then take 3 or 4 days off of drinking.

I have recently gotten sober and its a day by day thing but I'm trying to enjoy the little things in life as opposed to obsessing about alcohol all the time.

If your like me, on the days in between drinking I would be thinking about my next drinking night. Once the night arrived I would get real drink and like you mentioned I could drink an incredible amount of alcohol on those nights.

You said you drink to be happy and not when your down. But thats a vicious cycle my friend because then every time something good happens it gives you an excuse to party or celebrate. Happy times = Alcohol to enhance the happiness.

You mentioned you have anxiety and are extremely shy. Using alcohol to overcome those issues simply makes you never have to face them.

I'm in your exact same situation today. I'm much more stress free and social to others when I have some drinks but when I wake up in the mourning guess what I have anxiety again. Its a vicious cycle.

I'm working on improving my quality of life and being a happy person without alcohol. IMO its pretty hard to work on yourself when your addicted to something that prevents you from ever being yourself.

Keep us posted on how your doing.

[gravity]

Hi greenidentity,

I used to drink more or less like you until I was about 36 (I'm 41 now). Up until that point, I suppose the positives outweighed the negatives. Always knew it was a problem but my life is general was pretty good (still is). My binge drinking got more frequent and to the point where it was seriously affecting my family, health, and career - I had to quit before I lost what I cared about the most. This could definitely have happened. Also, I could have been killed while out of control/blacked out (lots of dangerous situations).

Where will you be when you are 40? I've seen people "grow out of it" and are now moderate drinkers. My university buddies come to mind (I didn't grow out of it obviously). I also have friends in my age group that still are heavy drinkers and are okay with it. I also have friends who are dead or in jail because of drinking. For me, I just think that there is so much at risk and it's not worth it.

Best wishes & take care!

[greenidentity]

Originally Posted by jimhere

I do have a question for you green, you said you are an alcoholic, but then you say you are a hard drinker. I was wondering if you knew that there is a difference between the two.

I won't go any farther than this for now. If you are not clear, don't be afraid to ask.

I will have to agree with best. You may not be at the "bottom" yet. If you are an alcoholic, keep on drinking and you'll get there. That is your business though and I wish you the best.
Jim

I never said there was a difference between the two, for me personally. But there is a difference between being a "heavy drinker" And a "hard drinker" in my opinion. What is your feeling of difference between them?

Maybe I will hit bottom. Maybe I will calm down and realize where I want to be on my own. Only time will tell, and the saying certainly is true.

[greenidentity]

Originally Posted by sbp