Quitting..What to expect ..What we did

[Zeke]

I have always known that alcohol can kill you (cirrosis, pancreatitis, heart failure, etc.). What I didn't know was that alcohol withdrawal could kill you... Until about 5 years ago.

The first time that I noticed that I must be experiencing alcohol withdrawal was about 5 years ago and that realization caused me to panic. After some quick research, I went and bought some beer and "weaned" off. That was scary and I quit drinking for about 4 months. Then the disease said to me, well you didn't die. So, I went back to drinking.

The next time that I was in withdrawal was much worse. I did some additional research and found the CIWA-AR scale that tests withdrawal severity which scared me (too much knowledge, maybe). I called my sister who is a nurse and she came and took me to the ER. They took my vitals and gave me ativan which is a benzo like valium, xanax, librium, etc. I felt much better. The ER convinced me to check in to detox. I agreed. They took my vitals every 4 hours and gave me what I recognized as the CIWA test. Then they gave me valium. Eventually my CIWA rating was not high enough for valium. This was about 24 hours after the first symptoms and about 30 hours after the last drink. But, they would not let me leave detox. And I saw some terrible things from the other patients - seizures, delerium, restraints - it was a mess and I felt fine. After 72 hours they let me go with my treatment plan and my promise to go to AA.

I went to AA and decided I was not as bad as "these" people. But, I still wanted to drink. But, I did not want to have to go to detox ever again. So, I decided best not to drink as much. I also decided to do some more research on what causes alcohol withdrawal and why it could kill you. I learned that over a period of time of alcohol abuse, the brain determines that it needs to direct the CNS to extrete higher and higher levels of norepinephraine and dopamine as alcohol depresses these neurotransmitters. Alcohol also completely destroys the GABA neurotransmitters (along with all vitamins and minerals and amino acids and all that other stuff that keeps you alive). GABA regulates norepinephraine and dopamine among other things. Acute alcohol withdrawal occurs when the body stops receiving alcohol which is depressing norepinephraine and dopamine and does not have any GABA to inhibit those neurotransmitters. Too much norepinephraine and dopamine causes temors, sweating, heart palpitations, insomnia, seizures, delerium, stroke, coma and death. So, the doctors give you benzos.

All this and I still wanted to drink. So, I decided the best thing to do was make an appointment with a doctor to get some benzos. I went in and described all the symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks without ever mentioning either disorder. He ran some blood work which was all good and prescribed me a 25 capsule script for ativan with 5 refills.

So my disease tells me that I'm still in good shape - just drink less, eat well, take your vitamins and in case you need them, you've got the ativan.

So, the next 5 times that I went through withdrawal, I took the ativan and the thiamine and the B complex and the milk thistle, monitored my vitals, drank copious amounts of juice and I was good to go within 30 hours.

I kept on drinking. But, now I was out of ativan and having used up my 6 scripts in 6 months, the doctor would not give me any more. So, back to the research because I still wanted to drink. So, I came across valerian - an herb marketed as a sleep aid. I knew from previous research that the benzos were also prescribed as sleep aids before the likes of the hypnotic sleep aids like ambien. More research found that it was thought that valerian worked by stimulating the production of GABA and inhibiting the enzyme responsible for destroying GABA on the receiving side of the synapse. So, to the GNC to get valerian and I'm good to go.

The next 4 withdrawals, I followed the same regimine, only substituting valerian for the ativan. Worked great, however, the withdrawal episodes were getting longer. This is because with each episode, the symptoms get worse and eventually, the intervention for reconstituting GABA, detoxing your body with vitamins and lots of fluids no longer works as your brain has learned this trick.

During my last bout of heavy drinking - drank 3 bottles of Jack Daniels in 2 days and was pretty much useless, my girlfriend and my kids went to the store and bought me a case of beer, 2 cases of water and 5 gallons of juice. When they got home from the store, they came up and basically said, "we know the drill. Here's your beer for the first stage of withdrawal and here's your juice and water for detox. How's your vitamin and valerian supply? And there is soup ready to be made when you are ready to eat." I just looked at them, incredulous. My oldest son said, "dad, you are a professional." My youngest son said, "You are always telling us how smart we are and never to pick up a drink or a drug. We read that book that you gave us (I had given the Under the Influence). You're smart too, dad. You figured out how to drink.".

That was April 4, 2007. I skipped the beer, took the valerian, took the vitamins, drank the water and the juice and ate the soup.

Today is April 4, 2009. I don't drink. I still take the vitamins and drink the juice and the water. I don't need the valerian. I eat well. I sleep well. I have lots of friends in AA. I compose and record music with my boys. We go on long bike rides and lift weights together. They are both on the A honor roll. I try and teach them useful things. One is 16 and the other is 13. They don't drink or use drugs.

My girlfriend smiles at me sometimes and says, "you are pretty smart." I say, "No one will be able to write on my headstone, 'He was so smart that he drank himself to death'".

Your mileage will vary. I certainly don't advise this approach other than don't drink, but take the vitamins and drink the water and the juice.

Zeke

[maz09]

first week

shakes, heart palptations, blurred visions, feeling like I wasn't on earth, vomiting, anxiety, insomina, nightmares, depression


second week, still anxiety, insomina, depression, feeling spacey

third week, anxiety, insomina, but that has eased of a bit as I finally slept for a couple of hours last night and I still feel spacey and I can't stand being in crowds.

[pearlwolf911]

I had hellll week. 7+ days os shaking like an epileptic rabbit, puking my face off, and a whole host of other delightful symptoms...

[thekat]

ok, well so far.....

Day one: Panick attacks, anxiety, vertigo, insomnia, tremors, liver and kidneys start hurting, sweating. managed a slice of toast and half a tortilla

Day two: insomnia, sweating, tremors, liver kidneys ribs and shoulders in agony......go to AA meeting, everyone really great and all tell me their experiences while I sit there shaking uncontrolably. managed a bit more solid food today

Day three: even less sleep, body pains starting to go a bit, less shakiness and anxiety get some sleeping pills. eat fruit and spaghetti bolognaise then later jacket potatoe!!

Day four: slept ok but feel a bit fuzzy, think it's from the pills. still a bit shaky at times. can't wait to feel well enough to go back to AA.

This has been a real wake up call to how dependent I was on alcohol. I just thank the lord I decided to quit now and not later when it would have been so much worse

[eddie73]

My most recent detox wasnt as awful as ones ive experienced in the past, but it was not too pleasant either.

Day 1 Dry wretching, no appetite, anxiety and restlessness, constant dread and exsistential angst. Insomnia. Poor concentation, paranoia and guilt. Shaking and sweating.
Aches and pains in joints and muscles. Dehydration.

Day 2. All of the above except replace anxiety with a horrible empty depression. When the anxiety goes, depression takes its place with dreadful ease. Appetite back by the evening.

Day 3. Depression wears off enough so as u are motivated to go for a short walk, do something small but constructive. Slight relief that the ordeal is now past its worst part. An insane temptation to drink again as a reward. What a disgusting idea.

Day 4. Back to almost being normal. Ambition and responsibilty return and the diary is opened up, projects are planned, the world is not as alien as it has been.


The most important thing i can emphasise about withdrawl to anyone who is about to do it is that it is very very worth it. Just hang in there.

[TheRock]

My De Tox

I’m by far no expert and I can only give you what I went through just days ago. I drank for the past 22 years up until last Tuesday and was about 1-2 cases of BEER everyday. I’m an Alcoholic and was also on Xanax for 30 days. My Dr. put me on it for Insomnia. He knew I was struggling with my Alcohol, so I was very open with him. I took the exact amount as he prescribed. I was taking 0.5mg 2-3 times a day, just like the bottle said. It worked great, however, I started to notice about 2 weeks ago that I was getting very addicted to it. I needed to have it, no matter what. I craved it. I did some research on the internet and found that it was very addictive and just about as bad as Alcohol. I hate to say this, but it does it’s job great. However, it’s a HORRIBLE drug to get addicted too and it comes very fast !!!!

What I did last Tuesday was most likely not recommended by any doctor, but I joined an AA group/Specialist for One-On-Ones and went COLD TURKEY on the Alcohol and Xanax. This was done all at one time. I just hit DAY 7 (OH YEAH !!!!!) of being CLEAN from both. However, I had some severe withdrawal symptoms hit me all at once.

Day 1 – No Problem
Day 2 – No Problem
Day 3 – No Problem
Day 4 – Started to get some withdrawal symptoms. They included Cold, Clammy, Constant Swets, Shaking, Ears Ringing, Very Jumpy (Everything seemed like it was 1 foot away from me and seriously LOUD)
Day 5 – Absolutely The Worse Day Of My LIFE. Symptoms included all of the above times 10. I thought I was going to lose my mind. I had no idea what to do and just about ended it all. Either go back to Alcohol, Zanax, or just end everything. It was the scariest day of my life !!!

Last Sunday was DAY 5 for me. Like I said, I had NO IDEA what I was doing. Now the next thing that happened I cannot explain no matter how I look at it. Some call it “BLIND LUCK” or “DIVINE INTERVENTION”, but in either case, I did a search on Google and typed in something like “Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms Timeframe” and the very first site that came up was SR’s. It pretty much saved my life that day. I posted a thread on Sunday called “Help !!” and that is exactly what I got. I spent the next 6-7 hours on-line in the OPEN CHAT room with a bunch of people that got me through the day. By that night, I was feeling very normal with NO ALCOHOL or XANAX. Again, they SAVED MY LIFE !!!

Now, I still have the insomnia pretty bad. I just came off of a 37 hour stint of Insomnia and the people here recommended Meletonin and I must say, I just got 7 hours of sleep that was much needed. It was GREAT !!! No More DRUGS !!!

With that all being said, DAY 6 & DAY 7 were the BEST days of my life. I felt 100% NORMAL and I have NOT felt that way for months. It was a breath of fresh air, NO WITHDRAWAL symptoms of any kind. It was like the world was lifted off my back. I really can’t describe the feeling, but it was a complete 180 of the MESS Sunday was. All I can say, it “THANK GOD” that I found this place. I really do not know what I would have done on Sunday had I not found SR.

I hope this helps.

John DeRocker

[queenof7]

Hello I am a newbie here. To get sober my last detox was done in a jail cell. It was harsh and rugged but it got me sober. I drank alot of water and also got healthy physically I started a work out routine and ended up losing 35+ lbs. I ended up doing 15 months all together in prison.

Today I have 16 months clean & sober. Sometimes we have to actually be "physically" removed from our situation to get it, and to see clearly.

This is the longest I have ever had clean and sober. I have been drinkin since I was 15, and been in and out of AA since I was 19.

I don't have a desire to drink today but I also don't take that for granted because I know where my last drink took me. I have only been home 30 days (today to be exact) but I feel good about life and about being sober.

[least]

I've been thru horrible withdrawals more times than I'd like to remember because I wasn't smart enough to STAY sober. Each time the withdrawals got worse. The worst of all for me was the extreme anxiety. Racing heart, can't sit still, can't sleep, can't relax or concentrate on anything. The anxiety usually lasted a few days before I started feeling better.

Now I'm staying sober because I don't know if I'd survive withdrawals again and don't want to put myself thru that unbearable anxiety. I already have problems with anxiety and drinking just makes it worse.

I would also advise anyone to see a doctor for help in getting thru withdrawals safely. They can indeed be very dangerous.

[TakingAvalon]

So basically, I’m a captain and sommelier at a celebrity restaurant in NYC. I have been drinking heavily for almost ten years. As a kid, I’d easily trade different kinds of drugs for bottles of 151. Through my years of college, touring with various rock bands, and general mental dysfunction, I found myself to be a 25-year-old alcoholic bathing my liver in copious amounts of whiskey on a daily basis. Last week I made the choice to become sober at home, alone. It was a stupid and dangerous experience, but one that has changed me forever. On the fifth day I started a journal to recount my detox in an effort to have something to look back on any time I feel like picking up a drink. Here for any interest are the first few pages of me journaling my detox and withdrawl symptoms.

I woke up late one afternoon, fully clothed in my bed. My mind was in a fog and I couldn’t pull it into focus. I knew I was still drunk and was in for a rough ride. I couldn’t remember what exactly had happened. At this point the details of each binge all seemed the same, just repetitious stories with interchangeable parts. It really hit me when I realized that I hadn’t just lost the memory of the night, but an entire day had passed under the vast amount of chemical I forced into my body. I knew I was in for a ride, so I found the last two bottles of beer amongst the trash on my floor and drank them back-to-back. It was just enough to put me back under and I fell asleep with just under eight hours before I had to shower and get to work.
Complete denile. Still buzzed, I felt fine. Once again I got off easy and could go right along kidding myself that I could physically get away with this kind of torture. Early in to work, jovial, I cracked jokes with the staff and set up the restaurant for the day. No problems. Friday mornings tend to be busy and people started pouring in quickly. My stomach began to feel queasy and the room started to spin. I had trouble remembering orders and could barely hold my pen without shaking. A deep fog started to roll in over my eyes and the room started to turn faster and faster. I knew I was in trouble. Cold sweat started rolling down my back and I went white. More nd more people are seated and I knew I was done. I ran downstairs and vomited into an open stall in front of all the prep cooks and dishwashers. My whole body was shaking and I wanted to cry out with pain, shame, and the realization that this was serious. This lead to the longest and most embarrassing day of my life. I prayed for the minutes to pass so I could get home, crawl into bed, and sleep with it all over. I had no idea this was just the beginning.
Finally home, I collapsed on my bed, physically exhausted, but with my heart and mind racing a mile a minute. I couldn’t focus or stop the circling thoughts. I made a decision. This had to be over, cold turkey, here and now.

Friday, Feb 4th-Day One.
Big Mistake. Within a few hours, what felt like a hangover, was turning into a drop off a cliff. It was a mental and physical torrent of anguish. My body began to shake with tremors, swelling with rushes of heat and freezing sweat. Thoughts of shame, history, and despair run relentlessly. My chest began to ache and my stomach cramped and faded, just to come back and stab at me again and again. I realized this was all out of my control, but had gone too far. I was in too much pain to ask for help. I could hardly see, yet dial my phone for an ambulance. The hours went by in desperation for sleep, but no such luck. I began having panic attacks and rolled around again in my bed checking the clock every minute or so waiting for the time to come for me to shower and return to work once again.

Saturday, Feb 5th – Day Two
I’m terrified. Maybe that was it, off like a band-aid. I knew in my heart that it wasn’t. I climbed out of bed with my clothes soaked through with sweat and found my way to the shower. My nerves were so shot that every bead of water sent shocks of pain through my spine. I got dressed and tried not to think about it. Work was awful. Thankfully it was slow and I could hide my bursts of dry heaving in the back without anyone really noticing. My hands were shaking horribly and I couldn’t focus. Time moved too fast, too slow, but never in real time. Short-term memory loss was making me frustrated, leading my emotions out of control. I’d feel like crying, then screaming, the for just a second I’d feel okay. I’d try to sit down to help, but the rush of blood to my heart just triggered waves of heat, then swells of fever sweats. Quitting time came around and I rushed home hoping for sleep. No suck luck. I laid in bed sweating with my nervous system fairing at me. My body was aching with hypersensitivity to every movement. Then, just when I thought it wasn’t possible, things got worse. Paranoia, panic, and hallucinations set in. I was alone in a dark room and for some reason my curtains were being pushed around from the outside. The lights would move by themselves sending shocks of terror right through me. Some was trying to get in. I checked outside and saw no one. I clenched my eyes shut and every time I opened them something would vanish as if I just caught it sneaking up on me. I felt a shapeless black figure trying to hover over me. I wanted to scream or cry, but couldn’t. Again I considered the hospital, but couldn’t even understand how to communicate to the outside world. Out of panic I considered drinking. All of this was from sobriety, or at least an attempt at it. There was a bottle of wine in the kitchen and maybe some left over whiskey in the graveyard of bottles under my bed. Something inside me wouldn’t let me do it. Deep down within all the deliriousness, I think I knew it would kill me to drink in that state. I knew this was something I had to get through and I’ve been taking the easy way out for way too long. So I clenched myself into a ball and endured one more night of sleepless terrors. This time however, I didn’t feel like I was falling. I felt like I was finally beginning to feel the world under me.

Sunday, Feb 6th – Day Three
No sleep and nothing to eat since my last drink. I got up to shower for work having no idea where my energy was coming from. Anxious, twitchy, and sticky with sweat, I got into the shower, but this time it felt good. The heat washed away my chills and I felt good about going into work. I got through it hiding the tremors in my hands and wildly pulsating eyes from a third consecutive sleepless day. I was able to eat the insides of a piece of bread and half a slice of orange. My stomach burned, but it didn’t send me running to the bathroom. Breathing is difficult, my body aches, I still feel like crying, but I still can’t. All I can do is wait and hope. I get home and pass the time reading articles of at home d.i.y. detoxing and realize how dumb I was for trying to do this on my own. I also realize how lucky I am to have survived this far alone. My heart was trying to stop and I could have stroked out at any time. As lucky as I feel, the more I realize how hard this process really is. This is just the beginning to recovery. Once again I lie in my bead aching all over, shaking, sweating, my mind racing, afraid and frustrated and at 4a.m. something happened. I fell asleep. I woke up four hours later, looked at the clock, and fell asleep once again.

Monday Feb 7th – Day Four
After six hours of sleep I wake up and feel hunger for the first time. I didn’t have to work until the afternoon so I knew I could try and eat and if I couldn’t keep it down, I’d have time to recover before work. Craving protein I ordered a monstrous burger from a local deli and after 20 minutes of waiting, I was eating again. I felt good, well almost. I still had tremors, cold sweats, and a thick fog over my eyes. I didn’t feel like myself, but I sure as hell didn’t feel like the person I used to be. I decided to hit up the local pharmacy for some vitamins and bottled water. As I stepped out my front door I was hit with a wave of heat from the warm sun. It was one of the first windless, cloudless, days so far this winter. It was beautiful and I even caught myself laughing out loud at the cinematic cliché. Stepping out from the shadows, he is born again. Plato and Melville would have been proud to see they really weren’t just making everything up. I grabbed a ton of Vitamin B, Milk Thistle for my liver, and raw cranberry for my kidneys. I’ve come this far organically and want to keep going without prescriptions. I’ve gotten over the hump and feeling hopeful, I went to work.

Tuesday Feb. 8th – Day 5
I got home from work at 1a.m. and once again lie in bed sweating and staring at the clock. My mental and physical frustration just made the insomnia worse. Finally, around 8a.m, I drifted off and shut down. I woke up at noon, drank as much water as I could, and fell back asleep again for the rest of the afternoon. I woke up feeling great. My hands shook less and the pains in my joints and stomach were gone. The fog over my eyes remains, but to a much lesser degree. I decide to start talking about what I’m going through. I want to be honest with my friends and coworkers. Hiding my sobriety will only make it that much easier to relapse. I take my vitamins, drink juice and water, and curl up on my couch, sweating under a blanket and relaxed for the rest of the day. Taking frequent showers to relieve the chills, I sit and reflect on my past and look forward to my future.

It is now Feb 12th and I’m feeling fantastic… and looking to keep it that way.

[Fandy]

I've drank almost every day for 25 years with the exception of 9 days in 2009. I'm on Day 2 which is not so impressive, but due to being ill had cut way back over the last week. Or maybe I was ill from cutting way back on the booze....lots of vomiting and diarr. from Sat. through yesterday...(but there is this bad virus going around and i work in a hospital, others have the same thing)

the insomnia is the worst part, i'm only sleeping 3-3.5 hours a night...I started taking a tylenolPM. no shakes, no chills, if I keep busy, time passes, I'm back at work as of yesterday, slight leg cramps, but i can climb 3 flights of stairs....no appetite but it is coming back, drinking lots of herbal lemon tea and gingerale.

I had my heater going full blast last night coming home but I kept hearing non-existent *singing*, i checked the radio, nope, cell, nope... it was weird but not *scary*....when the cats start talking, I'll get scared.

maybe it will get worse before it gets better, but I haven't used the ativan i have, but I did start taking my prescribed anti-seizure meds again(i was Dx'd with a carotid aneurysm very small, another reason to sober up). for the most part i feel fine, just not hungry, but very thirsty from the nausea/diarr. If I had known it could be this easy I would have tried sooner.

[TakeAStepBack]

Hi, first post here.

I was drinking probably the equivalent of 15 standard drinks every day. Mostly beer, but then I reverted to vodka and was going through about 500 mls a day.

I tried going cold turkey without assistance a couple of times, but I got bad shakes, sweating, couldn't concentrate, etc. The longest I lasted was 2 days.

But then I read advice on this forum and other places which said GO SEE A MEDICAL SPECIALIST! So I did.

My "regular" GP just referred me to an expensive rehab clinic which I would have waited months to get into, and my insurance wouldn't cover.
A friend referred me to a GP who speliacis in addiction treatment. He sat down and chatted with me and agreed that I just needed to get over the withdrawal for now, and could probably do it on an out-patient basis.

He prescribed me diazepam (Valium), whith a big dose up front, then tapering down day by day over the next 10 days until I reach 0.
So far, I am at the end of day 3, and the only withdrawal symptom I've faced was very slightly trembling hands when I wake up.

[Lazarus]

First This site is very inspirational and a Godsend. I thank everyone involved in it for helping me through my with the beginning of this new chapter of my life.

Here are a few notes on my withdrawal:

A few notes on my life before sobriety.

I was not a fall down drunk. I never blacked out. Never received a DUI or got in legal trouble. I never threw up from drinking except for one time in my college years. I am 35 years old professional with a very stressful job but successful with it. I was the top sales person for a number of years and even this past year was tremendously successful. I am not married although engaged and have no kids. Both sides of my family drink and have drinking issues. Mom and Dad are ok, but other relatives have or have been drinking for years.

I have always been very devoted to God and never felt alone in my life although feel I have felt I let Him down during my drinking years.

I never drank in High School. I was class President those years but never popular. In college I was part of a fraternity, drank, but never really the amount I have in the past 10 years. At about the age of 26 I started to drink every night. Just a beer or wine. One or two. Nothing big. But is soon took on a daily habit. I never really went out after work for Happy Hour. But traveling with work and customers and coworkers it was easy to have a few drinks.

It slowly progressed. I drank more and more every year. There were few days that I did not drink. Eventually it had led me to about 5-6 large vodka tonics a night when alone. Or a bottle of wine plus some in one night. The excuse of stress with work became my doorway to daily walk through to have a drink.

Three weeks ago I quit. I have been thinking of stopping for years now, but my love for my Fiancee, Family and God have inspired me to change.

Here is what I have gone through so far.

Day 1 : Not really hung over. Never really have gotten that drunk. Anxious if I can make it through. Can I really make this change is more the questions. I tell my Fiancee of my decision.

Day 2: Normal, anxious, but I have been for years. Feel good. Feel moody. Feel numb. Some of the brain fog some have told about.

Day 3-7: Repeat of the day 2. Often very tired. Fatigued. Stressed from work but think I can get through it. Think of drinking out of habit almost. Dreams of drinking. No nightmares. I sleep through the night without much issue. I am hungry. No loss of apatite. Drink more water and coffee than before.

Week 2: Still fatigued. Brain is scattered I cannot focus. Distracted. A little depressed and anxious. I do seem to crash at night and cry. I look for inspiration in music. (listed below) I pray and look for guidance through Him. Feel like I let Him down all these years. The week ends with a wicked nauseating headache.

Week 3. The world seems to lighten just a little. For perspective Work is really though without the drinking withdrawal. Still some dreams about drinking. Almost a fear of relapsing are the nature of the dreams. Another wicked nauseating headache. I was in customer meetings all day and wanted to toss my cookies at any time. It was better by evening. At the end of the week, I start to get not only light but a little fight in my soul again. Needing a little less sleep than the previous weeks.

Week 4: I went to the doctor today. Told her of my alcoholism, she was very understanding and performed some tests for liver and kidney function or damage. I will find out more later. Although I have not really changed in my diet food wise, I have managed to lose 14 pounds. .....and this week is to be continued...

Again, there was no big event that made me take this path. To say it has and will be easy is wrong. The biggest comfort I have is my future wife. She is extremely supportive. She never notice my drinking because I never really drank around her. I felt at ease with her. With her I have found my soul mate and I God has blessed me in allowing me to find her. Her first husband even was an alcoholic and drug user. And when I first told her of my problem with drinking she said she never suspected. But again we were together mostly on weekends and have not moved in together yet. The inspiration of wanting to be the best husband and father has helped me. My fiancee and I have never been so in love with each other. I am blessed to have her in my life and my past weeks of sobriety have helped me fight the depression that others have experienced I believe.

Well that is all I can think of for now. Perhaps more later.

Thank you all again for the help and inspiration. You are all a blessing to me.

[stugotz]

Ok here goes.

Day 1. Still in booking.

Day 2. In a pod, sleeping on the floor.

Day 3. Finally got a cell, but still on the floor.

Day 4-94. In "the hole" for 90 days for slapping the jit in my cell for banging on the door all night and tryin to impersonate Kanye West.

What a blessing....

[Norther]

Since I refused to detox in the hospital, they gave me librium and let me do it at home. I threw away the prescription because: 1) I'm an alcoholic and we are stubbornly stupid at times, 2) I wanted to suffer so I'd have some negative motivation if I thought about drinking again. I now think both 1) and 2) are insane.

Anyway,

Day 1: shakes, sweating, herky-jerky anxiety, palpitations, pressure in head (High bp?)

Day 2: More of the same, at the same level.

Day 3:Same stuff but all less.

Day 4: Aside from passing cravings, I actually felt pretty good. I was, though, and at day 16, am still to some degree kind of a space cadet. I hope that passes in time.

For reference, when I quit this time. I had been doing 8-20 beers/day for only about six weeks. I've drunk more in the past, and the withdrawal was worse, so YMMV.

[Stang]

almost 48 days sober now!

Sunday, day 1
I was so hungover and disgusted with myself after a 5 day binge I swore alcohol off forever...like all drunks do. Something clicked this time between my brain and body because all hell broke loose this go around! That night the sweats began along with the shakes and insomnia.

Monday, day 2
I called in sick and tried to sleep not one wink did I get. "OH SH!T I'M IN WITHDRAWAL" I remember thinking. My hands wouldn't stop shaking, and food just came right back up. I went to a 12:00 PM AA meeting and got a white chip.

Tuesday, day 3
Still no food or sleep. I went to work and came clean with my boss. He was real cool about it. I had enough vacation and personal time to take the rest of the week off. I looked like a scab on a buzzards ass and felt even worse.

Wednsday, day 4
My bone head finally relented and I went to the doctor feeling like 180 lb of smashed rectums. No sleep or food for 4 days and my hands still shook. He did blood work wich came back normal...how the hell that happened is beyond me because I drank heavily for 25 years. My liver should get The Vince Lombardi Trophy! I was prescribed a sedative and vitamin B. I slept 7 hours that night.

Since then I have not looked back and have taken it a day at a time.

[LexieCat]

I'd just like to note that I watched someone almost die as a result of withdrawal from alcohol. A lot of people are surprised to learn more people die from alcohol withdrawal than from heroin withdrawal. Both can be painful, but alcohol is more dangerous.

When I decided to quit drinking, I carefully detoxed at home, watching for any scary symptoms. I allowed myself one drink every four hours or so over the course of three days. I planned for my last drink to be at the end of Thursday. On Wednesday, I scoured my home for every single bottle in the house. I had a number of bottles of wine and champagne collecting dust (I wasn't really much of a recreational wine drinker--I preferred vodka or scotch). I gathered them into the kitchen and poured every one of them into the sink. The champagne corks popping sounded like New Year's Eve, and my kitchen reeked of wine. I measured out the scotch and the single bottle of beer I was going to have on the last day, and poured the rest out. I put all the empties into a box and took them outside for recycling (deciding this time I didn't care who saw them). I threw out most of my barware, too, keeping only a few wine goblets.

On Thursday, my last day, I had my four carefully spaced drinks, and then poured myself a cup of herbal tea. I had already installed a bottled water dispenser that dispensed hot and cold water--great for drinking nice, cold water or making tea.

Over the next few days I slept a lot (or tried to--sleep was screwed up for awhile), drank LOTS of water, took multivitamins (with extra B-complex), ate soothing stuff like soup, grilled cheese sandwiches, macaroni and cheese. I was a bit agitated and anxious for a few days, had a few night sweats, basically felt achy and foggy like I had a low-grade virus.

It was uncomfortable for a few days, but nothing scary that I couldn't handle. I also got myself started on AA meetings the day after my first drink--I went to 90 meetings in 90 days.

Anyone drinking very heavily should NOT stop abruptly without medical supervision. If you can taper, the way I did, you might be able to detox yourself, but be alert for any symptoms like uncontrollable shaking, heart racing, hallucinations, etc. and call 911 if they occur. If you can have a friend check on you, so much the better.

[Cottonwoodchris]

Hi, first post here.

Last week, after drinking several Rum + cokes a day, prepared for work with my usual before-work-drink, as I have for the last 9 months, was at work for about 4 hours (half my shift) and just got dizzy. Went to sit down, got dizzy, spun around and passed out, cracked my head on the floor. Woke up on a gurney in an ambulance. ER doc asked if I drank. I said "Yes, a few a day"

Blood test came back .021%. Kidneys and liver, everything else normal. She advised me to quit drinking but offered no other help like medicine.

Poured it all out when I got home. Time to quit (AGAIN!). Next morning I was fine. Did my 7am thing (I work a split shift) and went up to my office. 10am, all heck broke loose! Shakes, spasms, vomiting, sweats, I couldn't even stand up!

Called a nurse friend of mine that happens to work in a rehab facility, he said, "Hang in there, it's gonna get worse, I'll be over soon as posible" He brought all his "test" gear and some Zanax. Wow. Anyways, I guess 2 days wasn't bad. Now I have to worry about the Zanax. (in the process of all this , with Thursday being Day 1, I thought Friday was Day 3- lost a day somehow)

DAy 1: sweats, shakes, tremmors, sweats, vomiting, voices, ghosts (mainly faces, one of which told me I was going to die in 2 days) insomnia, no appetite, waking nightmares.

Day 2: more of the above until my friend arrived.

Day 3: still getting my "sea legs" back but appetite is good, no vomiting, I'm sleeping, no more voices or visions, doing pretty goood

I'll introduce myself in the Forums a little more. And, thank you all so much for such a great place!

[Chris40]

Well this is my first post on here. I am currently on day 3 of detoxing and this is probably the third or fourth time I have been through this. The first one was the worst. I actually had auditory hallucinations. This one has been easier for me. I am coming off of 2-3 months of drinking this time on a daily basis and had been drinking at least a 5th of rum for the last month or two. They really mean it when they say you don’t pick up where you left off, but pick up where you would be if you never quit. Anyway here is what I have encountered this detox.

Day 1: Very heavy vomiting that hit about every 10-15 minutes for 12 hours, chills, sweating, aches, muscle cramping, and insomnia.

Day 2: No more nausea. I had diarrhea, more chills, confusion, and balance difficulties. More of the muscle aches and I was compulsively in the shower. I did manage to hold down soup and did get some sleep.

Day 3: This is today. The muscle aches are passing. My head is somewhat cloudy and I am craving just about any food you can think of. The one thing I am not craving is alcohol.

[Nikkle]

There were many occasions in the past when I attempted to quit, that I would feel the racing heartbeat. A few where I was shaky, twice I felt like jumping out of my skin and once where I felt impending doom and was sure I was going to drop dead in an instance. When I got my DUI on 12-02-10, after I was released from jail a couple hours after my arrest, I was still drunk and drank two more 24 oz Natural Ice beers when I got home. I have not had a drink since. The next morning, I had a slight headache, but did not feel hungover. For the next couple weeks I was just weepy, anxious, afraid, ashamed, not hungry, grieving my actions etc. I did not experience the kind of withdrawals I had in the past. Do you suppose adrenaline could of had anything to do with it? Curiously or maybe just coincidently, these last couple weeks, I have been waking up with bangers of a headache and nausea and stomach upset like mini-hangovers. It can't be dehydration, as I am constantly drinking hot water or no caffeine tea.

[ZZworldontheweb]

Guess I'll add mine.

Day 1. Severe anxiety, racing heart, elevated BP (160/100), sweating, feeling of skin crawling, lost ability to read, lost ability to carry on cogent conversation. My doctor said my liver panels looked bad.

Day 2. Hospital, taking Librium. Extreme fatigue (probably from the amount of medication they gave me), nervous, afraid, feelings of paranoia, inability to sleep. Still cannot read more than one sentence. Never had nausea or lack of appetite, although the mechanical process of eating (picking up the food, guiding it to my mouth, remembering to chew and swallow) required a lot of concentration.

Day 3 Still tired, sore, raspy throat, some mild hallucinations (feeling there was a malevolent presence in the room or some dark figure charging me. Thought the bed was full of toy boats for some reason, asked the nurse about them). Liver numbers almost back to normal.

Day 4. Labile, tired, depressed, but able to sleep the night. Unsteady on feet, still some difficulty concentrating but able to read several paragraphs at a time.

Day 5. Pretty much done, but stayed on Librium for several days and felt fatigued and fragile. Landed in daily outpatient treatment the day I was discharged (THANK GOD. If I did not have this I was afraid I'd start drinking again). Never had any shakes or tremors.

Day 12. Back to work after "being treated for an ulcer". Feeling great, recovery well under way, nobody the wiser.

[pfcsk]

hi i,m new to the forum but have to tell you about what happened to me ,i was drinking heavily for 15yrs held down a job all that time but it was hard to do it as i would drink 4-6 cans of the strongest lager during the week till it got to my time that was fri-sat when i would drink enough on a fri night to last me all w/end just topping up on a sat and sun then back to my week of 4-6 cans done it for yrs , i would also avoid holidays like 2 weeks of work i always worked thou them as i new they would prob kill me as i would physically hurt myself with drink if i had that much time of ,that used to upset my mum and dad as they knew how i struggled with this terrible disease.during these yrs i made several attempts at stopping usually forced by my wife or parents after making a my problem obvious at family occasions ,i would end up at the docs saying please help but it was for them i was there and not me ,then one day the drinking started at work well i new that i had advanced to another level and soon had no job, this was me in the gutter no money house bills and the rest .
the next bit is frightening as someone up there must have a reason for me being here , my doc on my last visit was not educated in my problem as his advise to me a few yrs earlier were you will just have to stop!so i did had no choice couldn't,t go back to the doc as he had seen me several times and i think he would have said not again , this is how it goes woke up Monday the 1st day of hardest thing i was ever going to do in my life , got throu it really hard 1 minute felt like 1hr, it was so hard got to the end of it then onto Tue then wed all the same very hard no sleep shaking vomiting every thing that could happen i was going throu then Thurday came i was still sore but will always rem the time it was 2.30pm and my wife was going to the supermarket , i felt strong enough to drive her as i had no drink in my system for 4 days, then BANG i took a w/d seizure while driving on the duel carriageway came to 6hrs later in hospital in in intensive care , looking about myself and could not understand anything that was going on around me not one thing all i can rem is just starring at what was happening and not taking anything in at all, until i was told that i had being in a rd traffic accident . still could not take it in as i had no idea of what had happened , then i was told , cant even know the words for how i felt at that time ,dis-pair could not understand why i was still alive , my wife was now at my bedside told me what had happened , she was very lucky and was able to walk away from the accident me well when i went into seizure my back arched and my foot went tight onto the accelerator and i took out about 150meters of central barrier and then a light pole at the end of the carriage way,i had no seat belt on so on impact went throu the air bag into the window i was a absolute mess , there was nothing left of the cars driver side and the pole took the full force of the car and stopped it ,,, when i did see the car days later i could not believe that i had survived such the damage to the car [1.8l vauxhall saloon that we had bought new 10 months earlier.
this is where the horror ends for me as i will never recall in my mind of what happened that day, all i no is that in hospital someone up there switched me back on with the chance to start a new life and i took it , i re-set myself that day, something/one in my head said to me u,ve got another chance in life don't screw it up this time. that was 3yrs ago 22 feb i,m alive and love every day that goes by and i know that i will never drink. that was the biggest fright and fight of my life, and if there is someone looking out for me i,ll never let them down THANKS FOR A 2ND CHANCE AT LIVING A NORMAL LIFE. i,ve met a lot of nice people whom i bump into every other week and they are all in the AA, [they seam to think its not coincidental]and i went to my 1st meeting with them last week as i now know i,ve still got alot to learn and allot to give BACK . THIS BRINGS ME TO MY FINAL WORDS ON MY EXSPERINCE WITH ALCHOL EVERYONE DESERVES A 2nd 3rd 4th.....at what they struggle with in life i got it [thanks for reading my story] ....also like to thank my wife and kids and all my family for being behind me and a big sorry for all the pish i put them throu for 15yrs thanks love you all...................pete

[BellaB44]

First things first. Thank you to everyone here. Reading posts during my weaning/detox was a huge part of getting thru it !
Here is what i did/endured. Sidenote: i was drinking up to 15 shots and a bottle of wine a day. I didnt have the choice to get a safe detox because the only person i had to take my young children was my xhubs and he didnt think i needed help. Hilarious anyway.....
Day 1. Horrific panic at work, felt suicidal. Heart racing, thinking a stroke was coming on.
Went home, had 3 little beers. Slept crappy
Day 2. Vomiting blood at work. Dizzy, feeling completely insane, heart still racing, chills all.day..
Went home, had 2 little beers. Again, barely sleeping. Horrible anxiety
Day 3. &4 a little better. No shaking, and had one beer each nigjt
Day 5. went to my first AA meeting not drunk !!!!
After the suicidal thoughts, I was scared straight. I look back to this , which was only 2 weeks ago, and I cant believe I got through it while working and taking care of my house and kids. If I can do it, anyone can.