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Old 09-10-2007, 10:37 AM   #1 (permalink)
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How often do you talk to your sponsor?

Apologies if this has been asked or if it should be a common sense answer.

After struggling with the concept for a few weeks, I finally reached out and asked a woman at one of the meetings I went to to be my temporary sponsor. I have a really hard time with asking others for help, even when it's really what I need. I don't want to bother my sponsor as I'm sure she has many things she needs to be doing, but know I should probably give her a call.

Any suggestions on how frequency of communication with sponsors / sponsees usually goes?
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Old 09-10-2007, 10:42 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Depends on you and her. I talked a lot to my sponsor in the beginning, but as the relationship evolved into friendship the contacts became more infrequent.
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Old 09-10-2007, 10:47 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Totally up to you and your sponsor. My sponsor used to have me call him every day to check in at the very least, but nowadays it's not nearly as frequent since we see each other at the same meeting almost every day.
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Old 09-10-2007, 10:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Have you read
"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"?

You usually can find it on the free literature rack in meetings.

Glad to see you are moving forward
Recovery Rocks!
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Old 09-10-2007, 12:09 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I call my sponsor every day, unless I know I'll see him at a meeting.

Often it's just to say hi. I the future it will probably be less, but we'll see.

The idea here is that you get used to calling your sponsor, so it becomes a routine habit. This way, hopefully you will call your sponsor before you drink!

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Old 09-10-2007, 02:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Daily. Regardless of whether we will be at the same meeting or not. I struggled with this for years, just like you. I just didn't think I even needed a sponsor. When I got my current sponsor, I made a commitment each day to call him. Before long it became habit and routine, and then I started calling other alcoholics. The only way I was going to develop a relationship with my sponsor was by communicating with him, which in turn has become very important as we move through the steps.
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Old 09-10-2007, 02:52 PM   #7 (permalink)
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The first 2 or 3 years I called my sponsor everyday.
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Old 09-10-2007, 02:58 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'm glad that you asked this question. I probably don't call my sponsor as much as I should..maybe once a week? She hasn't pushed it, justs wants me to check in weekly. Maybe if she forced me to call everyday, I would become more comfy with sharing in general..
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Old 09-10-2007, 09:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
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When I was a newcomer my sponsor had me call every day for the first few months. Then at times when i changed sponsors, they usually had me to call every day for the first 30 days. Fast forward to years later: whenever I must change sponsors I tell the new sponsor that I need to call every day for awhile, until I get comfortable talking to her . Every sponsor has been fine with that. Even after all these years, it is hard to push myself to get to know a new person. Making that commitment to call daily from the get-go makes it easier for me. After I'm comfortable and having meaningful conversations with sponsor, I back off to about 3 times per week, but that's with me having some years clean and having a pretty good ability to apply the program to daily issues. But there is no hard and fast rule. There have been times when my sponsor thought I should call daily until a tough situation passed. A few times I was the one who suggested I should bump it up to daily for awhile, such as when taking medication I was concerned about.
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Old 09-11-2007, 02:28 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madscientist View Post
Apologies if this has been asked or if it should be a common sense answer.

After struggling with the concept for a few weeks, I finally reached out and asked a woman at one of the meetings I went to to be my temporary sponsor. I have a really hard time with asking others for help, even when it's really what I need. I don't want to bother my sponsor as I'm sure she has many things she needs to be doing, but know I should probably give her a call.

Any suggestions on how frequency of communication with sponsors / sponsees usually goes?
Why don't you give your new sponsor a call and ask her? And don't forget. Calling your sponsor isn't a one way street. It's not just to help you. You might just be doing your sponsor a favor by making that call. We all need to hear from each other. My sponsor isn't cured! He needs to hear from me too, as do I from my pigeons.
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Old 09-11-2007, 02:42 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Well for me at first I called my sponsor every day along with 2 other people in the program, as already said this got an old man who hated talking on the phone to anyone used to using the phone and talking to people.

I had about 2 months sober and found out that anger was a MAJOR trigger for me, if I had a beer in front of me at that first instant I would have drank it, thank God I didn't. I started saying the Serenity pray, stopped my truck and called someone in the program. They knew exactly how I was feeling, we talked for 4-5 minutes and suddenly I realized I didn't want a beer any more, I was okay..... I made it another 24 hours!

Frequency of calling your sponsor is between you & your sponsor, however you should call your sponsor any time you feel the need..... even if it is just to say hi.

After I had been sober about 7-8 months my sponsor suggested that I only call on days we were not going to see each other at a meeting but to instead call 3 people every day in the program, after I had finished the steps he said to just call a couple of times a week.

I have my sponsee right now calling me every day which he does so religously, I am going to have him cut back once he gets into the routine of calling other folks in AA daily. But that is how my sponsee & I are doing things, each sponsor does it differently, remember there are no rules..... just suggestions.
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Old 09-11-2007, 09:41 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madscientist View Post
Apologies if this has been asked or if it should be a common sense answer.

I don't want to bother my sponsor as I'm sure she has many things she needs to be doing, but know I should probably give her a call.

Any suggestions on how frequency of communication with sponsors / sponsees usually goes?
i too had a great deal of difficulty asking soemone for help...However, in early recovery frequent contact is extremely importatn. Even if it is just to check in.. For thsoe of us that have difficulty it is an importatn practice...so that when the tough stuff comes we know who to call to get the support we need. Also the frequent contact helps to develop the bond that is vital...One that allows you to get to know that person and that person gets to know you.. That bond was vital, for me...in that thee was someone that really got to know me well enough to call me on my stuff and pull the covers when denial and rationalization crept in.
Lastly...your calls is allowing someone else to be of service...and often times it helps them much more than it may help you...I didn't understand that at first but now with many 24 hours behind me...I have coem to realize and understand just how true that really is..
The gals I sponsor do help me and teach me so much more than I think I am able to do for them..
For the first 6o days my sponsor asked me to call daily...even if it was just to leave a message to say I was ok. it really is between you and the sponsor...ask the sposnor what they think would be best. WE alos got together once each wekk to work the steps...more often if there weas something going on that was a real struggle
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