wingsfree

Drinking Dreams

Whewwwwwww to those, not liking them at all. I've had at least three of them this past while...last nights was the awful, it made me feel so full of guilt, remorse and shame. I could see myself drinking, while I was doing that I was so afraid, I could really feel fear going through my body. I was hiding it and lying to everyone saying I wasn't drinking again. When I finally woke up from it I felt so blasted awful and a part of me really thought I had drank.....lordy wipes my brow that it was just a dream, to real for comfort though.

My question to those with long sobriety.

Do dreams like that stop, or get worse? I know this is probably a silly question, it must depend on each individual, I just need some input with this if anyone has any, please.

It would be interesting to know why this happens, is it like a warning, maybe it's in our sub conscious?

Anyway hoping it doesn't happen again, it really scared me.

Thanks for listening.

Pick-a-name

I had them off and on for months after I stopped smoking cigarettes......felt the same way. Woke up in a panic a few times. They got less frequent and vivid and gradually I stopped having them.

CarolD

I don't know why dreams happen....any dream not just
drinking ones.

Mine lessened in frequency and intensity with sobriety.

I have had 1 in the past year....at 18+ years sober.
I was surprized but not upset.

Hope this helps

Sugah

I'm answering, wingsfree, though I don't consider myself a longtimer. By one definition, I haven't quite made it to "middletimer" status (5-15 yrs). But since there are a lot of newcomers newer than I am, I'll answer from my 4.5 years.

The first three months I was sober, I got the dreams every night. The next three months, I had them about once a week. After that, they would pop up every once in awhile...at least one every month or two.

In the last two years or so, I've had maybe four. Every single one of them was real as real could be, and like you, I woke up thinking I had picked up, and I felt awful. Then the gratitude flooded in when I realized it was just a dream.

One thing I've noticed about the events & circumstances leading up to the dreams is that they happen when I'm stressed or I'm just not doing the things I have come to know I need to do to stay emotionally sober. I'll indulge in resentful feelings, self-pity, egotism...and then I'll have a dream. It's like, when I start acting like a drunk, even a dry one, my mind remembers (just as you suggested) what I used to do.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, wingsfree, and if you're taking care of the disease and not just the symptoms, they'll become infrequent.

Oh...I do know a woman with 24 yrs who says she has one every year right around her anniversary date. She considers it a gift from her HP to remind her that she doesn't want to celebrate that anniversary with a drink.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Mongo

Hi Wingsfree

Yep, those dreams can be really nasty. I do find that my dreams have really become vivid, technicolor marvels since I quit drinking. And, sometimes those dreams do involve drinking. They last for awhile(I still get them after even a year.)

I've waken up sometimes so depressed or upset I've actually been sobbing.

So be it. I'll take the dreams over a hangover anyday. After all, I'm upset for a short period of time and then it's over, 10 or 15 minutes max.

Studies show that the cells in our brains can actually regrow and develop new neural pathways as we abstain. Essentially, our brains are healing as best they can.

I like to think of these dreams as our brains way of working things out, and are a healthy sign.

So they do last for awhile, at least they have for me. Treating them as a positive step in my recovery has helped me cope with them.

Hope this helps, keep well

Ron

wingsfree

Thank you all for your posts......now that I think of it I have been a bit more stressed the past few days.....also I'm coming up to one year of sobriety, looking like it's all connected.

Oh I was very grateful when I realised it was just a dream, I don't ever want to go back to that living hell again.

Thanks again everyone.

Peter

Yes the dreams do stop after a while, at least they did for me and That is what I have heard others say.

I know how real and vivid these dreams can be and I never really understood why they (using dreams) always seemed more "realistic" than any other dreams I have.

parentrecovers

keep talking about them, they say that helps a lot. blessings, k

leviathon

I had them for a brief period of time and then they faded away. I also have had the experience that my dreams are now much more vivid.

One caveat, I have had the odd dream even after a year... well not really a dream, waking up and feeling like I had drank... but hadn't.

barb dwyer

I'm grateful I only had the one ... and it was stupid.

yeah.
Like I'd drink a wine cooler ... at least that made me know I was dreaming.

Woke up with the taste in my mouth.
The horror.
LOL

They're just dreams, though.

Congrats on stucking with it!!!

barb dwyer

*stucking* ???

LOL

STICKING ...

Chiovnidca

I still have those dreams, maybe one every 3-4 months. I wake up and thank my higher power for helping me stay sober, then I go back to sleep.

wingsfree

LOL Barb I'm so happy I'm stucking, it out also *grins* laughing here.

Yep if they want to continue, it's only a GOOD reminder of where we've been and don't ever want to go back YUCK, BLECH, BLAH, UGH I say to that

GlassPrisoner

Few and far between now, but still on occasion.

However I still have really Vivid dreams. Full on Technicolor , directed by George Lucus/Speilberg written by Tarintito & Palahniuk....

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

I just had one the other night! It was Jack Daniels, and I never drank that, but once.

My last week has been a bit stressful as well...thank you for posting this. I think I'll pray a bit more today..

xo

Sunlight81

My sponsor and I have 58 years between us. This is what we believe. They are a gift from your HP. You get to feel the feelings without doing the crime. Not everybody has them but those that do tend to stay sober. Welcome home.

hopeOct31

I have had a couple in the past but not for a while...until last night. I had a horrible drunk dream and at the end I had somehow injured myself drunk and paralyzed the right side of my body. I actually woke up this morning not thinking I had the use of my right arm! It was really disturbing.
I also had a flashback today of something that happened while I was really really drunk. It instantly made me sick to my stomach.
It seems my HP is sending a strong message to me right now... which I probably needed.
All my best, hopeoct31

fuster

My dreams have decreased during the past 13 years of sobriety. I still get some real vivid ones, however. The thing you can control is not the dreams but how you handle your feelings after the dream. Make sure you have some management tools in place that are portable and easy to use so you can use them when these dreams occur. It can be as easy as making sure you call another person in recovery to talk about how you feel about the dream. 12 Step meetings are a big plus for me. Like Verizon, I have "the network working for me".

chip

I get the odd drinking dream. I think of them as a gift because they show me what it would be like to relapse...without actually relapsing. I had one last night. For some reason I decided to have a pint of beer, in my dream. As I drank it, I found a strong craving started up inside. When it was finished, I REALLY wanted another one. I also started thinking about what it would be like to go back to AA and start over again.

When I woke up, I was glad that I was sober. This isn't something I ever want to do. My drinking days are over.

Here's another drinking dream I had a couple weeks ago.....

In my dream I wasn't drinking, but the dream was about AFTER drinking. In my dream I was puking up foamy warm beer vomit in the toilet. I was heaving and sweating. Again, when I woke up I was glad that I don't drink any more.

I hope nobody here goes through the hell I went through at the end of my drinking. I wish everyone here a wonderful sober day.
chip

TouchTheMirror

I have them frequently, but then again, I'm not very far into my recovery at all.

Just had one last night in fact. My wife and I were having a party at our house and I forgot that I had hidden about 50 empty beer cans on the roof (?????). When I answered the door to greet some of our friends, all the cans came tumbling off the roof and onto us. Everyone was looking at me and shaking their heads. I felt totally humiliated.

I can still hear them as they hit the cement.........*sigh*