Please help me to help my friend.

[john_acrob]

Hi, I don't have a problem with alcohol personally, but i am very worried about a close friend. I'll try and describe some of his 'symptoms'. Basically i wanted to see what experienced people thought about it, and what if anything, my friends and I could say to him to convince him to get some help(if you think he needs any).

My friend is 21 years old, and one of 10 in a close group of friends, all guys, who went to highschool together. I'll call him "Clyde". Ever since we first started drinking on the weekends, in about grade 10, Clyde always drank to excess. The first night we all really got into it, he drank himself stupid and nearly had to go to hospital to get his stomach pumped.

Since then, he's had his ups and downs. At one point we all sat him down and talked to him about his drinking, because it had got out of hand. He was excessively drunk every weekend and usually violent. He listenned to us and seemed to take it to heart, but then afterwards he took one of us aside and said, "If you ever say anything to me about my drinking again, I'll ******* kill you."

His drinking has since gotten worse. Before he goes out on a Saturday night he drinks by himself all day in anticipation. Sometimes he's had 7 beers by himself before we even get to the pub. When he comes straight to the pub after work or whatever, i notice his hands sometimes shake until he gets a drink into him. He is frequently ejected from any establishment he enters. Each time I've been out with him lately he has been so drunk he's basically falling asleep in the pub. He usually escapes to the pokie-room(a room full of slot machines) and sits for hours alone, slowly getting more and more drunk and pissing his money up the wall. A few weeks ago he was so drunk he was head butting the machine, and then staggering all over the dance floor crashing into everybody around him. I had to ask a bouncer to remove him, because i knew he was about to get himself beaten up.

Whenever he drinks he changes, sometimes he becomes incredibly aggressive(which is a problem, because he's 6'4" and nearly 110 kilograms) and threatens his friends. A couple of times he's hurt himself. One of these times he broke a glass and deliberately cut up his shin. He told me he did to prove that he's "Hard" and he walked around the street flaunting his wounds to anyone who looked at him cross-eyed. Another time he got drunk alone and carved his nickname into his chest with what i believe was a knife. He took photo's and showed a couple of us, but he was clearly embarrassed about it. Sometimes when he's drunk he becomes incomprehensible and speaks nonsense, other times he drops cryptic comments about his sexuality which leave us wondering if he might be gay, but won't admit it.

It's also important i think to note, that his younger brother had a similar problem. He is a recovering alcoholic at only the age of 17. 17 years old and he'll never be able to enjoy a drink again for as long he lives. He used to cut himself aswell, and once attempted suicide. It seems logical to assume somethings wrong at home, but their parents seem to be loving and gentle. My friends joke that it's because he's half irish and booze is in his blood, but being half-irish myself, i know that's a tired sterotype. Maybe its genetic?

Anyway, we're worried about him, and don't know what to say to get through to him. He could be on the same course as his brother, who nearly died. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Pilgrim]

Thank you. You wrote that with compassion and without judgement.

I don't know how to help. I just wanted to say thanks for being such a good friend to one of us.

We don't enjoy our drinking.

One of the hardest things for him will be stopping when all his close buddies are still drinking. His loneliness is already hard for him. When you hang out, would you guys consider stopping too if he finds a way to stop?

[CarolD]

As this is a duplicate thread to

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ned-about.html

Please reply there to John.

Thanks