jimhere

In the months before I got sober, I would show up at meetings drunk. A few times I was disruptive in the meeting, making it difficult for the rest of the members to hear what was being said.

I especially recall the time when, after I showed up drunk and was disrupting the meeting, two old-timers who know what is going on took me downstairs and got me a cup of coffee. They spent the rest of the meeting down stairs with me, talking. One of them said "You are welcome in our group, but don't make it hard for the rest of us. Please come back to the meeting when you can behave."

They never said "don't come back." I was treated with compassion, dignity, and firmness. Those guys understood our First Tradition, in which the welfare of the group comes before the welfare of any individual, but that the welfare of the individual follows closely.

It was that kind of treatment that allowed me to keep coming back until I did eventually get sober in January 1991. If a drinking alcoholic can't come to AA, where else is he (or she) going to go?
Jim

Peter

It's an Alcoholics meeting, what else would you find at an AA meeting but a bunch of drunks in all stages of recovery.

In my opinion any "AA" meeting that turns a sot away is not an AA meeting because it is not conforming to the primary principle of membership.

Sharing at a meeting while intoxicated.....well that's another matter.....

2dayzmuse

AA would be the last place I would go if I had been drinking. That was then, if I were ever to slip and drink now, I would run to a meeting if it would help me from drinking, stop the endless binge. I have smelt alcohol many times in meetings. I figured that person was at the right place at the right time. I don't plan on testing the waters. I prefer AA meetings sober.

michski

I showed up drunk to meetings more times than I can remember... I never talked though I think I cried once. I vaguely remember a woman hugging me, telling me to Keep Coming Back and that they would love me until I loved myself. I really needed that! It took me years to finally be able to share at that particular meeting but when I did I made sure to thank them for being ever so kind and generous of spirit. It made for such a safe haven for me during those crazy months of early recovery.

Grasshopper

I never went to any meeting drunk,but a friend of mine did at her first meeting.She picked up a desire chip and has been sober for many years now.
From AA General Service Confernece-approved literature.[purple flyer,ya can get at any meeting}
we cannot discriminate against any prospective AA member,even if he,or,she comes to us under pressure from a court,an employer or any other agency.Although the strenght of our program lies in the voluntary nature of membership in AA many of us first attended meetings because we were forced to,either by someone else,or by our inner discomfort.But continual exposuer to AA educated us to the true nature of our illness.We then developed a desire for a happy sober life like that of other members we saw and we attended meetings willingly and with gratitude.We have no right to withhold the AA message from anyone,no matter who referred that person to us,or what his or her attitude is at first.Who made the referral to AA is not what AA is interested in.It is the problem drinker who IS our concern.Regardless of our intial opinion of any new-comer,we cannot predict who will recover.
this flyer---cooperation,but not affillation.How AA members cooperate with professionals.
Bottom line of course is the group conscience.

CarolD

Excellent GH! Thanks!

Islandchild

I never attended a meeting when I was still drinking, but have been to plenty where others have. Depending on their behavior, they either sit and listen, or are escorted out with some kind volunteers, if they are too unruly. Drunks are tolerated kindly and encouraged to come back. One thing about a person who is drinking - you cannot tell them anything. They simply cannot "hear" anything. But, somehow, seeds can be planted and may take hold. It may be the love and tolerance that brings them back, or the feeling of safety in an AA meeting. I have known people come back and stay sober, and ones that didn't. The other thing is, as selfish as this may sound, those precious souls who come drunk to a meeting help to keep me sober. There is nothing like the smell of bourbon floating through the air to fill me with gratitude. I am only one drink away from joining them.
Leslie

deax

I went to an AA meeting with my ex once, and this guy walked in who was looking pretty... unkempt and had clearly been drinking. And my bf leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "See that? Keeps it green for me." So he sort of got the same thing from the situation that you did, Leslie.

Unfortunately, as far as I know, my ex is probably still drinking, so I guess his theory didn't work that well for him. But he was a good one for comparing himself to other alcoholics/addicts, and he would have never made such a public appearance. (shrug)

Anyway, they let that drunk guy stay at that meeting too.

Music

In my early sobriety, my sponsor and I used to travel about 50 miles from northern Illinois into Chicago every Monday night to attend a meeting at Catholic Charities. These were guys who came in off the street, sometimes drunk, sometimes bloody and beaten, but for sure in a bad state of affairs. These guys lived in cardboard boxes over steam grates and down on lower Whacker Drive. They'd get beat up for the price of a bottle of cheap wine. They didn't say much usually. They didn't have to!!

jlo34

Great topic.

I have gone to many meetings drunk. I have chaired and made coffee for meetings drunk. I have gone to meetings because I was forced to by my mother.

For almost one year...it took me that long to figure out that I was the one who wanted sobriety. I stayed "dry" for 6 months, then celebrated by getting drunk. Went back to meetings and stayed dry for another 4-5 months. Then drunk. During this last period, I was never asked to leave. I was never told to shut up. These people had seen me struggle for the prior almost year. They loved me. They hurt for me. They did everything they could for me. They did intervention and intervention.

They talked, they prayed...then my last drunk. I went to yet another meeting drunk. I remember bringing up the topic, being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I remember quite vividly what a woman told me. She told me I was at the crossroads. I needed to make the decision whether I was to live or die. They all commented that they knew I had been drinking and had been for a while. They all expressed their love and prayers for me. What really stuck? The fact that I had a choiice. Somebody TOLD ME that I HAD A CHOICE!!!

I ended up being escorted to a juvenile lock up treatment center that night. Not by my choice. My mom, my sponsor and 3 friends from the program helped take me there. I had a horribly humiliating experience at my sponsor's house prior to them taking me to treatment. I got in a fight and I nearly hurt my sponsors kids...but I was too drunk to get up. After the meeting, I got more drunk.

It's a long story, but THANK YOU GOD for these people who DIDN'T give up on me. I'm so grateful. They all hung by me and kept loving me and praying for me. I'm so thankful they wouldn't give up on me. I know my mom is too. My mom celebrated 16 years in Al-Anon while I thankfully celebrated 15 years sober this past April. Only by God's grace and the love and prayers of the people in Alcoholics Anonymous, am I here.

Jen

Ngokpa

AA folklore has it that the drunk in an AA meeting is a service position. Doesn't exactly make you harken for the "good old days". Last one I saw was right after Hurricane Katrina; he was going to go down to New Orleans to help those people. Didn't have anything to say to the suggestion that he get sober first. Never saw him again.

Time2Surrender

Never went to meeting loaded, but I have seen others do it. Some of them are still there and now sober. Some havent found their way back yet. Others are gone forever.

IrishEyes9302

I'm new to this forum, but I 100% agree with you. I think part of why AA works is the fact that it is a place where you don't need to feel judged, especially since this disease can often involve so much scrutiny and judgement from people outside of the program. I remember when I first started coming around, not that I ever came actually intoxicated, but certainly I was hungover and in rough shape more than once. No one passed judgement on me and it felt ok for me to be just where I was at that moment. "Bring the body, the mind will follow" isn't that the saying? I remember one night in particular after what I hope was my last drink, someone coming over to me and thanking me for keeping them sober for that day. I didn't get what the heck he was talking about at the time, but I understand today.

Just seeing someone that messed up is such a Remember When for me. I think it's so important that we never forget where we come from. If I'm reminded of what that feels like - being drunk because you feel you have to be while you want SO badly to be sober - I feel like I have that much more of a defense against that first drink. Because I never want that again. And seeing it in others helps me to be grateful that I don't feel like that today. I need to remember what my life WAS in order to fully appreciate what it IS.

Just my two cents

CarolD

....Hi IrishEyes9302

Welcome to SR!

Blessings...

fraankie

well, there's the other side
went to an aniiversary meeting tonight
and
what a great time
to see so many sober people
dancing, sharing, etc
and
yes
there was a homeless guy
but
no one objected to his presence



best
fraankie

brigid

I have been to a limited number of AA meetings but a couple that I went to, there were about 10 members show up, one of the ladies had been drinking during the day on both occassions. She was honest about it, lovely and obviously well accepted at the meeting, went to a lot of trouble to put things out nicely etc. I loved that! I loved that this person was totally accepted, allowed to be honest (she was not disruptive at all, so that may be a different scenario) and was really welcomed.

Other than disrupting a meeting, why would it be a problem to have someone at a meeting that had been drinking or was drunk? Isn't that what AA is about, well not encouraging drinking but about people who find it impossible to not drink.

love and peace,
Brigid

Islandchild

There is an expression in AA "identify not compare". I did a lot of the comparing thing at first, especially when I heard people share their stories. I did the same thing I did when I was drinking: "I am not as bad as there are" "I didn't do that while I was drunk", etc. As long as I compared, I could make myself still an outsider...
Hopefully, your ex will wake up someday...

Little Missy

Around here, you can come in drunk. Atleast that's one hour you are not drinking. If someone were to become disruptive, then they would be asked to leave.

I've heard, in another town, the cops have been called prior to the meeting started because of someone being drunk, wanting to fight and causing trouble. But that would happen anywhere, not just AA.

deax

Good point, I never quite thought of it that way. Yes, hopefully he will, before it's too late... Thanks.

Islandchild

My pleasure! I hope that helps you - it sure helped me!