-06- Daily Reflections

[2dayzmuse]

January 4, 2006


Daily Reflections


BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE

We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a
beginning. A much more important demonstration of our
principles lies before us in our respective homes,
occupations and affairs.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.19

It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the
people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay
sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common
release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so
hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends
in the program. At home or at work, though, it can be
a difference story. It is in situations arising in
both of those areas that the little day-to-day
frustrations are most evident, and where it can be
tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an
attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that
I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk
through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.

[2dayzmuse]

January 5, 2006


Daily Reflections


TOTAL ACCEPTANCE

He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will
be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without
it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will
be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.152

Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a
statement like this one. The double standard that held
me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with
terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going
to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's
going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me
ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total
acceptance of my alcoholism - with no reservations
whatsoever - and one that was absolutely essential for
my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had
ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary
one if I was to succeed in this program.

[2dayzmuse]

January 7, 2006


Daily Reflections


AT THE TURNING POINT

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We
asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can
propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and
to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide
to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to
ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are
endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering
resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me
daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of
them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear
daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful,
wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely
paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help,
with complete abandon, that I become willing -- and able -- to change.

[2dayzmuse]

January 8, 2006


Daily Reflections


DO I HAVE A CHOICE?

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet
obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our
so-called willpower becomes practically nonexistent.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.24

My powerlessness over alcohol does not cease when I
quit drinking. In sobriety I still have no choice - I
can't drink. The choice I do have is to pick up and
use the "kit of spiritual tools" (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 25).
When I do that, my Higher Power relieves me of my lack
of choice - and keeps me sober one more day. If I could
choose not to pick up a drink today, where then would

be my need for A.A. or a Higher Power?

[2dayzmuse]

January 9, 2006


Daily Reflections


AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE

It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have
warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive
drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it
from us.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 21

My act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care
and direction), came as I experienced the total
bankruptcy of active alcoholism - everything meaningful
in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous
and, from that instant, my life has never been the same.
When I reflect on that very special moment, I know that
God was working in my life long before I was able to
acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was
put down through this one act of Providence and my
journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold
with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I
admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had
become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me - one
day at a time - in the life-saving, life-giving
Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[2dayzmuse]

January 11, 2006


Daily Reflections


THE 100% STEP

Only Step One, where we made the 100 percent admission we were
powerless over alcohol, can be practiced with absolute perfection.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 68

Long before I was able to obtain sobriety in A.A., I knew without a
doubt that alcohol was killing me, yet even with this knowledge, I was
unable to stop drinking. So, when faced with Step One, I found it
easy to admit that I lacked the power to not drink. But was my life
unmanageable? Never! Five months after coming into A.A., I was
drinking again and wondered why.

Later on, back in A.A. and smarting from my wounds, I learned that
Step One is the only Step that can be taken 100%. And that the only
way to take it 100% is to take 100% of the Step. That was many
twenty-four hours ago and I haven't had to take Step One again.

[2dayzmuse]

January 12, 2006


Daily Reflections


ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES

Our very first problem is to accept our present
circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the
people about us as they are. This is to adopt a
realistic humility without which no genuine advance can
even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to
that unflattering point of departure. This is an
exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice
every day of our lives. Provided we strenuously avoid
turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life
into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they
can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional
health and therefore spiritual progress can be built.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 44

When I am having a difficult time accepting people,
places or events, I turn to this passage and it relieves
me of many an underlying fear regarding others, or
situations life presents me. The thought allows me to be
human and not perfect, and to regain my peace of mind.

[2dayzmuse]

January 13, 2006


Daily Reflections


IT DOESN'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily
reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

The most common alcoholic fantasy seems to be: "If I just don't
drink, everything will be all right." Once the fog cleared for me, I
saw -- for the first time -- the mess my life had become. I had family,
work, financial and legal problems; I was hung up on old religious
ideas; there were sides of my character to which I was inclined to stay blind
because they easily could have convinced me that I was hopeless and
pushed me toward escape again. The Big Book guided me in
resolving all of my problems. But it didn't happen overnight -- and
certainly not automatically -- with no effort on my part. I need always to
recognize God's mercy and blessings that shine through any problem
I have to face.

[2dayzmuse]

January 15, 2006


Daily Reflections


AN UNSUSPECTED INNER RESOURCE

With few exceptions our members find that they have
tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they
presently identify with their own conception of a
Power greater than themselves.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 569-70

From my first days in A.A., as I struggled for sobriety,
I found hope in these words from our founders. I often
pondered the phrase: "they have tapped an unsuspected
inner resource." How, I asked myself, can I find the
Power within myself, since I am so powerless? In time,
as the founders promised, it came to me: I have always
had the choice between goodness and evil, between
unselfishness and selfishness, between serenity and
fear. That Power greater than myself is an original
gift that I did not recognize until I achieved daily
sobriety through living A.A.'s Twelve Steps.

[2dayzmuse]

January 16, 2006


Daily Reflections


HITTING BOTTOM

Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom
first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try
to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit
bottom. For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven Steps
means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost
no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24

Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to
try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new
life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how
to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my
training wheels and my supporting hand. It's not that
I wanted the help so much at the time; I simply did
not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid
hitting bottom again was more powerful than my desire
to drink. In the beginning that was what kept me sober.
But after a while I found myself working the Steps to
the best of my ability. I soon realized that my
attitudes and actions were changing - if ever so
slightly. One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with
myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal.
Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand
that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous.

[2dayzmuse]

January 18, 2006


Daily Reflections


WOULD A DRINK HELP?

By going back in our drinking histories, we could show
that years before we realized it we were out of control,
that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that was
indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23

When I was still drinking, I couldn't respond to any of
life's situations the way other, more healthy, people
could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind
that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings.
But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I
sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be
aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that
I have gained control of my drinking - or again I will
think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling
of control is fatal to my recovery.

[2dayzmuse]

January 19, 2006


Daily Reflections


ROUND-THE-CLOCK FAITH

Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through
us, or we perish.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.16

The essence of my spiritually, and my sobriety, rests
on a round-the-clock faith in a Higher Power. I need to
remember and rely on the God of my understanding as I
pursue all of my daily activities. How comforting for
me is the concept that God works in and through people.
As I pause in my day, do I recall specific concrete
examples of God's presence? Am I amazed and uplifted by
the number of times this power is evident? I am
overwhelmed with gratitude for my God's presence in my
life of recovery. Without this omnipotent force in my
every activity, I would again fall into the depths of
my disease - and death.

[2dayzmuse]

January 20, 2006


Daily Reflections


"WE PAUSE . . . AND ASK"

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or
doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.87

Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to
find the space between my impulse and my action; to
let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with
heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to
accept the moment which allows judgment to become
discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would
rush to attack or defend. I promise to watch for every
opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for
guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within
me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills
- it is the unsuspected Inner Resource. I thank my
Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see
when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today
and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the
right thought or action today.

[2dayzmuse]

January 22, 2006


Daily Reflections


"LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE"

A few hours later I took my leave of Dr. Bob. . . The
wonderful, old, broad smile was on his face as he said
almost jokingly, "Remember, Bill, let's not louse this
thing up. Let's keep it simple!" I turned away, unable
to say a word. That was the last time I ever saw him.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE, p 214

After years of sobriety I occasionally ask myself: "Can
it be this simple?" Then, at meetings, I see former
cynics and skeptics who have walked the A.A. path out
of hell by packaging their lives, without alcohol, into
twenty-four hour segments, during which they practice a
few principles to the best of their individual
abilities. And then I know again that, while it isn't
always easy, if I keep it simple, it works.

[2dayzmuse]

January 23, 2006


Daily Reflections


HAVING FUN YET?

. . . we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no
joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We
absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to
indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor
do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 132

When my own house is in order, I find the different
parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from
the guilt and remorse that clocked my drinking years,
I am free to assume my proper role in the universe,
but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop
and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find
answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps
I'm taking myself too seriously - and finding it
difficult to admit that I've strayed from my practice
of working the program to keep my house in order. I
think the pain I experience is one way my Higher Power
has to get my attention, coaxing me to take stock of
my performance. The slight time and effort it takes to
work the program - a spot-check inventory, for example,
or the making of amends, whatever is appropriate - are
well worth the effort.

[2dayzmuse]

January 24, 2006


Daily Reflections


GETTING INVOLVED

There is action and more action. "Faith without works
is dead." . . . To be helpful is our only aim.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , pp. 88-89

I understand that service is a vital part of recovery
but I often wonder, "What can I do?" Simply start with
what I have today! I look around to see where there is
a need. Are the ashtrays full? Do I have hands and feet
to empty them? Suddenly I'm involved! The best speaker
may make the worst coffee; the member who's best
with newcomers may be unable to read; the one willing to
clean up may make a mess of the bank account -
yet every one of these people and jobs is essential
to an active group. The miracle of service is this:
when I use what I have, I find there is more available
to me than I realized before.

[2dayzmuse]

January 25, 2006


Daily Reflections


WHAT WE NEED - EACH OTHER

. . . . A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker,
"You are an A.A. member if you say so . . . nobody can
keep you out."
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139

For years, whenever I reflected on Tradition Three
("The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire
to stop drinking"), I thought it valuable only to
newcomers. It was their guarantee that no one could bar
them from A.A. Today I feel enduring gratitude for the
spiritual development the Tradition has brought me. I
don't seek out people obviously different from myself.
Tradition Three, concentrating on the one way I am
similar to others, brought me to know and help every
kind of alcoholic, just as they have helped me.
Charlotte, the atheist, showed me higher standards of
ethics and honor; Clay, of another race, taught me
patience; Winslow, who is gay, led me by example into
true compassion; Young Megan says that seeing me at
meetings, sober thirty years, keeps her coming back.
Tradition Three insured that we would get what we need
- each other.

[2dayzmuse]

January 26, 2006


Daily Reflections


RIGOROUS HONESTY

Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant?
Who wants to confess his faults to another and make
restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about
a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer?
Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to
carry A.A.'s message to the next sufferer? No, the
average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme,
doesn't care for this prospect - unless he has to
do these things in order to stay alive himself.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24

I am an alcoholic. If I drink I will die. My, what
power, energy, and emotion this simple statement
generates in me! But it's really all I need to know
for today. Am I willing to stay alive today? Am I
willing to stay sober today? Am I willing to ask for
help and am I willing to be a help to another suffering
alcoholic today? Have I discovered the fatal nature of
my situation? What must I do, today, to stay sober?

[2dayzmuse]

January 27, 2006


Daily Reflections


FREEDOM FROM GUILT

Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word
"blame" from our speech and thought.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47

When I become willing to accept my own powerlessness, I begin to
realize that blaming myself for all the trouble in my life can be an ego
trip back into hopelessness. Asking for help and listening deeply to
the messages inherent in the Steps and Traditions of the program
make it possible to change those attitudes which delay my recovery. Before
joining A.A., I had such a desire for approval from people in powerful
positions that I was willing to sacrifice myself, and others, to gain a
foothold in the world. I invariably came to grief. In the program I
find true friends who love, understand, and care to help me learn the truth
about myself. With the help of the Twelve Steps, I am able to build a
better life, free of guilt and the need for self-justification.

[2dayzmuse]

January 28, 2006


Daily Reflections


THE TREASURE OF THE PAST

Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life
seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is
the greatest possession you have -- the key to life and happiness for others. With it you
can avert death and misery for them.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124

What a gift it is for me to realize that all those seemingly useless years were not wasted.
The most degrading and humiliating experiences turn out to be the most powerful tools in
helping others to recover. In knowing the depths of shame and despair, I can reach out
with a loving and compassionate hand, and know that the grace of God is available to me.

[2dayzmuse]

January 29, 2006


Daily Reflections


THE JOY OF SHARING

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover,
to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to
see a fellowship grow up about you. to have a host of
friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We
know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with
newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our
lives.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 89

To know that each newcomer with whom I share has the
opportunity to experience the relief that I have found
in this Fellowship fills me with joy and gratitude. I
feel that all the things described in A.A. will come to
pass for them, as they have for me, if they seize the
opportunity and embrace the program fully.

[2dayzmuse]

January 30, 2006


Daily Reflections


FREEDOM FROM . . . FREEDOM TO

We are going to know a new freedom. . . .
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 83

Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to.
The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from the slavery
of alcohol. What a relief! Then I begin to experience
freedom from fear - fear of people, of economic
insecurity, of commitment, of failure, of rejection.
Then I begin to enjoy freedom to - freedom to choose
sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to
express my opinion, to experience peace of mind, to
love and be loved, and freedom to grow spiritually.
But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book
clearly says that before I am halfway through making
amends, I will begin to know a "new" freedom; not the
old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard
to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment
of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free!

[2dayzmuse]

February 2, 2006


Daily Reflections


RESCUED BY SURRENDERING

Characteristic of the so-called typical alcoholic is a narcissistic
egocentric core, dominated by feelings of omnipotence, intent
on maintaining at all costs its inner integrity.... Inwardly the alcoholic
brooks no control from man or God. He, the alcoholic, is and must be
the master of his destiny. He will fight to the end to preserve that
position.
A.A. COMES OF AGE, p.311

The great mystery is: "Why do some of us die alcoholic deaths,
fighting to preserve the 'independence' of our ego, while others seem
to sober up effortlessly in A.A.?" Help from a Higher Power, the gift of
sobriety, came to me when an otherwise unexplained desire to stop
drinking coincided with my willingness to accept the suggestions of
the men and women of A.A. I had to surrender, for only by reaching
out to God and my fellows could I be rescued.

[2dayzmuse]

February 3, 2006


Daily Reflections


FILLING THE VOID

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. "Do I now
believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater
than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is
willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his
way.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 47

I was always fascinated with the study of scientific principles. I was
emotionally and physically distant from people while I pursued
Absolute Knowledge. God and spirituality were meaningless
academic exercises. I was a modern man of science, knowledge was
my Higher Power. Given the right set of equations, life was merely
another problem to solve. Yet my inner self was dying from my outer
man's solution to life's problems and the solution was alcohol. In
spite of my intelligence, alcohol became my Higher Power. It was
through the unconditional love which emanated from A.A. people and
meetings that I was able to discard alcohol as my Higher Power. The
great void was filled. I was no longer lonely and apart from life. I
had found a true power greater than myself, I had found God's love.
There is only one equation which really matters to me now: God is in
A.A.

[2dayzmuse]

February 4, 2006


Daily Reflections


WHEN FAITH IS MISSING

Sometimes A.A. comes harder to those who have lost or
rejected faith than to those who never had any faith
at all, for they think they have faith and found it
wanting. They have tried the way of faith and the way
of no faith.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 28

I was so sure God had failed me that I became ultimately
defiant, though I knew better, and plunged into a final
drinking binge. My faith turned bitter and that was no
coincidence. Those who once had great faith hit bottom
harder. It took time to rekindle my faith, though I
came to A.A. I was grateful intellectually to have
survived such a great fall, but my heart felt callous.
Still, I stuck with the A.A. program; the alternatives
were too bleak! I kept coming back and gradually my
faith was resurrected.