Being selfless...

[Slowbriety]

has been the topic of choice in tha last few meetings i have been in. might as well talk about humility.

i dunno, i just dont get it.


any thoughts?

[Justme57]

Hi there Slow

I usually find that if I come across topics repeated in meetings , it must be what I am meant to hear

I could never understand the concept of "selfless" either , and still dont fully, but i came to realise that although I thought of myself as a "giving" and 'unselfish" person, that was not the case. I was totally consumed by ME, and could never see it . i worried about what people thought of ME, what they said about ME, wether they liked ME, if I could do anything for them which would make ME feel better, and on and on it went.

i have found it a good tool for me , to realise I am not that important, and often have to remind myself of the fact. Since I have done this , I find that I have developed , quite unconciously, a genuine concern for others , it is a different feeling altogether .

I am not explaining myself very well, but you might get something from it

HUGX
Lee

[Slowbriety]

no, i get what you are saying. but to me, being selfish can be a good thing and a bad thing. when i was a drunk i used people and threw them away if they didnt have anything else to offer me, then move on to the next person, never giving back. but what i have found since being in the program a few 24 hours, is i got sober for myself, to go to meeting for myself, im doing all this stuff for myself, but in the process of doing those things for myself, i have the ability to help others, working with alki's and sharing in meetings. even the book says, nothing ensures amunity from alcohol then workling with another alki. isnt that selfish? but at the same time you are helping another.

i dunno, if im not selfish with my recovery how can i be of maximum service to God and my fellow man?

just my .02, now time for class.

[Justme57]

Yes , I know ! thats the part I dont understand . When I was very newly sober, the older sobers told me , to put my sobriety first, and to me that seems selfish, BUT if I dont , I am no good to man or beast .....or another alkie for that matter

HUGX
Lee

[Slowbriety]

im picking up what you`re putting down.

[laurie6781]

Getting sober and learning how to LIVE the 12 steps One Day At a time to change me was and is SELFISH.

However, by doing this, it in turn has turned me into a civilized SELFLESS human being able to volunteer at the animal shelter and the rescue mission. Able to go visit those in the nursing home who get no visitors, and able to work with other alkies and share my ES&H. It also made it possible for me to change careers and become a home caregiver to the terminally ill and lifelong disabled, until my own disabilities made it impossible for me to work anymore.

So after many many ODAATs this alkie has come to the conclusion that Selfish and Selfless go hand in hand.

JMHO

Love and (((((to all))))),

[CarolD]

For me....

Staying sober and practicing the Golden Rule

makes me a success in life.

I keep it simple and I am not anylical.

[Peter]

"Selfless"

Does not mean that I think "less of self", but that that I think of "myself, less".

[Music]

AA is a "We" program! My program is an "I" program.

[HOLLYW]

I Think Humility Or Being Humble Means Not Thinking That You Are Not Above Everyone And That We All Share Our Spot On Earth. My Sister Is A Born Again Christian And She Has Taught Me That I May Not Have More Knowledge, Looks, Personality, Money Etc..... We All Have Problems, But All We Have To Do Is Listen To People, Not To Try To Outdo Them Or Tell Them How They Should Live.
Do Not Judge
Thats My Definition
9 Days Sober!!!!!!!!!!
God Bless You All
Holly

[requiredfield]

This is a great topic...

In early sobriety, when they say it's a selfish program I think they mean you must put your sobriety before anything else. The point of that, I think it to learn how to not be a people pleaser. Example, your brother is turning 30 and having a big party next weekend and you're 12 days sober. Well, the idea is to put your sobriety first and not risk being in risky drinking situations. Here, putting your sobriety first is most important because if you go to that party to please your brother and end up drinking your chances of ever living a selfless day are slim to none. Alcoholics are by their very nature self centered and every problem we've ever had is based on self centered fear because we make things that happen in life ABOUT us, when in fact they usually are out of our control.

Once you've learned how to stay sober one day at a time, and put sobriety in the #1 spot, you can then work the steps and begin breaking down that self centered fear that you have lived w. your entire life. By placing your faith into your HP and living for his will, and not your own you begin the journey of living selflessly. Which by the way, is not something that happens overnight and not something that can be perfected. It is, like everything else, one day at a time.

[Chy]

Originally Posted by Justme57

Hi there Slow

I usually find that if I come across topics repeated in meetings , it must be what I am meant to hear


HUGX
Lee

Absolutly!

[Slowbriety]

By placing your faith into your HP and living for his will, and not your own you begin the journey of living selflessly.

good point.