2nd day in AA

[Judy]

Hi, it's my 2nd day in AA, and it's been great to admit finally to my alcoholism, but it's also been really painful as well. I've been in Al-anon for 2 years so I'm familiar with 12 step programs, but I'm very confused emotionally. I know 'this too shall pass', but I was wondering how long it takes before I stop crying all the time. As soon as I speak to any other AA members, I just start crying, and it's a mix of pain and relief. I know nobody has the answer because everyone is on their own path of recovery, but any words would help me. I think the hardest part for me right now is that I haven't told any friends or family. I'm a binge drinker and have never been told I have a problem - I'm a high functioning alcoholic. I guess I'm just afraid of what my family and friends will think of me. I'm not planning on telling everyone right away, because they don't need to know, but I would like to at least tell my sister, but I am scared. I know that I have a disease and I shouldn't be ashamed, but I am. I tried for about a year to control my drinking so I wouldn't blackout at social events, but as an alcoholic, I have no control.

Any words would be of great help at this time. I'm going to my second meeting today for the second day, and have made phone calls also.

Thanks!

[Phinneas]

Welcome to SR, Judy. Glad you're here.

It's a mixture of sadness and relief, isn't it, when we finally admit to our alcoholism and start to do something about it? It was for me, too. Then removing alcohol from the body brings up all sorts of crazy emotions. I cried and cried and cried some more in those first days, weeks and months. I walked into my AA meetings not as a person, but as a big ball of pain, it seems like. But the women there loved me through my emotions and grief.

My best advice to you is to keep going to meetings (woman's meetings if you can) and get a sponsor as soon as you can. She will sit down with you and start you on your first step. Also, talk about your emotions in the meetings, even if it's just to say, "Hello, my name is Judy and this is so hard." People know what you're going through because they've been there themselves. They can help.

And, lastly, as far as telling other people and family members. That is up to you, but I recommend holding off for awhile. You need to focus on YOU and YOUR RECOVERY right now. The rest will come in time. You will know when you are ready and it doesn't seem like you are there quite yet.

Hang in there. I'm pulling for you!

[Sugasnaps]

Hi Judy,

Congratulations on your courage. It was really hard for me to tell my husband and family that I was an alcoholic. Esp cuz my brother is in a Baptist church that outright says you are of low moral character if you use alcohol. I have done things in my life time that I am not proud of... who hasn't - but low moral character? Newp... bzzzzzt... thank you for playing move on! "I am me and me is good" (TM - Locowolf). Once I finally did tell them it was a relief for me. I did it for me... not them and whatever problems they have with it is, to be honest, their problems not mine. They will support me or not - I have no control over them. Remember the serentiy prayer? It so applies to my family and my relationship with them! For the most part they have been wonderful. My sister is very supportive and if you have a good relationship with her then she will bend over backwards to help you. It is nice to have a sis like that and it has drawn us closer. Amazingly enough, I find she relates to me on her own level with the issues that I have - not so much with alcohol but she can relate to me with the feelings that I want to supress via my abuse of alcohol. Her non-alcoholic point of view has been as much of a help to me as has the alcoholic point's of view that I have found in my 7 days in AA. I know I know 7 days isn't much... I know that... but it is my newbie experience I'm sharing.

Hang in there and to thine own self be true...

Suga

[KelKel]

Hi Judy
Big Welcome and congratulations on your decision to get sober.
Our emotions are raw and right at the surface when we stop polluting our bodies with poison... it will get better and won't feel so emotional the longer you are sober.

[brigid]

Judy, congrats again on your sober time and on admitting it. I knew deep inside that I was alcoholic but didn't admit it, when I did it was a relief. I have cried and cried and cried, I have not been able to stop at times, sometimes with family occasions (there are drinking attachments there). But I do not cry much now. I did have a few tears at an AA meeting (my first, of a second attempt there) the other night but not like I did a few years ago when I went to a couple of meetings.

I think there was a lot of held back emotion from my alcoholism and that didn't come out until I honestly faced it all. I am sure that it is healthy and normal.

With my family, I just did what I felt comfortable with, I came first and that was that.

Great to see you here!!
love brigid

[Chy]

Hi Judy!

Have no fear, it WILL pass. Then down the road it starts again. It's part of the process, the first 3 weeks were my crying times, at 6 months and been pretty good since. Just stick with it and congrats to you!

[FriendofBill]

Hi Judy,

What courage you have to seek sobriety. Congrats to you!

I have several friends who has sought sobriety in AA thru the back doors of Al Anon. Remember your al anon program tells you first things first. Right now, your just getting sober, thats first and foremost the priority. The rest will follow....of whom to tell, how to tell, when to tell...all that will come in God's time.

The crying is normal, and yep, it passes. Your on an amazing road to heights you could never have expected. Be patient with the process, and trust the process. Reach out to the women in AA, they are your guides in recovery and will nuture you to heath.

Hold tight and remember, you are not and never will be, alone.
hugs!

[Music]

Hi Judy,
I did 23 days short of a year in Al-anon so I know how you feel. I just couldn't be gut-level honest until I came to AA. I was relieved. You'll be ok if you just stick with your decision and don't vary. Go to a lot of meetings, get a sponsor and keep those steps alive and well in your life. Tie a knot and hang on.

[Peter]

Welcome to the forums.

The crying is probably due to pent up emotions and your need to say things that you are still unable to put into words.

Just remember to be gentle with yourself.

[CarolD]

Hi Judy....


At my home group we keep a box of tissues on each table.
They go quickly!

Keep in focus...Hugs

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Judy,

welcome


I've got a lot of meetings in and I still cry This isn't too bad, I like to have emotions today.

[chrisbee65]

Hi Judy,

Congratulation on your decision to choose sobriety! I will keep you in my prayers.

I thought you might like this little quote I found:

"The only way to drown in your own tears is to never shed them"

Your Sister in Recovery,

Chris

[Sheryl85]

I can remember that I cried a lot in the early days... I along with everybody here is pulling for you. Keep us posted on how it's going. Bless you...

[Little Missy]

Welcome to SR and congrats on starting your recovery!!

I cried a lot early on. And I still cry occasionally. It's like in the rooms of AA I have support. People that understand me. I don't have to pretend to be strong. They see right through me. They do not judge, because they have been there.

I told those closest to me, early on, that I was an alcoholic. Heck, they already knew!! Some of my family members still don't know, but I'm sure they see a change in me. I had to accept the fact that I am an alcoholic before I felt comfortable telling others. And I still don't announce it to the world, it is my business, not there's. Give yourself time. You are going through alot of changes. We are here for you!!

The other day, my sister called me complaining about things in her life. She told me she was going to have to start going to AA or she was going to go insane!! She's not even an alcoholic!! LOL Early in my sobriety, she did go with me to an open AA meeting. That was wonderful. Helped her to better understand what I was going through!!

Love and light,
Missy

[fraankie]

well
o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ok
AA
is today Day #4
another miracle?

best
keep posting
fraankie

[Sheryl85]

You bet! And every day that we go through sober is a victory. Keep us posted on how you are doing. We really do care... God bless you.

[jmhs002]

Hi Judy
Wow - big step huh? I remember that day when I walked in to my 1st meeting. I was scared to death, nervous, ashamed, but also RELIEVED!!! I finally admitted it. Don't worry about how to tell your friend's and family right now - you will figure that out as you go. The important thing is to not drink for today, and keep going to AA meetings! By the grace of God, I have just over 11 months of sobriety.
JMHS

[fraankie]

right
don't tell anyone
i waited a year
otherwise, to begin with
you are admitting "another problem"

go slow
11:35pm
eastern time
hang in there to day 3

congrats
fraankie

[fraankie]

JUDY


how's it going???????????
bes
tfraankie