I am heartbroken - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Justme57 · 12-31-2005, 05:42 AM

This is something I cannot really share with my " in person" AA friends, because of confidentiallity (s)

A girl whom I am sponsoring has just rung me and she has picked up. We have been on and off the phone most of the day, regarding a romantic problem, she is experiencing, and last she rang , she was very hurt, and angry. She is a sensible girl, with a good quality of sobriety, but this has been the straw to break the camels back it seems.

She is in no way drunk, has had 2 cans of beer and has 2 left, i know she wont get any more.

I know i could not have stopped her, but my heart is breaking for her .I have suggested she meet me to go to Sun morning meeting in the am, then we can have lunch at the beach...........

Sorry to ramble, but I just had to tell someone

ta
HUGX
Lee

***51anna*** · 12-31-2005, 06:18 AM

It's so sad, isn't it, when we see someone fall, especially when it's someone we really care about. This is a hard journey but I'm sure your sponsee will soon see this as a bump in the road and she will carry on.

Lunch at the beach...Can I come??

Justme57 · 12-31-2005, 06:29 AM

Of course you can my friend !

Unfortunately the cause of her angst has just broken into her house and assaulted her little boy and her. I rang a mutual older male AA friend and he is on his way ( white horse included ) Not funny , I know, but the men in our groups are very protective of we lone females, and I am sure he is pleased to be of some help. The BF is also a mutual AA member , a tangled web indeed

Thanks for the support Anna as always

LUV and HUGX
Lee

***51anna*** · 12-31-2005, 07:15 AM

Omigosh, that's awful Lee! It must be so difficult to see it playing out before your eyes. I am so glad that the gentleman and his white horse are on their way to help out. On top of everything else, she must ber so frightened. I will be sending prayers for your friend and her little boy.

Justme57 · 12-31-2005, 07:55 AM

yes , thanks Anna, a few being said here too.

B*****r i cant get to sleep

HUGX
Lee

Dan · 12-31-2005, 08:03 AM

Prayers for a safe outcome, to all involved Lee.

roadie58 · 12-31-2005, 08:39 AM

"The BF is also a mutual AA member , a tangled web indeed"

Another great reason not to date in the rooms, or if you're a couple before seeking AA for your problem, try going to separate meetings so you can each work your own program. Recovery isn't a good couples activity.

Justme57 · 12-31-2005, 01:15 PM

Thanks for your concern Dan

and Anna

The phone was quiet overnight, and today is a brand new day . Thank you for letting me share that with you last night, it was a bit heavy to take to bed !

it is a wonder that I could type at all last nite, the Spotted one was perched on my knee, hiding from the fireworks! lol

I am soooooooo glad I got a watchdog, makes ME feel so safe ROFL

HUGX guys

we will see what today brings

Lee

Chy · 12-31-2005, 02:49 PM

(((Lee))) ..it's not for lack of her having a good example Lee, remember that. I'll pray she makes it a brief hic-cup.

hopealwayz · 12-31-2005, 03:07 PM

Sending prayers!

(((Lee)))

Music · 12-31-2005, 05:12 PM

Hi Lee,
Remember, the Big Book says that we're the cause of our own problems. Your pigeon obviously wanted to drink, otherwise she's have called you before and not after. I'm sure you've told her to call first. Relationships are not a good bet in early sobriety. They cause more problems than they solve. One more thing. The guy who assaulted her and her boy should be locked up. Call the police and have this guy cuffed and a peace bond put on him. No way should he be allowed to be around your friend and her son. He's obviously dangerous.

Justme57 · 12-31-2005, 08:46 PM

Thanks Music, your advice is very valuable to me as you know.

Yeah she did ring me before she drank, several times in fact, but obviously her mind was made up, and the assault was the clincher.

The police were rung, and 2 AA men went round there, and 1 lady.

All is not lost, she came to Sun morning meeting , shared, about her break, but not the "cause", She drank 1 1/2 cans of beer. Has gone home to have a sleep. We are going to 7pm meeting tonight . She has much support, and is well loved, I think she will be OK .................. for now.

She was warned re the relationship issue, but has been with this guy since she was 2 months sober......her decision.

Thanks everyone for letting me off load

HUGX
Lee

Music · 01-01-2006, 06:20 AM

I know you'll take good care of her Lee. Sometimes those darn decisions feel good at the time we make them but come back to bite us in the butt.

boop64132 · 01-01-2006, 06:34 AM

Prayers sent to all involved!

collinsmi · 01-01-2006, 07:19 AM

I know it sounds cold and tritebut at least it wasn't you. You don't sound like you feel you failed her, that's good. It also sounds like it could have been much worse. Hope she' s ready to start the steps again.

brigid · 01-01-2006, 04:27 PM

Some good stuff out of this Lee, the girl only had a little alcohol and went straight back to meetings. Emotional stuff is the hardest stuff to go through without the old friend alcohol. In fact I think it is an emotional disease.

Prayers to you
love brigid

12-31-2005, 05:42 AM	#1 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	I am heartbroken This is something I cannot really share with my " in person" AA friends, because of confidentiallity (s) A girl whom I am sponsoring has just rung me and she has picked up. We have been on and off the phone most of the day, regarding a romantic problem, she is experiencing, and last she rang , she was very hurt, and angry. She is a sensible girl, with a good quality of sobriety, but this has been the straw to break the camels back it seems. She is in no way drunk, has had 2 cans of beer and has 2 left, i know she wont get any more. I know i could not have stopped her, but my heart is breaking for her .I have suggested she meet me to go to Sun morning meeting in the am, then we can have lunch at the beach........... Sorry to ramble, but I just had to tell someone ta HUGX Lee

12-31-2005, 06:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
*51anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 14,732	It's so sad, isn't it, when we see someone fall, especially when it's someone we really care about. This is a hard journey but I'm sure your sponsee will soon see this as a bump in the road and she will carry on. Lunch at the beach...Can I come?? __________________ Anna And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

12-31-2005, 07:15 AM	#4 (permalink)
*51anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 14,732	Omigosh, that's awful Lee! It must be so difficult to see it playing out before your eyes. I am so glad that the gentleman and his white horse are on their way to help out. On top of everything else, she must ber so frightened. I will be sending prayers for your friend and her little boy. __________________ Anna And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

12-31-2005, 03:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
hopealwayz Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: somewhere Posts: 3,513	Sending prayers! (((Lee))) __________________

12-31-2005, 05:12 PM	#11 (permalink)
Music Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Zion, Illinois Posts: 1,867	Hi Lee, Remember, the Big Book says that we're the cause of our own problems. Your pigeon obviously wanted to drink, otherwise she's have called you before and not after. I'm sure you've told her to call first. Relationships are not a good bet in early sobriety. They cause more problems than they solve. One more thing. The guy who assaulted her and her boy should be locked up. Call the police and have this guy cuffed and a peace bond put on him. No way should he be allowed to be around your friend and her son. He's obviously dangerous. __________________

12-31-2005, 06:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	Of course you can my friend ! Unfortunately the cause of her angst has just broken into her house and assaulted her little boy and her. I rang a mutual older male AA friend and he is on his way ( white horse included ) Not funny , I know, but the men in our groups are very protective of we lone females, and I am sure he is pleased to be of some help. The BF is also a mutual AA member , a tangled web indeed Thanks for the support Anna as always LUV and HUGX Lee

12-31-2005, 07:55 AM	#5 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	yes , thanks Anna, a few being said here too. B*****r i cant get to sleep HUGX Lee

12-31-2005, 08:03 AM	#6 (permalink)
Dan Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 8,723	Prayers for a safe outcome, to all involved Lee.

12-31-2005, 08:39 AM	#7 (permalink)
roadie58 "The BAND" workshop ROCKS! Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 1,504	"The BF is also a mutual AA member , a tangled web indeed" Another great reason not to date in the rooms, or if you're a couple before seeking AA for your problem, try going to separate meetings so you can each work your own program. Recovery isn't a good couples activity.

12-31-2005, 01:15 PM	#8 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	Thanks for your concern Dan and Anna The phone was quiet overnight, and today is a brand new day . Thank you for letting me share that with you last night, it was a bit heavy to take to bed ! it is a wonder that I could type at all last nite, the Spotted one was perched on my knee, hiding from the fireworks! lol I am soooooooo glad I got a watchdog, makes ME feel so safe ROFL HUGX guys we will see what today brings Lee

12-31-2005, 02:49 PM	#9 (permalink)
Chy Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: El Paso, Tx Posts: 5,877	(((Lee))) ..it's not for lack of her having a good example Lee, remember that. I'll pray she makes it a brief hic-cup.

12-31-2005, 08:46 PM	#12 (permalink)
Justme57 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Melbourne victoria Posts: 1,980 Blog Entries: 7	Thanks Music, your advice is very valuable to me as you know. Yeah she did ring me before she drank, several times in fact, but obviously her mind was made up, and the assault was the clincher. The police were rung, and 2 AA men went round there, and 1 lady. All is not lost, she came to Sun morning meeting , shared, about her break, but not the "cause", She drank 1 1/2 cans of beer. Has gone home to have a sleep. We are going to 7pm meeting tonight . She has much support, and is well loved, I think she will be OK .................. for now. She was warned re the relationship issue, but has been with this guy since she was 2 months sober......her decision. Thanks everyone for letting me off load HUGX Lee

01-01-2006, 06:20 AM	#13 (permalink)
Music Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Zion, Illinois Posts: 1,867	I know you'll take good care of her Lee. Sometimes those darn decisions feel good at the time we make them but come back to bite us in the butt. __________________

01-01-2006, 06:34 AM	#14 (permalink)
boop64132 Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Kansas City,Mo Posts: 478	Prayers sent to all involved!

01-01-2006, 07:19 AM	#15 (permalink)
collinsmi Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Colorado Springs CO Posts: 881	I know it sounds cold and tritebut at least it wasn't you. You don't sound like you feel you failed her, that's good. It also sounds like it could have been much worse. Hope she' s ready to start the steps again. __________________ "I was violating my standards faster than I could lower them!"

01-01-2006, 04:27 PM	#16 (permalink)
brigid body ~ mind ~ spirit Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Geelong, Australia Posts: 582	Some good stuff out of this Lee, the girl only had a little alcohol and went straight back to meetings. Emotional stuff is the hardest stuff to go through without the old friend alcohol. In fact I think it is an emotional disease. Prayers to you love brigid __________________ Love is ....

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