A thought I'd like to share....

[chip]

Tonight I was thinking about how important my sobriety is. Some people here, and in AA have said that my sobriety should come first, and be the most important thing in my life. I struggle with that idea.

I mulled that over, thinking of other really important things in my life. I couldn't really hold my sobriety up as high on my priority list as my children. I started thinking more about my family, my job, my hobbies, etc.... and I realized that all that could be lost if I lost my sobriety.

I realized tonight that my sobriety is a crucial part of everything which is important. It's inter-related and inter-twined with all those things which I live for. It isn't a isolated part of my life.....it's as crucial to my happiness as breathing!!!

I'm not going to look at my sobriety as a thing unto itself.....but as a crucial part of a whole.
chip

[mParnell]

Good insite Chip...thats exactly how sobriety should be looked at. What a good break through.

[collinsmi]

So true. My sobriety is pervasive, it's crucial to maintaining a relationship with all that other stuff, especially my relationship with God.

[skinner]

EXACTLY Chip!!! I feel the very same way. Sometimes it's not possible to list things in any specific ORDER of importance, but rather we need to see how they all mesh together.

Thanks for this post!

[fraankie]

abstinence Thru Persistence

Happy Thanksgiving

[FriendofBill]

Yes...but..................without your sobriety, you will lose all those things you hold dear.

Recovery is an oxygen mask for me,,,,put it on, I breathe, live and enjoy all things I love.

Loss of recovery, means no mask, no oxygen.....I will be spiritually dead again...and have lost all those things I hold dear.

[chip]

Hey friendofbill- Yes. I can't do anything without my oxygen mask either... It's manditory for me now. It's related to everything and anything I do. I like the work Skinner used.."mesh". For me everything which is important is "meshed" with my sobriety. Without my sobriety, I could loose all that I hold dear as well.
chip

[findingout]

Chip,

That's just a great way to look at it. Recovering is not something we do like bowling, or golfing, it's something we are. And it really is that important.

One Love, One Heart,
Tony

[2dayzmuse]

Without my sobriety, I am nothing but a drunk. Sure I am much more...mother, daughter, friend, but when I drink the only thing I really care about is my next drink. Everything else gets lost in the shuffle. Therefore, I am nothing but a drunk without my sobriety.

[brigid]

To forget our sobriety or not to rate it highly is to risk loosing it. Over time the thoughts get turned to other things and alcohol fades into the background. It is easy to let alcohol get back in at those times, our defences are down. Very important throughout life for me to remember that sobriety is the most important issue for my happiness. Too easy to feel like it is secondary after a time. I have to expect that although alcohol is not physically part of my life, it will always be part of my life because I will always have to be on guard against its pervasive influence over me.

I want to always think that my biggest achievement in life is to have been able to say no to alcohol, I don't want to forget how important this is to me and my health.

love brigid

[Irish Virus]

You hit the nail on the head in my opinion. Obviously you are of no use to anybody if you are sloppy a$$ed drunk passed out on the couch. All those things that have value to you will vanish without question. That's why being sober is important.

But I have a problem with the sobriety comes first speech as well. Do you do service at an AA meeting instead of going to an event your kid is involved in? Do you take your wife out to a nice dinner or make your usual AA meeting?

I guess it depends on the individual on what is needed to keep your sobriety. Is going to the so-called 90 meetings in 90 days more important than spending it with your family? A neglected wife sits at home while her husband drinks at the bar every night for example. One day him and his buddies see the light and get sober by going to AA every night. The wife is still alone because her husband ain't there.

I read a book one time called I am Third. It's not a bad motto to live by in my opinion.
God is First, My Family and Friends are Second, and I am Third. To me, that's where a person's priorities should lie.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

God should come first but, if I'm sober, I'm not going to have a relationship with God or anyone.


AA is a way of life. If not for AA the drink and drug would be top priority again. When, I'd go on a drinking binge, nothing else was as important as my next drink.

The old expression, I took a drink and the drink took me fits me to a T

My sobriety has brought me serenity in a world gone mad. I learned acceptence from this program. That's the key to any progress you have in life learning this.

[chrisbee65]

Anything I Place Before My Sobriety

I Will Surely Lose in My Relapse

[BlueMoon]

Irish Virus, I hafta reply to this --->

A neglected wife sits at home while her husband drinks at the bar every night for example. One day him and his buddies see the light and get sober by going to AA every night. The wife is still alone because her husband ain't there.

As the x of an A - I MUCH preferred being alone, knowing he was with his AA buddies, working on being sober.

If he had had cancer, I'd have preferred being alone while he got his treatments to being alone cuz he was in the cemetary.

If I'm not sober, I have nothing.
My family and friends understand that. Would I miss my g-daughter's concert for my regular mtg?? HELL NO!

Would I cancel out on her if an AA friend was in a serious crisis and needed help??? HELL YES.

Recovery IS my oxygen. I have less than nothing without either. I have nothing to GIVE to ANYONE if I'm not sober.
I AM nothing if I'm not sober.

For ME, it IS that serious. It IS the number one priority.

Blessings
Blue

[chip]

I really focus on not letting trivial things "take away" my sobiriety. Because it is so important to me, I'm trying not to let stupid stuff get to me. When I let the bad things in life occupy much space in my head, that's a big trigger for me to want to drink again.

When I go through life upset and cursing, I feel I need to medicate myself to feel better. h.A.l.t. is important for me to remember as well. Each of the "halt" items are things which I have some control over. Remembering how important my sobriety is to my life, gives me the extra vigilance not to make myself too vulurnable.
chip

[Nyte Byrd]

I remember struggling with this in my first year sober. And it almost cost me the nine months I had at the time. I heard them say you cannot jeopardize your sobriety for 'anyone'. At that time my sons were 1 and 4 years of age, and my irrational thinking brought to mind a 'what if' scenario. "What if I had to get high or drink in order to save my sons lives? Would I do it?". I answered to myself "yes", so I theorized that meant I was not willing to go through any lengths so therefore this probably won't work for me then. If not for a caring soul at the door when I was leaving who took the time to see how I was doing (with heartfelt sincerity) I think I would have kept on walking after that meeting.

I realized later of course, what an irrational thought that was in the first place. Why in the world would anyone have to drink to save their kids' lives? I guess I was still looking for that way out....still wanting to think I was so unique, that THIS could not POSSIBLY work for me! That thought was about as absurd as questioning one's honesty with being asked "what would you do if you found a bag with a million dollars in it? Like I would EVER have such a dilemma to even waste time pondering such an event.

Like some others have stated, one cannot be any good as a parent unless they are sober, more applied. But my sobriety is foremost than anything in order to even have a chance to do the rest. My sons are 19 and 22 now...and for 18 years sober I have been hearing how if a person needs to puch a peanut down the road with his or her nose to stay sober, that's what they would need to do. And ya know what? No one so far has ever asked me to push a peanut down the road with my nose. Got quite the resentment too because I practiced for a month just in case!!

I only have one loophole left....only one way to get out of this 'thing' they call sobriety and life. That's the day someone goes back out and uses, and comes back and shares that his life got 'better' as a result. I want to party with that dude! But my intuition tells me he just ain't gonna show!

Staying sober for your kids? Can't think of a more beautiful reason to stay sober. As long as you realize they need the parent to remain sober to have any chance of having a good parent.

Remember, we go to AA to learn how to live, not live to go to AA!

My best to you and hope all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Gratitude....not forgetting where you came from!

[chip]

Nyte Byrd-

Those are some good words, friend.

Remember, we go to AA to learn how to live, not live to go to AA!

Yes. I'm not there for the coffee. Learning how to live sober is something I must focus on. I do want to stay sober for my kids. They a one of many reasons I've decided to end my insanity. Sobriety is like my blood; it courses through all parts of my body, keeping each part alive.

I only have one loophole left....only one way to get out of this 'thing' they call sobriety and life. That's the day someone goes back out and uses, and comes back and shares that his life got 'better' as a result. I want to party with that dude! But my intuition tells me he just ain't gonna show!

I want to meet that dude too.

I realized later of course, what an irrational thought that was in the first place. Why in the world would anyone have to drink to save their kids' lives? I guess I was still looking for that way out....still wanting to think I was so unique, that THIS could not POSSIBLY work for me! That thought was about as absurd as questioning one's honesty with being asked "what would you do if you found a bag with a million dollars in it? Like I would EVER have such a dilemma to even waste time pondering such an event.

I have irrational thoughts like that as well.....it's the addiction talking to me. Later, after getting in tune with my HP, I realize just how crazy the thought was.

Tonight I had a thought about what it would be like to be a sales rep. for a beer company. If I where to travel from pub to pub selling a brand of beer........how would I get past the whole "alchoholic thing". I snaped out of the imaginary senerio when I realized that, if prodded, I might taste the product to demonstrate my belief in it. This scared me a bit, and I can't explain why.

I have bad dreams about drinking again. Sometimes I miss drinking. I constantly have to remind myself of the reasons I quit drinking, and not get caught up in playing out senerios in my head. The beer sales rep. one isn't too far off from my life, however. I supose I'm one step away from that, and I'm also one who sells booze for a living.

Some people in AA say things like "if you sit in a barbers chair long enough, sooner or later you will get a haircut". I spend alot of time in a bar.....

I need divine intervention to keep going. It truly is a miracle that I am sober today. I am so grateful to God,AA, and SR that I am sober, because I couldn't do it myself. I really have the cards stacked against me if I were to go at it alone.
chip

[brigid]

Originally Posted by chip

Some people in AA say things like "if you sit in a barbers chair long enough, sooner or later you will get a haircut". I spend alot of time in a bar.....

I don't know about that saying, I have spent a lot of time around drinking since becoming sober and to tell the truth that is the biggest turn off for drinking that I have. Watching people drink and perform when I am sober has been a real eye opener for me.

I have slowly gone away from the whole scene now and don't often bother with socialising that involves drinking, I just find it so distasteful now. But on the weekend my husband and I had his family over for an early Christmas get together. Some of the people were just totally off their faces and again it is just brought home to me that the behaviour is really revolting. Just makes me more determined to NEVER go there again. Mind you if I am around "sensible" drinkers I would probably find it a bit more inviting but that just never happens, there are always people who drink too much and remind me of myself.

love brigid

[chip]

I'm feeling better today, than I was when I posted here last.
Brigid- I've taken a step back and thought about that saying, about the barber chair. If I have legidimate business to do, while in the barbershop, I should be able to avoid getting a haircut if I am focused on my duty at hand. That's how I feel about my place of business; Although it's a bar, I'm not there to drink....I'm there to support my family. When I'm there, I'm not sitting on a barstood, staring at the liquor bottles or the mirror. I'm busy making sure the whole thing runs smoothly.

I wish everyone here another 24 hours of sobriety. By the grace of God, I hope I make it another 24.
chip